Holiday season can be a lot of fun! The sparkling lights, warm family dinners, and cheesy Hallmark movies bring a feeling of cheer and joy like no other. However, this time of year can also feel lonely—especially if you’re living alone, or can’t get out like you used to. No matter the reason, it can be very difficult to see everyone feeling the joy while you’re feeling down. While anyone can struggle with holiday blues, the unfortunate truth is that older adults are often most affected.
Luckily, even though it may be hard to see, there are ways to make your holidays feel brighter. With an open mind and willingness to adapt, you’ll be surprised at just how many ways you can make changes for the better.
Common Challenges
Many things can cause you to feel down during the holidays. As an older adult, life can feel harder in general as a result of your aging body, even outside of the holiday season. Joint problems, mobility issues, and health conditions like arthritis, diabetes, and chronic pain can all add up and start to weigh on you; this in turn can impact your mental health, and can lead to conditions like depression and anxiety in severe cases. For example, according to the National Institute on Aging, people with other medical conditions, sleep problems, and those who are socially isolated—all common in older adults—are at a greater risk of developing depression. Add in the dark and gloomy weather of winter, and these feelings can become overwhelming.
The weather can also make it harder to get outside for purely practical reasons. As temperatures grow colder, you may need to deal with ice, snow, rain, and other hazardous conditions. For those who have fallen in the past, or those who have osteoporosis, this can be an especially big concern, and may prevent you from going out as much as you would like to. This, paired with the age-related challenges mentioned earlier, can lead to the first common challenge: isolation.
The second common challenge is past memories. While many of you likely have fond memories of holidays past, these memories can also feel bittersweet. Perhaps you’ve lost a loved one, and Christmas just doesn’t feel the same without them. You may have also moved to a new place and therefore be feeling uprooted from your usual holiday traditions and events. No matter your circumstance, nostalgia can be both pleasant and painful.
Similarly, holiday staples such as gift-giving can also feel both heartwarming and stressful. If you have retired, it can make spending money a bit more of a balancing act than it may have been in your earlier years. Even if you’re still working, it is natural to feel anxious about your spending, whether it be on decorations, food, or presents. This season certainly places a lot of emphasis on lavish displays of wealth! If you live far away from relatives and family members there may also be pressure to visit for the holidays, which can amplify financial stress.
No matter your challenge, be it finances, mobility, weather, or something else, making simple changes can usually make a surprisingly big difference.
Overcoming Isolation in Person
But what exactly are these small changes? How can you improve your holidays without sacrificing your traditions? Let’s start with the first common challenge for older adults, which is isolation.
Since isolation can cause or worsen conditions like depression, anxiety, and cognitive decline, it is very important to prevent it. To do this, you’ll need to find ways to stay connected with others—luckily, that’s what this season is all about! You may have family traditions like gingerbread house competitions, or a specific concert that you go to each year, which can be great ways to bring people together. In case you don’t have any traditions, or are looking for more inspiration, we have put together several suggestions below.
If the weather is looking nice, going outside to look at Christmas lights can be a fun, low-key outing. Be sure to bundle up as temperatures can drop quickly, especially at night. If you’re hoping to avoid the chill, you could try pairing the walk with a warm restaurant dinner, or a mug of hot chocolate at a local cafe. You might also choose to drive instead of walking, if the temperatures are especially brisk. Just make sure that your driver keeps their eyes on the road!
If you’re hoping to get out of the house but don’t fancy getting food or looking at decorations, you could try a holiday concert! In larger cities, there are usually plenty of options to choose from; a quick search on Google or a browse through your local newspaper can point you in the right direction. If you live in a more rural area, many concerts have an online live streaming option that can allow you to view from your own home! Gathering a few of your friends and watching the show, in person or virtually, can help to bring festive cheer back into your life.
For those of you who prefer to have a cozy night in, try gathering your loved ones to make holiday bakes and crafts. Some ideas include shortbread cookies, gingerbread (bonus points if you make houses with them!), Christmas pudding, or any other baked good that puts you in a festive mood. You can also bake your cookies or gingerbread ahead of time, and then host a cookie decorating party—if you have young grandkids, this can be a great way to bond with them. If you’re more of a crafter than a baker, you might try making some ornaments, wreathes, or handmade cards for your family and friends. The world is your oyster!
In an ideal world, we would be able to see our loved ones whenever we wanted to; however, this is unfortunately not the reality for most people. As an older adult, you may experience this more than others, especially if you have any health issues or are living in a retirement home. Your schedule may also not align with your family members or friends. You may even live in a completely different area of the world! Whatever the case, if meeting in person isn’t feasible, you may want to look into virtual calling platforms. Some examples include Zoom, Google Meet (a great option as it is linked to gmail, which you may already have), and Skype, all of which are free. If you aren’t very tech savvy, you could try to get a loved one to help you out next time they come over, or enlist the help of a neighbour. After setting things up, do your best to call people as much as possible, even if you aren’t very comfortable with technology yet. Practice may not make perfect, but it definitely makes things easier.
Dealing With Past Memories
As an older adult, your past memories may also become a challenge for you. Holidays often come with many associated memories, which can be both joyful and painful. As you grow older, you may also start to experience a loss of memories; conditions such as Alzheimer’s can make previously cherished memories blur and fade, leading to an overwhelming sense of loss. However, just as with other challenges, there are ways to make this easier for you.
If you are struggling with lost or faded holiday memories, going back to your time honoured traditions might just make things a little clearer. According to University of Florida Health, participating in familiar activities can offer you a sense of stability, reduce anxiety, and improve feelings of disorientation. Whether it’s baking your special holiday cookies, listening to your favourite Christmas song, or eating dinner with your family, including these traditions in your holiday activities can offer comfort during these overwhelming times.
Reminding yourself of positive past memories can also help you to reminisce in a positive way. Family photo albums, home videos, scrapbooks, diaries, and similar things can all hold many previously forgotten memories. Looking at pictures from specific trips or years can also help to sharpen fuzzy memories! As you go through these, you may also be able to recall stories to share with your family and friends, which is a great way to bond and pass on your valuable knowledge.
Even if your past holiday memories are not sources of joy, it doesn’t mean that you cannot make new, more positive memories now. Beyond hanging out with your loved ones, you might also try giving back to your community through volunteer work. Many churches will host Christmas lunches to support unhoused or low-income persons, which can be a great way to spread kindness and cheer during the holidays. If you knit, crochet, or sew, making warm hats and scarves for those in need may also be an option. No matter the cause you choose to support, generosity will always be in season!
It is important to note that it is natural to experience feelings of loss, disorientation, and sadness due to past memories. Allowing yourself to experience these emotions as they come and accepting them can actually help you to feel better in the long run. Consequently, holding back these feelings and forcing yourself to feel cheerful can lead to a worse mental state. This is not to say that intense, intrusive, or highly distressing thoughts should be ignored—far from it. If your negative emotions are disrupting your day-to-day life, you may have a more serious condition. If you are struggling, always seek help through qualified mental health professionals.
Overcoming Financial Stress
The final common challenge that we have touched on is financial stress. As mentioned above, holidays often place a lot of emphasis on gift giving; but sometimes, the best thing you can give is the gift of time spent together with those you love. While opulent displays of affection are often praised, holidays should be about connecting with others—try not to lose sight of that.
However, this doesn’t mean that you can’t give gifts! Giving someone a personalized present can be a great way of showing how well you know them and how much they mean to you. If you enjoy giving presents to your family and friends, but are working within a tighter budget, try creating handmade gifts from things you already have. This also has the bonus of making your gifts feel more special, since putting in the work to create a gift can make it much more meaningful than simply buying it. If you do any kind of crafting—knitting, crocheting, painting, sewing, etc—try putting those skills to use! Chances are that you already have a stash of supplies, meaning that you’ll be less likely to have to spend lots of money. If you do need to get some supplies, try to create a budget and stick to it. Get creative if you have to!
Even if you don’t consider yourself an artistic person, there are several other ways that you can make your own gifts. For example, if you have a few special recipes that you’d like to pass on to your children or grandkids, you could make a recipe book or set of recipe cards. With an unused notebook, some cardstock, or simply a hole-punch and some yarn, you might just start a family cookbook that will be passed down for generations to come. And, if you have some artists in the family, you could turn the process of making the recipe book into a bonding moment by inviting them to add their own personal touches. Another example is gifting propagated plant cuttings, if you happen to have a green thumb. Though these gifts may not seem like much, they might just turn into cherished family heirlooms down the line.
Another big money-sink during the holidays is travel. If the majority of your family lives out of state, you may be expected to make the trek out to see them, which can quickly eat up your budget. Whenever possible, having family members visit you instead of going out to visit them can greatly lower the strain on your wallet. However, this isn’t always possible. Maybe your child just had a kid of their own and doesn’t want to travel with a newborn, or your nieces have other plans that they can’t cancel; there are many, many reasons why things might not work out. If your budget is tight, joining family events virtually can ease financial stress while still giving you that crucial connection with your relatives. While this isn’t the ideal situation, it can help to give you a bit more money to work with. If you play your cards right, this might even help you to make the trip out to see them in person next year.
Otherwise, doing some odd jobs to make some extra money can give you some more financial freedom. Many online sites have lists of potential earning opportunities for older adults, including this one by Indeed. Some highlights from this list include tutoring, working as a consultant, and doing freelance work with your past experience. If you have retired, you likely have a fairly impressive resume with lots of work experience—why not put it to work?
Final Remarks
While they can be beautiful and full of joy, the holidays can be a tricky time of year—especially as an older adult. Whether you are dealing with loss, social isolation, tighter budgets, or anything else, it is important to understand that you are not alone. There are many ways in which you can start to turn things around, like participating in accessible activities, going virtual, and switching your focus from presents to presence. In the end, remember: the holidays are not about the food, or the gifts; they’re about building connection, giving love, and spreading cheer so that everyone can feel it.
