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Published on: Caring for Mom and Dad

How to Help Aging Parents With Spring Cleaning Without Stress

The days are getting longer, and the snow is finally beginning to melt. All right, it might not be quite melted yet, and there might be another couple snowstorms on the way, but we are almost officially through the winter which can only mean one thing: spring cleaning! 

The idea of spring cleaning, according to the National Geographic, goes back centuries. While what spring cleaning will look like varies from culture to culture, it all ties back to the same idea of starting off the season fresh by decluttering and reorganizing. 

Not only does it feel good to dust off our homes, but there’s also an understandable reason for why undertaking a major clean-up might be put off until the spring. During the winter months in the northern hemisphere, the days are shorter and colder, which can make us more tired and less motivated, which might allow clutter to build up around us. When spring comes around we feel energized and rejuvenated, and are suddenly inspired to clean up the space around us. 

Now, while spring cleaning might be a natural inclination for everyone, it can be a little extra challenging for older adults. Even if your parents still have good mobility, there might be certain tasks, like cleaning out the gutters, that have become too difficult for them to do on their own. That’s why today we’re going to walk through all the ways you can help your parents complete their spring cleaning without any stress. You might need just one of these suggestions, or you might take them all – whatever is the most useful for your unique situation. Let’s get into it. 

Start with a Conversation

Before you jump into cleaning your parents’ home, you should sit down to have a conversation with them about what needs to be done, and who is going to take care of which task. It’s easy to step on each others’ toes and get into arguments if you don’t have a plan, so take the time to sit down with them to find out what their priorities are. And, once you’ve heard them make sure to be respectful of them. Sure, you might not care as much about going through every item stashed in the attic, but if that is what is most important to them then that needs to be prioritized. Of course, it’s important to make sure the house is generally clean for safety, such as taking care of dust and mold, and making sure there aren’t items cluttering the floor for them to trip over. However, if you think they should focus on landscaping and they don’t care about that you should probably ask yourself if they’re overgrown raspberry patch is really hurting anyone? If the answer is no then try to let it go. 

Once you have listed all of their wants for spring cleaning, you can add on any musts, such as general cleaning, and getting rid of items that are taking up excess space in the house. This is also your opportunity to suggest tasks that you think are important, just remember to drop it if your parents are not interested and it’s not of major concern. 

From there, make sure everyone knows what they’re taking care of during this spring clean. This is a great opportunity to make sure everyone is taking care of something that means something to them or that they are best suited for. Don’t take on mending the garden fence if you’ve never picked up a hammer before! And don’t offer to organize the donation bin if you know your dad is very particular about certain belongings. However, it’s important that you…

Start Small

Unless your parents live in a tiny house, it’s unlikely that all of their spring cleaning will be finished in a day, so it’s best to start with just one room or one project to begin. This is where the earlier step of prioritizing comes in handy. Something like decluttering is a good place to start, as it will immediately make the home a more enjoyable one to live in, will make it easier to do things like vacuum and dust, and will also help prevent falls and fires. To make decluttering easier, start with just one room at a time. 

There are countless articles, books, podcasts and TV shows that give advice on how to declutter. You might try the Marie Kondo method of figuring out what “sparks joy” in your life, and letting go of all the items that don’t. You might follow the idea of letting go of “just in case” items, as outlined here on The Minimalists. 

Other popular methods involve making ‘donation’ and ‘keep’ piles, commiting to filling a garbage bag, getting rid of anything that hasn’t been used in the last 90 days and so on and so on and so on. 

The right way to declutter is whatever way feels best for you. And if this is a particularly difficult task for you and your parents then don’t feel like you have to struggle through it alone! There are countless decluttering experts out there who can come in to help you declutter in an efficient way. This might be particularly helpful if your parent is struggling with grief, as you might want to bring someone who is specifically trained to handle cleaning that is coupled with such a difficult emotion. This is also a great time to mention:

Professional Help

Why should you and your parents have to handle all of this spring cleaning on your own! Whether you’re looking for some help decluttering, regrouting the bathroom tiles, or fixing up the garden shed, there is bound to be someone who is right for the job you need done! 

Of course money is often a concern, but sometimes this might need to be weighed against the costs that are already inevitable. If your parents need their carpets cleaned then you’ll already have to cover the cost of a carpet cleaning machine that might be difficult to maneuver and will already come with a high rental cost. Depending on how long the job takes to do, hiring a professional might not be all that different from renting a machine that might just give you a headache. 

There also might be certain areas of the house, such as a stove or fridge, that might require special cleaning products and techniques that you might not be able to take care of with your busy schedule, and having someone come in who knows how to take care of those tasks can alleviate a lot of stress. 

Of course, if you are getting someone to come in to do a specific task make sure you have specifically communicated with them about that activity. Most cleaners have different costs associated with different kinds of cleaning and you want to make sure you’re in agreement about what tasks are going to be completed for which costs. 

There are often cleaning services that are specifically geared towards the homes of older adults, so reach out to a local community center to see if you can be connected to some of those resources. 

Update Cleaning Products

woman cleaning living roomYour parents might still be perfectly independent, but they might be dealing with stiff joints that make reaching, bending over or standing for long periods of time uncomfortable. So, take their abilities into consideration when planning this clean. 

What tasks can be done sitting? For example, they could sort through drawers or boxes while seated, which can help them to still be involved in the cleaning but in a way that’s more comfortable to them. 

You might also consider updating their cleaning products. If reaching is difficult, then why not get them an extendable duster? That way they’re not having to reach into awkward corners or risking a fall by standing on a stool to reach the ceiling. Home Instead offers some other ideas for good products like getting a lightweight or robot vacuum, and installing a dishwasher. 

You might also want to think about the kind of products that are in your parents’ home. While products like bleach or other strong cleaning products can be very useful, you want to be sure that your parents aren’t at risk of accidentally misusing any products (for example forgetting that bleach shouldn’t be mixed with vinegar and accidentally combining the two and putting their health at risk). If you have any concerns about cognitive decline in your parents then you might want to have a conversation with them about switching offer to more natural products and saving anything stronger for when you or a professional cleaner is in the house. 

Make Cleaning Fun

Just because you’re cleaning doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself! If you’re doing something tedious or unpleasant then it’s a lot more likely that stress and tension will build up and overflow. But, if you make spring cleaning into an enjoyable activity for everyone then the stress will magically fade away, and spring cleaning might actually turn into an event that everyone looks forward to! 

Here are a few ideas for how you can level up your spring cleaning:

  • Pump those tunes. Make a groovy playlist that everyone can listen to to inspire their cleaning. If you know what everyone enjoys then you can make a playlist, or you can ask everyone to tell you three songs that they enjoy and add it to the list. This means everyone will have something to look forward to and you never know, you might be introduced to some amazing new music! 
  • Podcasts. Spring cleaning is the perfect time to binge that new true crime podcast. You can even make it into a game where everyone gets to make a prediction on what is going to happen next. 
  • Prizes. Who doesn’t love a prize? Whoever cleans their room the best/fastest/whatever you’d like gets a prize! 
  • Schedule frequent breaks. Decide on how often it is useful for everyone to take breaks. This might be every 20 minutes or every 2 hours! 
  • Take time together at the end of the day. Order some pizza, have a cup of tea or a beer and enjoy this time together in appreciation of a job well done. 

Humans like having things to look forward to, so if cleaning is looked at like something that will bring them joy, then it’ll be a lot easier to get it done!

Offer to Do Those Annoying Tasks

woman washing dishesYes, you are already being kind by providing help to your parents, so it might be tempting to go with the easiest tasks. But, if you really are keen to help, and you want to do it with the least amount of stress possible, then why not just offer to do the jobs that nobody else really wants to do? It’ll take stress off of your parents and honestly will only be a couple of hours out of your day. And, at the end of you can feel really good about helping them to do something they needed. 

Hot tip: What is considered annoying to you might not be annoying to your parents. You might hate vacuuming but your mom doesn’t mind it at all, so be sure to check in before volunteering to do something that won’t make a difference to them either way. 

Let It Go

There may be some things that you think your parents should take care of, such as repainting their kitchen or washing all of their curtains. And, while those might be things that would make their house look nice, it’s important to remember the advice from the beginning of this piece – is it a safety issue? If not, does it really matter? 

How you run your house is going to be different to how your parents run theirs, and it’s important for you to accept that. You can repaint your own kitchen, but, unless there’s a valid reason, aside from your personal preference, for your parents to do so, just let it go. It won’t be worth the stress on you and your parents’ relationship. 

Instead, when thinking about cleaning think about these things:

  • Safety. Focus on keeping things free of dust, mold, mildew, tripping and fire hazards. 
  • Enjoyment. What makes your parents happy? What matters to them? 

Once you’ve covered those two items, maybe they’ll be a few extra things you’ll add on. Maybe washing those curtains isn’t actually such a big deal – and they’ll look a lot nicer, too! But, the second those things do become a big deal make like Elsa from Frozen and just let it go. 

With these tips hopefully spring cleaning with your aging parents becomes an easy and perhaps even an enjoyable activity that you can move through with ease. After all, it’s always a bit easier to smile when the sun is shining!