It can be difficult to come to the realization that your parents need help. As a child you likely saw your parents as superheroes, capable of tackling anything they came up against. But while your parents might act like superheroes, they are still mortal, which means they may need some help as they age. 

While many people might feel uncomfortable talking about the need for care, it’s a very normal part of aging. In fact, accepting help can help make the quality of life for your parents better, and give them the opportunity to give their attention to what matters most to them, instead of being bogged down with the stress of tasks that are no longer manageable for them.

But how do you know when the time is right to get help? You don’t want to push the subject when it’s not needed, but you also shouldn’t wait until a situation has gotten out of control to finally seek help. In a perfect world you’re already having regular conversations with your parents about their health and you have a robust care plan in place…But, just in case you don’t (which, let’s be honest, is probably the case for most people), let’s talk about five questions to ask you or your parents to figure out if it’s time to look for professional care. 

1.Can You Give Them the Support They Need?

Many adult children end up caring for their parents in some way as they age. This might range from coming over to help set up their TV all the way to being a full time caregiver. Of course, for many others that help falls somewhere in the middle, maybe running errands or taking care of some housework. However, when you notice that your parents seem to be requiring a more intensive level of care it’s important to ask yourself whether or not you are capable of providing it to them. 

Now it’s very important to think about what you are able to provide, not what you wish you could provide or what you wish you wanted to provide. You might wish you had more time to spend with them, or more money to spend on them. You might even wish that you wanted to be a full time caregiver but know deep in your heart that doing so would make you resentful and burnt out. Knowing those things doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you someone who is going to be able to make the best choice for your parents’ care and for your own relationship. 

Even if you genuinely want to provide more intensive care for your parents, your current life simply might not allow you to be able to provide that care in the way that they need. Your job, children or other commitments might make that impossible, or financial constraints might make it too difficult to justify the amount of time that caring for them would occupy in your life. 

Of course it’s important to be involved in your parents’ lives, but you need to figure out exactly what you are capable of providing to them in this moment, and if their needs are greater than what you can give then it’s time to seek out professional help. Remember, getting your parents’ help is about improving their quality of life. And, if getting help takes stress away from you then it’s giving both you and your parents the chance to simply spend time together, away from any looming obligations. Too often, adult children take on the role of caregiver and quickly end up burnt out. By being honest with yourself you are making the best choice for everyone’s health. 

2.Has Their Cognitive Function Changed?

Have you had suspicions about your parents’ cognitive health that you haven’t fully investigated? Or perhaps one of your parents has been officially diagnosed with a condition such as dementia or Alzheimer’s, and you’re really started to see symptoms manifest in a way that is making it difficult for them to continue on with their daily routine. 

While every kind of illness or injury comes with its own unique struggles, cognitive decline can be one of the most challenging conditions for families to deal with. It can be devastating for children and other loved ones to feel like the person they love and know is slipping away from them. And, for the older adult who’s dealing with the decline it’s a constant roller coaster of confusion, anger, sadness and many other emotions. Because, while steps can be taken to make someone with cognitive decline more comfortable, it’s not a reversible or curable condition. Except in the rare circumstances where medication or an injury is causing a temporary cognitive condition, most people are going to continue to deteriorate. 

Of course, if your parent is forgetting an occasional name or misplacing the remote control this doesn’t mean you need to rush into home care. It’s normal for everyone to forget a detail or get confused about something every now and then. And, even if someone is still in good cognitive health, having memory issues is a natural part of aging that will happen with everyone to varying degrees. But, a condition like Alzheimer’s does eventually require a high level of care, so it’s important to look out for signs of a more serious condition, such as:

• Frequently forgetting names and words
• Forgetting how to do tasks they’ve done countless times before
• Getting lost in an area that should be familiar to them
• Leaving the stove on
• Loss of confidence
• Asking the same question over and over, or constantly retelling the same stories

If you are noticing any of the above signs then it’s important to get your parent to a doctor so that they can be evaluated. It’s very likely that they are in need of some support in their home.

3.Are There Cleanliness Issues?

Another question to ask yourself is whether or not you’ve noticed that your parent or parents are struggling with maintaining themselves or their living space. 

It’s very common for cleanliness or personal hygiene to become more difficult as a person ages. The reasons for this can be wide ranging and complex. Let’s talk about what might be going on with cleaning and aging. 

Physical Limitations

Very often, older adults might be dealing with an injury or chronic condition, such as arthritis, that makes certain tasks, such as vacuuming or scrubbing particularly painful and difficult. This might mean that a task such as cleaning a bathroom, which used to take 30 minutes, is now a long arduous activity that some individuals eventually start neglecting as it becomes too difficult to maintain. 

Many older adults might also find that their home is simply too big for them and the process of cleaning and maintaining their yard and garden is too overwhelming.

Mental Health

Mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety can often cause individuals to withdraw from social activities and develop apathy towards their daily routines. The thought of cleaning or bathing might make them so distressed or feel so numb that they avoid those activities completely. 

Similarly to the question about cognitive function, you shouldn’t rush to conclusions about your parents if you notice that there are dishes sitting in the sink occasionally, or if you see a stain on their shirt. However, there is cause for concern if you notice the following:

• Constant mess and clutter. The kind of clutter where your parent is at risk of tripping, or a mess that could cause health issues like mold or that might attract pests. 
• Your parent seems to have gone so long without washing that they are beginning to emit an odor
• Your parent seems to constantly be getting sick, particularly with digestive issues
• Your parent always has dirty hair and fingernails
• The house has maintenance needs that are being neglected to the point of being dangerous, such as wobbly railings or leaks that haven’t been addressed

Depending on the needs of your parent professional help might just look like getting them a housekeeper or someone to do a bit of yard work and basic house repair. Professional care can take many forms, and having someone come in to help with cleaning might be just what your parent needs to live a more comfortable and happy life. 

4.Are Your Parents Safe?

This is a question to ask alongside any of the other questions on this list, but it’s important enough that it warrants its own entry. Your parents might be resistant to the idea of getting help, but at the end of the day what is most important is that they are safe. So, if you can’t answer yes to this question then it’s almost a no-brainer that the time has come for professional help.

Aging Wisely has brought up some excellent questions to ask in relation to safety, which we’ll talk about along with some other important points to consider. 

• Are there guns in the house? Of course that’s not an issue if your parents are of sound mind and the guns are stored securely, but if they are dealing with a lot of confusion or poor mental health then easy access to guns might be of some concern. 
• Can your parents handle an emergency? Your parents might be fine making their way through a regular day, but in the case of an emergency like an extended power outage or a flood, do you feel confident that they would be able to navigate their way through that situation unscathed? 
• How is their mental health? Many older adults already struggle with isolation, and, if that’s combined with poor mental health the combination could have serious consequences. 
• Are my parents capable of completing risky tasks? Does your dad insist on climbing onto the roof to clean the gutters, or does your mom teeter precariously on chairs to reach the top of the window sills? While this might have been scary even in your youth, with limited mobility those tasks might now be downright dangerous. 

Every situation is going to be unique, so only you can know whether or not a certain activity is going to be a danger to your parents. But keeping your parents away from harm is one of the major reasons why you are likely thinking about seeking out professional help. So, ask yourself this question, and if you come to the realization that they are not safe then it’s time to sit down for a serious conversation about next steps.

5.Are Your Parents Dealing with A Serious Medical Issue?

Last, but not least, you should ask if your parent is dealing with a serious medical issue. And, in addition, whether or not the medical issue in question has become too difficult to handle on their own. 

Many older adults might deal with some kind of condition, or even several, as they age. This is often a common part of growing older, and many conditions are easily manageable with appropriate care and attention. However, some conditions may eventually grow too difficult to manage, or your parent might not be open to dealing with their condition in the way they’re supposed to, which means an initially small issue has now grown into something much more concerning. 

For example, over 70% of adults in the US who are over the age of 60 experience high blood pressure, also known as hypertension. Hypertension is often manageable with lifestyle changes, medication or a mixture of both. However, left untreated, or if treatment is mismanaged, hypertension, as outlined by the Mayo Clinic, can lead to stroke, heart attacks, heart failure, blindness, sexual issues, and many many more risks.

The above would be the risks associated with someone who is not able to appropriately manage their condition, but even if your parent is doing everything they can to control their medical condition, it may have become too much for them to handle on their own. If they have extreme mobility limitations then they may need help with feeding, bathing or using the bathroom, which is likely not something you’ll be able to commit to unless you are willing and capable of becoming their full-time caregiver. 

Bringing in professional care will ensure your parent is getting the attention their medical condition requires, which means you can focus on quality time spent together. 

These questions should help empower you to make the best decision for you and your loved one. It can be difficult to make the decision to seek out care, but just remember that you are doing it in the best interest of your parent, and it’s about giving them the best quality of life imaginable. If you are unsure of where to start when it comes to seeking out care, you might consider talking to someone at a local center for older adults, or by checking out the National Institute on Aging for further advice.

There’s something about spring that makes us want to open the windows, shake off the dust, and hit reset. Across cultures, spring cleaning has long symbolized a fresh start—a chance to tidy up, reorganize, and bring new energy into our homes.

But while the urge to clean and declutter might come naturally, the task itself can feel overwhelming—especially for aging parents. Even those who are relatively independent might find certain chores more difficult than they used to, whether it’s lifting heavy boxes, sorting through decades of belongings, or tackling high shelves and hard-to-reach corners.

If you’re wondering how to support your parents through this seasonal refresh without stress (for them or for you), you’re in the right place. This guide offers practical, thoughtful ways to help them enjoy the benefits of a clean and organized home—at a pace and plan that works for everyone. Let’s dive in.

Start with a Conversation

Before you jump into cleaning your parents’ home, you should sit down to have a conversation with them about what needs to be done, and who is going to take care of which task. It’s easy to step on each others’ toes and get into arguments if you don’t have a plan, so take the time to sit down with them to find out what their priorities are. And, once you’ve heard them make sure to be respectful of them. Sure, you might not care as much about going through every item stashed in the attic, but if that is what is most important to them then that needs to be prioritized. Of course, it’s important to make sure the house is generally clean for safety, such as taking care of dust and mold, and making sure there aren’t items cluttering the floor for them to trip over. However, if you think they should focus on landscaping and they don’t care about that you should probably ask yourself if they’re overgrown raspberry patch is really hurting anyone? If the answer is no then try to let it go. 

Once you have listed all of their wants for spring cleaning, you can add on any musts, such as general cleaning, and getting rid of items that are taking up excess space in the house. This is also your opportunity to suggest tasks that you think are important, just remember to drop it if your parents are not interested and it’s not of major concern. 

From there, make sure everyone knows what they’re taking care of during this spring clean. This is a great opportunity to make sure everyone is taking care of something that means something to them or that they are best suited for. Don’t take on mending the garden fence if you’ve never picked up a hammer before! And don’t offer to organize the donation bin if you know your dad is very particular about certain belongings. However, it’s important that you…

Start Small

Unless your parents live in a tiny house, it’s unlikely that all of their spring cleaning will be finished in a day, so it’s best to start with just one room or one project to begin. This is where the earlier step of prioritizing comes in handy. Something like decluttering is a good place to start, as it will immediately make the home a more enjoyable one to live in, will make it easier to do things like vacuum and dust, and will also help prevent falls and fires. To make decluttering easier, start with just one room at a time. 

There are countless articles, books, podcasts and TV shows that give advice on how to declutter. You might try the Marie Kondo method of figuring out what “sparks joy” in your life, and letting go of all the items that don’t. You might follow the idea of letting go of “just in case” items, as outlined here on The Minimalists. 

Other popular methods involve making ‘donation’ and ‘keep’ piles, commiting to filling a garbage bag, getting rid of anything that hasn’t been used in the last 90 days and so on and so on and so on. 

The right way to declutter is whatever way feels best for you. And if this is a particularly difficult task for you and your parents then don’t feel like you have to struggle through it alone! There are countless decluttering experts out there who can come in to help you declutter in an efficient way. This might be particularly helpful if your parent is struggling with grief, as you might want to bring someone who is specifically trained to handle cleaning that is coupled with such a difficult emotion. This is also a great time to mention:

Professional Help

Why should you and your parents have to handle all of this spring cleaning on your own! Whether you’re looking for some help decluttering, regrouting the bathroom tiles, or fixing up the garden shed, there is bound to be someone who is right for the job you need done! 

Of course money is often a concern, but sometimes this might need to be weighed against the costs that are already inevitable. If your parents need their carpets cleaned then you’ll already have to cover the cost of a carpet cleaning machine that might be difficult to maneuver and will already come with a high rental cost. Depending on how long the job takes to do, hiring a professional might not be all that different from renting a machine that might just give you a headache. 

There also might be certain areas of the house, such as a stove or fridge, that might require special cleaning products and techniques that you might not be able to take care of with your busy schedule, and having someone come in who knows how to take care of those tasks can alleviate a lot of stress. 

Of course, if you are getting someone to come in to do a specific task make sure you have specifically communicated with them about that activity. Most cleaners have different costs associated with different kinds of cleaning and you want to make sure you’re in agreement about what tasks are going to be completed for which costs. 

There are often cleaning services that are specifically geared towards the homes of older adults, so reach out to a local community center to see if you can be connected to some of those resources. 

Update Cleaning Products

Your parents might still be perfectly independent, but they might be dealing with stiff joints that make reaching, bending over or standing for long periods of time uncomfortable. So, take their abilities into consideration when planning this clean. 

What tasks can be done sitting? For example, they could sort through drawers or boxes while seated, which can help them to still be involved in the cleaning but in a way that’s more comfortable to them. 

You might also consider updating their cleaning products. If reaching is difficult, then why not get them an extendable duster? That way they’re not having to reach into awkward corners or risking a fall by standing on a stool to reach the ceiling. Home Instead offers some other ideas for good products like getting a lightweight or robot vacuum, and installing a dishwasher. 

You might also want to think about the kind of products that are in your parents’ home. While products like bleach or other strong cleaning products can be very useful, you want to be sure that your parents aren’t at risk of accidentally misusing any products (for example forgetting that bleach shouldn’t be mixed with vinegar and accidentally combining the two and putting their health at risk). If you have any concerns about cognitive decline in your parents then you might want to have a conversation with them about switching offer to more natural products and saving anything stronger for when you or a professional cleaner is in the house. 

Make Cleaning Fun

Just because you’re cleaning doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself! If you’re doing something tedious or unpleasant then it’s a lot more likely that stress and tension will build up and overflow. But, if you make spring cleaning into an enjoyable activity for everyone then the stress will magically fade away, and spring cleaning might actually turn into an event that everyone looks forward to! 

Here are a few ideas for how you can level up your spring cleaning:

• Pump those tunes. Make a groovy playlist that everyone can listen to to inspire their cleaning. If you know what everyone enjoys then you can make a playlist, or you can ask everyone to tell you three songs that they enjoy and add it to the list. This means everyone will have something to look forward to and you never know, you might be introduced to some amazing new music! 
• Podcasts. Spring cleaning is the perfect time to binge that new true crime podcast. You can even make it into a game where everyone gets to make a prediction on what is going to happen next. 
• Prizes. Who doesn’t love a prize? Whoever cleans their room the best/fastest/whatever you’d like gets a prize! 
• Schedule frequent breaks. Decide on how often it is useful for everyone to take breaks. This might be every 20 minutes or every 2 hours! 
• Take time together at the end of the day. Order some pizza, have a cup of tea or a beer and enjoy this time together in appreciation of a job well done. 

Humans like having things to look forward to, so if cleaning is looked at like something that will bring them joy, then it’ll be a lot easier to get it done!

Offer to Do Those Annoying Tasks

Yes, you are already being kind by providing help to your parents, so it might be tempting to go with the easiest tasks. But, if you really are keen to help, and you want to do it with the least amount of stress possible, then why not just offer to do the jobs that nobody else really wants to do? It’ll take stress off of your parents and honestly will only be a couple of hours out of your day. And, at the end of you can feel really good about helping them to do something they needed. 

Hot tip: What is considered annoying to you might not be annoying to your parents. You might hate vacuuming but your mom doesn’t mind it at all, so be sure to check in before volunteering to do something that won’t make a difference to them either way. 

Let It Go

There may be some things that you think your parents should take care of, such as repainting their kitchen or washing all of their curtains. And, while those might be things that would make their house look nice, it’s important to remember the advice from the beginning of this piece – is it a safety issue? If not, does it really matter? 

How you run your house is going to be different to how your parents run theirs, and it’s important for you to accept that. You can repaint your own kitchen, but, unless there’s a valid reason, aside from your personal preference, for your parents to do so, just let it go. It won’t be worth the stress on you and your parents’ relationship. 

Instead, when thinking about cleaning think about these things:

• Safety. Focus on keeping things free of dust, mold, mildew, tripping and fire hazards. 
• Enjoyment. What makes your parents happy? What matters to them? 

Once you’ve covered those two items, maybe they’ll be a few extra things you’ll add on. Maybe washing those curtains isn’t actually such a big deal – and they’ll look a lot nicer, too! But, the second those things do become a big deal make like Elsa from Frozen and just let it go. 

With these tips hopefully spring cleaning with your aging parents becomes an easy and perhaps even an enjoyable activity that you can move through with ease. After all, it’s always a bit easier to smile when the sun is shining!

We all want what’s best when it comes to the people we love. Many adult children struggle with the thought of their parents growing older, especially if their parents have health concerns that appear to be unaddressed. As an adult child your first instinct might be to get angry at your parent, or to demand that they get help. While it’s very understandable to be upset at what seems to be inaction or apathy on the part of your parents, it’s important to address your concerns without crossing any boundaries. Yes, it’s frustrating and upsetting to watch someone deal with a scary medical issue and not go after the help you know they need, but unless your parents are dealing with severe cognitive decline, there is a limit to how much choice you are going to have in the matter. 

However, if you are thoughtful and careful with your approach, then you may find your parent more open to hearing your point of view. So, let’s get into how you can discuss health concerns with your parents without overstepping. 

Investigate Your Own Feelings

Before you address your concerns with your parents it’s important to really dig into what emotions you are feeling, and what result you hope to achieve from your conversation with them. When it comes to our family, we can sometimes get overly emotionally involved, and come into a conversation really hot, instead of taking the time to think about how we’re feeling and how we can address something in a way that’s constructive. The reality is that most people don’t respond well to aggression, so if you come into the conversation with anger or blame, then it’s much less likely that you’ll be able to have a productive dialogue. 

So, take a bit of time to think about what concerns you have about your parent or parents. Here are a few things to consider:

• What issue is my parent having? 
• What consequences could result if this issue goes unaddressed?
• What solutions are available to help treat this issue?
• What will my response be if they propose an alternate solution or don’t want to address the issue at all?

That last point is particularly important, as quite often older adults might be resistant to change or getting help. And, even if they are open to a solution it might not be the one you had in mind. But, if you truly want to help your parent you have to go into this conversation with the knowledge that it might not go the way you want it to. You can issue orders to your parents, but it’s unlikely they’ll follow them and it’s very likely that interacting in that way will cause damage to your relationship. 

So, before you speak to your parents, write down your feelings and take time to process them. It might also be helpful to speak with a therapist or a trusted loved one who you feel will be able to offer an unbiased opinion on the situation. Sometimes we all just need a bit of perspective. 

Check in With Them First

Once you’ve checked in with yourself it’s time to check in with your parents! Yes, you might have a lot of genuinely good ideas about how you think they should manage their health, but don’t jump in expecting that you know all the details about their lives or how they’re feeling. 

Even if you’re close with your parents it’s very likely that you haven’t shared every element of your life with them, so why expect that they would share every element of their lives with you? Many older adults might purposefully withhold medical issues from their children because they don’t want to scare or burden them. Plus, some older adults might fear losing their autonomy, and worry about what sharing health issues with their children might mean for their future. 

Your parents might be scared, or they might be organized! You might discover that your parents have already had many discussions about aging and already have a solid plan in place in the scenario where they find themselves able to go about their regular routine without assistance. But, if you come in with all of your own ideas without giving them a chance to speak then they might not be inclined to share that information with you. So, to allow your parents the opportunity to share try something like this:

“Hi, mom/dad. I wanted to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind lately. I notice you seem to be struggling with X and I wanted to ask you how you’ve been feeling about it. What are your plans moving forward?” 

Then, see if this gets them to open up. Of course, your parents might brush this question aside, but it’s important to give them an opportunity to speak before charging in with your own ideas. And, when asking these questions it’s crucial that you…

Listen

You might go into a conversation with the best of intentions, but it’s still very common to ask a question and then not really listen to the response. If you want to give space for your parents to tell you about their health issues on their own terms then you really have to be prepared to listen. This can be difficult to do when emotions are already high, which is why the first step on this list is so important for you to complete before you talk to your parents. If you’re up in your own head getting upset or just waiting for you to state your opinion then you’re not really going to hear what they’re saying, and you might miss something that you actually agree with! 

Thankfully, Harvard Business Review offers some great tips on how to be a better listener. Some suggestions that they offer are:

• Ask questions. Ask even more questions than you think you need to. This helps you stay engaged in the present moment. Try to make sure your questions are to help you clarify your understanding, not to accuse your parents of anything. 
• Minimize distractions. Have your conversation in a quiet and private place, and make sure you have addressed any pressing matters that you’re currently dealing with before starting, as you don’t want your mind to wander to other things while they’re talking. 
• Don’t prepare responses while the other person is speaking. It can be tempting to want to prepare a response in advance, but let your parents have their say and then take some time to process how you’re feeling. In some cases you might even want to give yourself a few days to think about what they’ve said. When dealing with health issues it’s very unlikely that everything is going to be resolved in one day. Health is constantly evolving, and this is going to be an ongoing conversation, so there’s no need to rush your thoughts. 

When you truly listen to someone else it shows respect. Take the time to listen and really make your parents feel heard and it’s much more likely that you’ll be able to have a productive and respectful conversation about the future. For other tips on how to be respective, check out this post by the University of West London.

Vocalize Your Concerns

Now that you have prioritized your parents feelings and given them a chance to speak, it’s appropriate for you to share with them what you are most concerned about. While you might have prepared what you are going to say in advance it’s also important to remain flexible. Upon asking them how they’re feeling they might have shared something with you that has changed your feelings on the subject, so make sure you’re still allowing yourself an opportunity to have your mind changed. 

But, there’s a good chance your feelings still stand, and now is the time to tell your parents what it is about their health that is worrying you and what fears you have surrounding those issues. 

Make sure to keep these comments factual and also about the personal impact it has on you. For example, saying “you’re so depressed and you’re going to end up totally falling apart!” sounds accusatory. Plus, unless you’ve discussed mental health many times before and your parent has used the term depression, it’s also making a lot of assumptions about how they’re feeling. Instead, saying something factual like, “I notice you haven’t seemed interested in socializing, and you mentioned you’ve been having a lot of trouble sleeping. I’m worried you might be struggling with depression.” This uses facts and your own personal worries about the facts to get your point across. The latter statement also seems much more empathetic and supportive. 

Chances are you are bringing up these issues because you love your parents and you just want them to be all right. If you make it clear that you’re bringing up these delicate topics out of love and concern then they might be more open to addressing them with you. 

However, it’s important to not push too hard. It’s completely acceptable to bring up your concerns, but if your parents don’t want to address it then you can’t force them to. If they continually shut you down then you need to respect that, as difficult as it may be. Unless they are a danger to themselves or others, you can’t force them to get help that they don’t want. 

Provide Options

If your parents are open to discussing health concerns, then it’s important to provide them with options. Demanding that they follow exactly what you want them to do or telling them that there’s only one way to handle something is not being respectful of your parents’ needs or boundaries. You can certainly share with them the course of action that you think might be the most useful or successful for them, but it’s important to still suggest a few different options for them to look into. Again, this is all about being respectful of your parents, and as an added bonus, it also shows them that you’ve put a lot of thought and work into addressing this issue. You would probably be upset if your parents, or anyone for that matter, ordered you about, so why would your parents respond well to it? 

Prepare reading materials for your parents in advance, as it might be useful to leave it with them after your conversation so that they have time to digest it. Again, whatever issue you’re dealing with, it’s not going to be resolved in one conversation. And, it’s understandable that your parents might have some big feelings about making a major change like moving into an assisted living facility or giving up their driver’s license. Give them time and give them options. 

Choose the Right Time and Place

Something else to consider when bringing up health concerns without overstepping is when and where to do it. You don’t want to ambush them at a party, or bring up an emotional topic in a public place where they might be embarrassed about expressing themselves in front of others. Show your parents respect by bringing up this topic in a private and quiet place that feels comfortable and safe. 

You might even want to give your parents some warning by telling them that you want to sit down to discuss a sensitive topic with them, so that they can have a bit of mental preparation that you might be heading into a difficult subject. But everyone is different, so if you don’t think providing warning will be helpful, just make sure you’re choosing a time and place that won’t be disruptive to your parents. 

Recognize They Can Make Their Own Decisions

This point can be the hardest for adult children to recognize, but your parents are their own people and are able to make their own decisions, even if you don’t agree with them. If it’s helpful just think back to when you were a teenager. You probably made lots of choices that your parents didn’t like, but you were figuring out your own independence and forging your own path. Well, older adults have been around a whole lot longer than you when you were fourteen, so chances are they have a good idea about what they need and don’t need in their lives. And, even if they don’t, what can you do about it?

It’s frustrating to feel helpless, but at the end of the day you do need to respect your parents’ decisions. Yes, it’s worth voicing your concerns, but if you have tried to get them to engage with you and received dismissal or anger in return then you need to know when to drop the subject. From there it’s up to you to decide what kind of relationship you can have with your parents that will make you feel comfortable even if they continue to deteriorate. 

Of course, if it’s a case of severe cognitive or physical impairment then there may be times you have to intervene, but the rest of the time you need to know when to take a step back. 

It’s always hard to see a loved one struggle, so these guidelines should help you navigate these difficult conversations. They might not go your way, but at least you’ll know you’ve done everything you could to support the people you love. 

No matter your age, exercise is important. As we grow older, this importance only increases—however, how often we exercise naturally declines with age. While you don’t need to be running marathons or going to the gym every day, maintaining a steady level of exercise is crucial for healthy aging.

According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, adults over 65 should aim to get at least 150 minutes of moderate exercise per week. This number may seem daunting, but by splitting this time into more manageable parts—like chunks of just 30 minutes, 5 days a week—you can start to work exercises into your routine, and begin reaping the rewards.

The Benefits of Staying Active

But what exactly are the benefits of exercise? Why should you maintain a good exercise routine? While exercise may seem mostly physical, the mental and social benefits of staying active should not be understated. Below, we will take a look at how all three of these areas are improved by consistent exercise.

Physical Benefits

Exercise has so many benefits for the body that, if we were to try and talk about all of them, we would be here all day! Instead, we will focus on the benefits which are most note-worthy for older adults.

First up are the fairly obvious benefits for strength, endurance, and balance. As you complete exercises that engage your muscles (such as resistance training and bodyweight exercises) and exercises that work your balance (like standing on one leg), your overall bodily awareness will improve. This in turn can help to reduce the risks of falls, which are a common problem in older adults—in fact, according to the CDC, 1 in 4 older adults experience a fall each year, which can lead to life-altering injuries. Thankfully, exercise can also help to strengthen your bones, which can reduce the risks of serious injuries even if you do experience a fall.

Alongside this, consistent exercise can also reduce the risks of serious health conditions such as heart disease, strokes, high blood pressure, diabetes, and even 8 different forms of cancer! As you get older, your risk of developing these conditions increases; for example, as per the Medical University of South Carolina, 75% of strokes occur in patients over the age of 65. And, according to the National Cancer Institute, cancer risks rise from “fewer than 25 cases per 100,000 people in age groups under age 20 (…) to more than 1,000 per 100,000 people in age groups 60 years and older”. Doing your best to prevent these potentially life-altering problems is key to maintaining your quality of life for as long as possible. Emerging research even suggests that exercise may have a boosting effect on your immune system, so staying consistently active might just make fighting off the common cold, flu, or COVID-19 easier too. 

Mental and Social Benefits

You’ve likely heard of a “runner’s high”, or the feeling of happiness you get after exercising. This effect is caused by the release of neurotransmitters called endorphins, which reduce pain and make you feel better overall. While it may be called a runner’s high, any form of exercise can produce this effect, so even if you don’t have the mobility or endurance to run you can still reap these rewards! Along with generally feeling good, this release of endorphins can also provide you with some relief from many chronic conditions. If you struggle with chronic pain, have a mental health disorder like depression or anxiety, or simply deal with a lot of stress, exercise can help. It can also lower the risks of developing issues such as dementia and can improve symptoms of cognitive decline. 

Just as exercise can help little kids to tucker themselves out and get to sleep, it can also help if you are experiencing insomnia. According to the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine, insomnia is a common concern in older adults. In fact, as many as half of older adults will experience insomnia to some degree. Whether you struggle to fall asleep or stay asleep, exercising during the day can help you out during the night.

Exercise also doesn’t have to be a solo endeavour! Trying out new exercise classes or fitness facilities can provide a great opportunity to meet new people and build social connections. As an older adult, it may feel harder to get out of the house—whether that be from mobility issues, smaller social circles, or a simple lack of motivation—and so having a consistent way to get out and be active can do wonders. You might also use the opportunity to hang out with your current friends, to strengthen and maintain your connection. While there are many ways to stay social, the added benefits for your mind and body are great added benefits to get you, and your loved ones, out of the house together.

How to Stay Active

As mentioned above, you should be aiming to get at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity activity per week. This level of activity should be around the same intensity as brisk walking, so there’s no need to be pouring sweat! In a Healthline article, one suggested method is to split this up across five days, with the other two days serving as rest and recovery periods. During your five active days, you can then aim to do just 30 minutes each day. These 30 minutes can also be split up—for example you could do two 15 minute sessions, one in the morning and one in the evening. Finding the right schedule for you is crucial for long-term sustainability, so don’t be afraid to mix things up depending on your schedule.

Also key is doing the right exercises. You should aim to do a combination of aerobic exercises (i.e. cardio) and muscle-strengthening exercises to get both endurance and strength benefits. Ideally, you should be doing 2 days of this strength training alongside the 150 minutes of moderate-intensity cardio. If you’re a busy person, or simply have a lot going on one week, you can also do some of these activities while doing something else, like calling with friends, or cut back slightly if needed. Consistency is more important than perfection, so don’t worry if you miss a day here and there.

Try Exercise Classes

While there are many ways to get your exercise in, a great way to start is by attending exercise classes. Places like community centers, pools, and gyms usually have a selection of classes targeted specifically at older adults, which you can use as a jumping-off point into the world of fitness. These classes will also often repeat on a weekly basis, making them an easy way to get a steady stream of exercise—you won’t have to worry about constantly scheduling activities, since the schedule will be laid out for you.

For those with high mobility, endurance, and strength, don’t be afraid to move your body in invigorating ways! Classes for pilates, dance, and weight training can help you to push yourself and break through physical and mental barriers. Still, be careful not to injure yourself—building intensity will take time, but it’s still possible to grow stronger as long as you are controlled and careful in your approach. If you’re looking for a more relaxed form of exercise, aquatic fitness (also known as aquafit) and seated exercise classes can get you moving without putting too much strain on your body.

Exercise shouldn’t always be about strength or endurance either. According to WebMD, stretching is vital to maintaining joint and muscle health in older adults, and should always be a part of your exercise routine. Before exercising, try doing some dynamic stretches—stretches that involve moving your body. After exercising, incorporating static stretches—where you hold your stretched position for a few seconds without moving—can help you to recover and prevent soreness. Exercise classes for things like yoga and tai chi can help you to maintain and improve your flexibility while also providing strengthening and endurance-building exercise.

Get Outdoors

Whether you’re an outdoorsy person or not, being outside can have a significant positive effect on your health. In a review of research, the National Library of Medicine concluded that being outside in nature has a considerable positive impact on the overall wellbeing, mood, and quality of life of older adults. Even if you live in a large city, research has shown that any greenspace—even a small city park—can have this positive effect. So, if the weather permits, consider getting outside for a walk or cycle around your local green spaces. If you live near a forest or hiking trail, you could also make an afternoon of going out with friends or family to hike, have lunch, and catch up together.

In the winter, it can be harder to get outside and be active, both because of the weather and because of the shorter daylight hours. However, that’s not to say that it’s impossible! In fact, there are many ways to get outside during the winter. If you are feeling energetic, snowshoeing or skiing can get your blood pumping even on cold days—just remember to dress appropriately and stay safe outdoors. You can also take a walk along cleared city streets, which can be extra fun when Christmas decorations are out. 

When the weather is warmer, you can also get exercise through day-to-day activities. For example, if you enjoy gardening, you can get a fair bit of upper body exercise through the process of lifting and lowering various pots and plants. Another example might be going to the beach; since walking on sand or uneven ground is harder than on city sidewalks, this can be a great way to improve lower body strength and balance.

Workout at Home

If you don’t feel like going outside, can’t get out because of the weather, or you just want to get a bit more exercise in a convenient, accessible way, at home workouts are a fantastic option. Many of the exercises—particularly those in seated workouts—can also be done while multitasking, making them easy to work into a busy schedule. 

A huge number of guided workout videos exist on platforms like YouTube, where a simple search for “at home older adult workouts” or “seated exercises for older adults” can bring up thousands of options. Some of these may require equipment, such as dumbbells or resistance bands, but adding “no equipment” to your search will help to filter these out if you don’t want these kinds of videos. If you do have equipment like dumbbells, resistance bands, or an exercise ball, adding those words into your search will bring up videos specific to your equipment. Following a 15, 20, or 30 minute video can save you the hassle of trying to count repetitions or time your own movements, and can allow you to focus fully on your muscles to build your mind-body connection. You could even listen to an audiobook if you find yourself getting distracted!

If you are looking to improve flexibility, there are countless guided yoga practices online as well. Some may target the lower body, or upper body, or the core—it all depends on what you are looking for. By making sure to add in words like “older adult” or “beginner” to your search, you’ll be able to find easier ones to start with. From there, you can move on to trickier exercises as your strength progresses, or you can stay at the beginner level! It all depends on what you are comfortable with, and what your body’s limits are.

If you would rather put together your own workout routine, you can find many older adult-targeted exercises and routines online. Some examples of these include Healthline’s 6-minute strength routine, featuring exercises like wall pushups, toe taps, and heel raises, as well as the CDC’s recommendations of chair exercises, airplane stretches, and desk exercises. Try using a paper and pen or digital note-taking app to allocate certain exercises to certain days, and then tweak that routine to make it work for you. 

Final Remarks

Through this article, our hope is that you have learned the importance of exercise for your physical, mental, and social health, as well as the many ways that you can begin exercising. Whether you attend a tai chi class, go for a hike with friends, or do some weight training from home, there are countless ways to get yourself moving in a safe, fun way. 

As a final note, it is crucial that you remember that your body needs rest and recovery too. Stretching is one of the most important ways that you can increase the longevity and sustainability of your exercise habits, and therefore your overall quality of life, so make sure to always warm up and cool down after moving your body. Along with this, taking days to rest in between active days actually improves your ability to exercise. It may seem counterintuitive to take a day off, but science has proven that these rest days are vital for injury prevention, improving sleep, and reducing the chances of burnout. 

Above all, remember to prioritize your long term health over short term gains. If you have not been very active in recent years, taking things slow to start will provide you with a stable base to build on in the future. Focusing too much on the intensity or duration of your exercises can lead to burnout or even injuries—which can be especially devastating for older adults. So, while it can be frustrating to not be able to do as much as you could when you were younger, coming to terms with your age and accepting your limits is the best thing you can do for your current and future health.