As individuals age the need for long-term care often increases. Sometimes this might be foreseen, as a condition might gradually worsen and the ability to plan ahead for care needs can be made many months or even years in advance.
There may be other circumstances where the need isn’t obvious until the need is desperate. This might be due to a condition that has been hidden or downplayed by your parents, or by a condition or accident that calls for much more intensive care needs almost overnight. Sometimes, a need might have been obvious but it was ignored because the idea of next steps seemed scary, both to you and your parents.
Regardless of how you came to be here, it’s now time to seriously consider seeking out long-term care for your parents. Put aside any shame or embarrassment you or your parents might feel, as there’s nothing to be ashamed or fearful about. Long-term care is about providing a better quality of life for your parents so they can go through this next chapter of life with as much comfort and love as possible.
Before we touch on some of the critical signs you should look out for in your parents, it might be useful to take a look at what long-term care actually means. There are a few different care options for older adults in need of support, but long-term care is generally more extensive than other forms of care.
Long-term care generally refers to the kind of care when your parents would be receiving some kind of support 24 hours a day. This might happen within a dedicated facility, or at home, where a nurse or care worker would always be present to see to the needs of your parents. Of course, each situation is unique so your parents might not require round the clock care, but most of the time that is what long-term care refers to.
Even if your parents are in a situation where they require this kind of care, it doesn’t mean that they are incapable of doing anything for themselves. In fact, it’s important for everyone to have as much independence as possible, even when dealing with a serious medical condition. Long-term care simply means that there is always someone who is available to help with the tasks they need help with, or if an unexpected issue presents itself. If you do find that you are in need of support, Eldercare Locator is a good place to start. Now, let’s take a look at 5 critical signs to look out for when it comes to your parents and the need for long-term care.
1.Unable to Keep up with Demands of Daily Life
Some of the tasks that you need to take care of on a daily basis might seem effortless to you, but as someone ages, certain activities might become painful and sometimes completely impossible. This might be due to a particular medical condition, but also might be a normal part of the aging process. While healthy lifestyle choices, such as a good diet, adequate hydration, lots of exercise and a consistent sleep routine can help delay some of the natural consequences of aging, there’s a limit to how much you can stop a natural process. Plus, even if your parents engage in healthy habits, every person is going to respond to aging differently, and some may simply have a more challenging time than others. As the Mayo Clinic points out, there are many changes that happen to the body as one ages. They include a loss in bone density, cognitive decline, changes to your cardiovascular system, loss of elasticity in your bladder and eye sensitivity, among many others.
Because of these changes, and potentially the addition of a medical condition, it’s not uncommon for many older adults to struggle with daily tasks. Here are a few to look out for.
- Difficulty bathing or using the toilet. You might notice that your parent has stopped bathing due to fear of falling, or because they’ve already suffered some injuries in the bath or shower. They might also struggle with getting on and off the toilet and with wiping themselves appropriately afterwards. You might also notice some mess left behind as they either might not notice or might not be capable of the physical exertion required to clean up after themselves.
- Trouble maintaining their home. You might frequently find that your parents’ home is unclear and unusually cluttered. It’s very likely that the garden and yard is also unkempt, with overgrown grass and clogged gutters.
- Unable to cook. Cooking may have become too difficult or scary, and your parents may not be getting adequate nutrition.
- Unable to run basic errands. It may have become too difficult for your parents to tend to errands such as grocery shopping or visiting the bank.
Of course, it’s always important to see the bigger picture. Everybody falls behind on housework or mowing the lawn from time to time, but if you notice a consistent pattern then it’s probably time to seek out some support.
2.Deteriorating Mental Health
Everyone has a bad day now and then, but if your parent is dealing with debilitating mental health issues, or are not able to appropriately manage their condition on their own, then it may mean that long-term care is the best option.
Some older adults may struggle with issues such as depression or anxiety, and it may come as a surprise to those individuals who have never struggled with those kinds of issues in the past. Many older adults might find themselves struggle due to feelings of isolation as they age. This might be due to declining health that makes socializing uncomfortable, the loss of their peers, or even moving to a new community where they don’t know as many people. Injuries and illness can also bring up feelings of anxiety and depression that can sometimes be difficult to move away from.
There also might be situations of mental health conditions that are no longer manageable as some conditions may worsen with age. Medical News Today tells us that individuals with Bipolar disorder might experience more frequent mood swings, and longer and more severe episodes, and it might be more difficult to treat than it was when someone was younger.
If you do notice that your parents’ mental health appears to be worsening don’t jump to the worst conclusion. It may be that some lifestyle or medication adjustment is all that is needed to rectify the issue. But if there is no improvement, or if your parents are resistant to treatment, then it may be time to think about bringing in a professional who is trained on how to handle older adults with mental illness.
3.Frequent or Unexplained Injuries
Falls are one of the common causes of injury to older adults, according to the National Institute on Health. And Injury Facts tells us that in 2023 over 40 thousand Americans over the age 65 died from falls, and another 3.5 million were hospitalized. Many end up with life-altering injuries as a result of falls.
While falls are unfortunate, there are times when an older adult is able to bounce back and continue with life as it was. But if their fall has resulted in permanent injury, or falls are becoming a frequent occurrence, then it may no longer be safe for your parents to live on their own. Sometimes even the fear of falling may result in an older adult needing care, as the fear may overtake their life, resulting in them withdrawing from social activities and staying at home alone most of the time.
Your parent may also frequently display signs of bruising, which could be a result of a serious medical condition that needs attention.
If you find that your parent is often injured then it’s important to get help to make sure they are safe. And, make sure that you are aware of the people in your parents’ lives. Unfortunately, older adults may be more vulnerable to abuse, and so while any injury is a serious matter to attend to, it’s extra important to make sure that it didn’t result from any kind of physical abuse.
4.Memory Loss and Confusion
As you read earlier, it’s perfectly normal for people to experience cognitive decline as they age. Even now you might find that you sometimes struggle to remember the name of someone you know, or suddenly blank on the lyrics to your favorite song.
However, there’s a big difference between an occasional memory lapse and not being able to find your way back home when you go out for a walk.
Dementia and Alzheimer’s disease are both serious conditions that can cause severe confusion, memory loss and major shifts in personality. While sometimes the progression is slow, and someone may be able to live independently or just with family support for a period of time, eventually there will be the need for a full time caregiver, and in many cases it might be the safest option to have your parent in a secure area, as dementia or Alzheimer’s patients can sometimes wander off and put themselves in grave risk due to their inability to find their way back home or effectively communicate their predicament to a stranger.
Although these are different conditions, they do share a lot of the same symptoms, which may include:
- Difficulty with focus and problem solving.
- Frequently forgetting details, names and places that should be familiar to them. They might get lost in their own neighborhood or not remember the names of close family members or what they did the day before.
- Mood swings and personality changes. You might noticed they seem depressed and withdrawn or aggressive and agitated.
- Poor judgement. They may make decisions that seem odd and out of character for them, even reckless.
- Language issues. They might frequently stumble over their words or even forget certain words entirely.
- Issues with concepts. You might notice that they have a hard time grasping complex concepts, or even having trouble following the thread of a basic conversation.
There may be some situations where an older adult is struggling with memory or confusion due to another medical condition or medication, so in some cases these symptoms may be temporary. But, even if that is the case it’s always worth paying a visit to the doctor to rule out other possibilities and to find a way to deal with the issues your parents are facing.
5.Sudden or Complex Illness or Injury
Finally, we have sudden or complex illnesses. While any of the signs on this list can be difficult and upsetting to deal with, a sudden illness or injury can be particularly difficult to deal with as there’s no way to prepare for it. With the previous signs there’s often a lead-up to the need for long-term care. There’s a good chance you’ve already spoken with your parents or other family members about the need for care in the future, and you might even already have a solid plan in place.
But some things you simply can’t prepare for, like a heart attack, a serious accident or stroke. These situations often require a drastic change in lifestyle and the support of full-time care. While younger adults may be able to bounce back, depending on the circumstances, for older adults the chances of there being complications as their immune systems aren’t as robust as they used to be, and healing may take a lot longer or be impossible.
Because of this, a serious medical event can often mean that an older adult can no longer live without support.
Of course, nobody wants to be faced with a challenge like this, and discussing this with your parents may be difficult and heartbreaking. Depending on the situation they may not even be able to make the medical choice on their own, which means that you are faced with the daunting task of setting up care that’s in their best interest.
Even if an injury or illness isn’t sudden, there are some situations that may become too complex for your parents to handle on their own. Keeping track of medications, exercises and routines may prove too much to handle, and having the support of a nurse or caregiver can take some of that pressure off of your parent’s’ plate
Broaching the conversation about long-term care can often be sensitive, so be sure to be kind and patient with your parents. Clearly lay out your concerns, and, if possible, it might be a good idea to discuss this topic with their medical provider present, as sometimes hearing concerns from a doctor might be easier for your parents to deal with than hearing it from their own children.
It’s never easy, but hopefully this will mean a transition to a better quality of life for your parents so you can focus on having a healthy and enjoyable relationship with them during this period of their lives.
