As individuals age the need for long-term care often increases. Sometimes this might be foreseen, as a condition might gradually worsen and the ability to plan ahead for care needs can be made many months or even years in advance. 

There may be other circumstances where the need isn’t obvious until the need is desperate. This might be due to a condition that has been hidden or downplayed by your parents, or by a condition or accident that calls for much more intensive care needs almost overnight. Sometimes, a need might have been obvious but it was ignored because the idea of next steps seemed scary, both to you and your parents. 

Regardless of how you came to be here, it’s now time to seriously consider seeking out long-term care for your parents. Put aside any shame or embarrassment you or your parents might feel, as there’s nothing to be ashamed or fearful about. Long-term care is about providing a better quality of life for your parents so they can go through this next chapter of life with as much comfort and love as possible. 

Before we touch on some of the critical signs you should look out for in your parents, it might be useful to take a look at what long-term care actually means. There are a few different care options for older adults in need of support, but long-term care is generally more extensive than other forms of care. 

Long-term care generally refers to the kind of care when your parents would be receiving some kind of support 24 hours a day. This might happen within a dedicated facility, or at home, where a nurse or care worker would always be present to see to the needs of your parents. Of course, each situation is unique so your parents might not require round the clock care, but most of the time that is what long-term care refers to. 

Even if your parents are in a situation where they require this kind of care, it doesn’t mean that they are incapable of doing anything for themselves. In fact, it’s important for everyone to have as much independence as possible, even when dealing with a serious medical condition. Long-term care simply means that there is always someone who is available to help with the tasks they need help with, or if an unexpected issue presents itself. If you do find that you are in need of support, Eldercare Locator is a good place to start. Now, let’s take a look at 5 critical signs to look out for when it comes to your parents and the need for long-term care.

1.Unable to Keep up with Demands of Daily Life

Some of the tasks that you need to take care of on a daily basis might seem effortless to you, but as someone ages, certain activities might become painful and sometimes completely impossible. This might be due to a particular medical condition, but also might be a normal part of the aging process. While healthy lifestyle choices, such as a good diet, adequate hydration, lots of exercise and a consistent sleep routine can help delay some of the natural consequences of aging, there’s a limit to how much you can stop a natural process. Plus, even if your parents engage in healthy habits, every person is going to respond to aging differently, and some may simply have a more challenging time than others. As the Mayo Clinic points out, there are many changes that happen to the body as one ages. They include a loss in bone density, cognitive decline, changes to your cardiovascular system, loss of elasticity in your bladder and eye sensitivity, among many others. 

Because of these changes, and potentially the addition of a medical condition, it’s not uncommon for many older adults to struggle with daily tasks. Here are a few to look out for. 

• Difficulty bathing or using the toilet. You might notice that your parent has stopped bathing due to fear of falling, or because they’ve already suffered some injuries in the bath or shower. They might also struggle with getting on and off the toilet and with wiping themselves appropriately afterwards. You might also notice some mess left behind as they either might not notice or might not be capable of the physical exertion required to clean up after themselves. 
• Trouble maintaining their home. You might frequently find that your parents’ home is unclear and unusually cluttered. It’s very likely that the garden and yard is also unkempt, with overgrown grass and clogged gutters. 
• Unable to cook. Cooking may have become too difficult or scary, and your parents may not be getting adequate nutrition. 
• Unable to run basic errands. It may have become too difficult for your parents to tend to errands such as grocery shopping or visiting the bank. 

Of course, it’s always important to see the bigger picture. Everybody falls behind on housework or mowing the lawn from time to time, but if you notice a consistent pattern then it’s probably time to seek out some support. 

2.Deteriorating Mental Health

Everyone has a bad day now and then, but if your parent is dealing with debilitating mental health issues, or are not able to appropriately manage their condition on their own, then it may mean that long-term care is the best option. 

Some older adults may struggle with issues such as depression or anxiety, and it may come as a surprise to those individuals who have never struggled with those kinds of issues in the past. Many older adults might find themselves struggle due to feelings of isolation as they age. This might be due to declining health that makes socializing uncomfortable, the loss of their peers, or even moving to a new community where they don’t know as many people. Injuries and illness can also bring up feelings of anxiety and depression that can sometimes be difficult to move away from. 

There also might be situations of mental health conditions that are no longer manageable as some conditions may worsen with age. Medical News Today tells us that individuals with Bipolar disorder might experience more frequent mood swings, and longer and more severe episodes, and it might be more difficult to treat than it was when someone was younger. 

If you do notice that your parents’ mental health appears to be worsening don’t jump to the worst conclusion. It may be that some lifestyle or medication adjustment is all that is needed to rectify the issue. But if there is no improvement, or if your parents are resistant to treatment, then it may be time to think about bringing in a professional who is trained on how to handle older adults with mental illness. 

3.Frequent or Unexplained Injuries

Falls are one of the common causes of injury to older adults, according to the National Institute on Health. And Injury Facts tells us that in 2023 over 40 thousand Americans over the age 65 died from falls, and another 3.5 million were hospitalized. Many end up with life-altering injuries as a result of falls. 

While falls are unfortunate, there are times when an older adult is able to bounce back and continue with life as it was. But if their fall has resulted in permanent injury, or falls are becoming a frequent occurrence, then it may no longer be safe for your parents to live on their own. Sometimes even the fear of falling may result in an older adult needing care, as the fear may overtake their life, resulting in them withdrawing from social activities and staying at home alone most of the time. 

Your parent may also frequently display signs of bruising, which could be a result of a serious medical condition that needs attention. 

If you find that your parent is often injured then it’s important to get help to make sure they are safe. And, make sure that you are aware of the people in your parents’ lives. Unfortunately, older adults may be more vulnerable to abuse, and so while any injury is a serious matter to attend to, it’s extra important to make sure that it didn’t result from any kind of physical abuse. 

4.Memory Loss and Confusion

As you read earlier, it’s perfectly normal for people to experience cognitive decline as they age. Even now you might find that you sometimes struggle to remember the name of someone you know, or suddenly blank on the lyrics to your favorite song. 

However, there’s a big difference between an occasional memory lapse and not being able to find your way back home when you go out for a walk. 

Dementia and Alzheimer’s disease are both serious conditions that can cause severe confusion, memory loss and major shifts in personality. While sometimes the progression is slow, and someone may be able to live independently or just with family support for a period of time, eventually there will be the need for a full time caregiver, and in many cases it might be the safest option to have your parent in a secure area, as dementia or Alzheimer’s patients can sometimes wander off and put themselves in grave risk due to their inability to find their way back home or effectively communicate their predicament to a stranger.

Although these are different conditions, they do share a lot of the same symptoms, which may include:

• Difficulty with focus and problem solving.
• Frequently forgetting details, names and places that should be familiar to them. They might get lost in their own neighborhood or not remember the names of close family members or what they did the day before. 
• Mood swings and personality changes. You might noticed they seem depressed and withdrawn or aggressive and agitated.
• Poor judgement. They may make decisions that seem odd and out of character for them, even reckless. 
• Language issues. They might frequently stumble over their words or even forget certain words entirely. 
• Issues with concepts. You might notice that they have a hard time grasping complex concepts, or even having trouble following the thread of a basic conversation. 

There may be some situations where an older adult is struggling with memory or confusion due to another medical condition or medication, so in some cases these symptoms may be temporary. But, even if that is the case it’s always worth paying a visit to the doctor to rule out other possibilities and to find a way to deal with the issues your parents are facing. 

5.Sudden or Complex Illness or Injury

Finally, we have sudden or complex illnesses. While any of the signs on this list can be difficult and upsetting to deal with, a sudden illness or injury can be particularly difficult to deal with as there’s no way to prepare for it. With the previous signs there’s often a lead-up to the need for long-term care. There’s a good chance you’ve already spoken with your parents or other family members about the need for care in the future, and you might even already have a solid plan in place. 

But some things you simply can’t prepare for, like a heart attack, a serious accident or stroke. These situations often require a drastic change in lifestyle and the support of full-time care. While younger adults may be able to bounce back, depending on the circumstances, for older adults the chances of there being complications as their immune systems aren’t as robust as they used to be, and healing may take a lot longer or be impossible. 

Because of this, a serious medical event can often mean that an older adult can no longer live without support. 

Of course, nobody wants to be faced with a challenge like this, and discussing this with your parents may be difficult and heartbreaking. Depending on the situation they may not even be able to make the medical choice on their own, which means that you are faced with the daunting task of setting up care that’s in their best interest. 

Even if an injury or illness isn’t sudden, there are some situations that may become too complex for your parents to handle on their own. Keeping track of medications, exercises and routines may prove too much to handle, and having the support of a nurse or caregiver can take some of that pressure off of your parent’s’ plate

Broaching the conversation about long-term care can often be sensitive, so be sure to be kind and patient with your parents. Clearly lay out your concerns, and, if possible, it might be a good idea to discuss this topic with their medical provider present, as sometimes hearing concerns from a doctor might be easier for your parents to deal with than hearing it from their own children. 

It’s never easy, but hopefully this will mean a transition to a better quality of life for your parents so you can focus on having a healthy and enjoyable relationship with them during this period of their lives. 

It can be difficult to come to the realization that your parents need help. As a child you likely saw your parents as superheroes, capable of tackling anything they came up against. But while your parents might act like superheroes, they are still mortal, which means they may need some help as they age. 

While many people might feel uncomfortable talking about the need for care, it’s a very normal part of aging. In fact, accepting help can help make the quality of life for your parents better, and give them the opportunity to give their attention to what matters most to them, instead of being bogged down with the stress of tasks that are no longer manageable for them.

But how do you know when the time is right to get help? You don’t want to push the subject when it’s not needed, but you also shouldn’t wait until a situation has gotten out of control to finally seek help. In a perfect world you’re already having regular conversations with your parents about their health and you have a robust care plan in place…But, just in case you don’t (which, let’s be honest, is probably the case for most people), let’s talk about five questions to ask you or your parents to figure out if it’s time to look for professional care. 

1.Can You Give Them the Support They Need?

Many adult children end up caring for their parents in some way as they age. This might range from coming over to help set up their TV all the way to being a full time caregiver. Of course, for many others that help falls somewhere in the middle, maybe running errands or taking care of some housework. However, when you notice that your parents seem to be requiring a more intensive level of care it’s important to ask yourself whether or not you are capable of providing it to them. 

Now it’s very important to think about what you are able to provide, not what you wish you could provide or what you wish you wanted to provide. You might wish you had more time to spend with them, or more money to spend on them. You might even wish that you wanted to be a full time caregiver but know deep in your heart that doing so would make you resentful and burnt out. Knowing those things doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you someone who is going to be able to make the best choice for your parents’ care and for your own relationship. 

Even if you genuinely want to provide more intensive care for your parents, your current life simply might not allow you to be able to provide that care in the way that they need. Your job, children or other commitments might make that impossible, or financial constraints might make it too difficult to justify the amount of time that caring for them would occupy in your life. 

Of course it’s important to be involved in your parents’ lives, but you need to figure out exactly what you are capable of providing to them in this moment, and if their needs are greater than what you can give then it’s time to seek out professional help. Remember, getting your parents’ help is about improving their quality of life. And, if getting help takes stress away from you then it’s giving both you and your parents the chance to simply spend time together, away from any looming obligations. Too often, adult children take on the role of caregiver and quickly end up burnt out. By being honest with yourself you are making the best choice for everyone’s health. 

2.Has Their Cognitive Function Changed?

Have you had suspicions about your parents’ cognitive health that you haven’t fully investigated? Or perhaps one of your parents has been officially diagnosed with a condition such as dementia or Alzheimer’s, and you’re really started to see symptoms manifest in a way that is making it difficult for them to continue on with their daily routine. 

While every kind of illness or injury comes with its own unique struggles, cognitive decline can be one of the most challenging conditions for families to deal with. It can be devastating for children and other loved ones to feel like the person they love and know is slipping away from them. And, for the older adult who’s dealing with the decline it’s a constant roller coaster of confusion, anger, sadness and many other emotions. Because, while steps can be taken to make someone with cognitive decline more comfortable, it’s not a reversible or curable condition. Except in the rare circumstances where medication or an injury is causing a temporary cognitive condition, most people are going to continue to deteriorate. 

Of course, if your parent is forgetting an occasional name or misplacing the remote control this doesn’t mean you need to rush into home care. It’s normal for everyone to forget a detail or get confused about something every now and then. And, even if someone is still in good cognitive health, having memory issues is a natural part of aging that will happen with everyone to varying degrees. But, a condition like Alzheimer’s does eventually require a high level of care, so it’s important to look out for signs of a more serious condition, such as:

• Frequently forgetting names and words
• Forgetting how to do tasks they’ve done countless times before
• Getting lost in an area that should be familiar to them
• Leaving the stove on
• Loss of confidence
• Asking the same question over and over, or constantly retelling the same stories

If you are noticing any of the above signs then it’s important to get your parent to a doctor so that they can be evaluated. It’s very likely that they are in need of some support in their home.

3.Are There Cleanliness Issues?

Another question to ask yourself is whether or not you’ve noticed that your parent or parents are struggling with maintaining themselves or their living space. 

It’s very common for cleanliness or personal hygiene to become more difficult as a person ages. The reasons for this can be wide ranging and complex. Let’s talk about what might be going on with cleaning and aging. 

Physical Limitations

Very often, older adults might be dealing with an injury or chronic condition, such as arthritis, that makes certain tasks, such as vacuuming or scrubbing particularly painful and difficult. This might mean that a task such as cleaning a bathroom, which used to take 30 minutes, is now a long arduous activity that some individuals eventually start neglecting as it becomes too difficult to maintain. 

Many older adults might also find that their home is simply too big for them and the process of cleaning and maintaining their yard and garden is too overwhelming.

Mental Health

Mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety can often cause individuals to withdraw from social activities and develop apathy towards their daily routines. The thought of cleaning or bathing might make them so distressed or feel so numb that they avoid those activities completely. 

Similarly to the question about cognitive function, you shouldn’t rush to conclusions about your parents if you notice that there are dishes sitting in the sink occasionally, or if you see a stain on their shirt. However, there is cause for concern if you notice the following:

• Constant mess and clutter. The kind of clutter where your parent is at risk of tripping, or a mess that could cause health issues like mold or that might attract pests. 
• Your parent seems to have gone so long without washing that they are beginning to emit an odor
• Your parent seems to constantly be getting sick, particularly with digestive issues
• Your parent always has dirty hair and fingernails
• The house has maintenance needs that are being neglected to the point of being dangerous, such as wobbly railings or leaks that haven’t been addressed

Depending on the needs of your parent professional help might just look like getting them a housekeeper or someone to do a bit of yard work and basic house repair. Professional care can take many forms, and having someone come in to help with cleaning might be just what your parent needs to live a more comfortable and happy life. 

4.Are Your Parents Safe?

This is a question to ask alongside any of the other questions on this list, but it’s important enough that it warrants its own entry. Your parents might be resistant to the idea of getting help, but at the end of the day what is most important is that they are safe. So, if you can’t answer yes to this question then it’s almost a no-brainer that the time has come for professional help.

Aging Wisely has brought up some excellent questions to ask in relation to safety, which we’ll talk about along with some other important points to consider. 

• Are there guns in the house? Of course that’s not an issue if your parents are of sound mind and the guns are stored securely, but if they are dealing with a lot of confusion or poor mental health then easy access to guns might be of some concern. 
• Can your parents handle an emergency? Your parents might be fine making their way through a regular day, but in the case of an emergency like an extended power outage or a flood, do you feel confident that they would be able to navigate their way through that situation unscathed? 
• How is their mental health? Many older adults already struggle with isolation, and, if that’s combined with poor mental health the combination could have serious consequences. 
• Are my parents capable of completing risky tasks? Does your dad insist on climbing onto the roof to clean the gutters, or does your mom teeter precariously on chairs to reach the top of the window sills? While this might have been scary even in your youth, with limited mobility those tasks might now be downright dangerous. 

Every situation is going to be unique, so only you can know whether or not a certain activity is going to be a danger to your parents. But keeping your parents away from harm is one of the major reasons why you are likely thinking about seeking out professional help. So, ask yourself this question, and if you come to the realization that they are not safe then it’s time to sit down for a serious conversation about next steps.

5.Are Your Parents Dealing with A Serious Medical Issue?

Last, but not least, you should ask if your parent is dealing with a serious medical issue. And, in addition, whether or not the medical issue in question has become too difficult to handle on their own. 

Many older adults might deal with some kind of condition, or even several, as they age. This is often a common part of growing older, and many conditions are easily manageable with appropriate care and attention. However, some conditions may eventually grow too difficult to manage, or your parent might not be open to dealing with their condition in the way they’re supposed to, which means an initially small issue has now grown into something much more concerning. 

For example, over 70% of adults in the US who are over the age of 60 experience high blood pressure, also known as hypertension. Hypertension is often manageable with lifestyle changes, medication or a mixture of both. However, left untreated, or if treatment is mismanaged, hypertension, as outlined by the Mayo Clinic, can lead to stroke, heart attacks, heart failure, blindness, sexual issues, and many many more risks.

The above would be the risks associated with someone who is not able to appropriately manage their condition, but even if your parent is doing everything they can to control their medical condition, it may have become too much for them to handle on their own. If they have extreme mobility limitations then they may need help with feeding, bathing or using the bathroom, which is likely not something you’ll be able to commit to unless you are willing and capable of becoming their full-time caregiver. 

Bringing in professional care will ensure your parent is getting the attention their medical condition requires, which means you can focus on quality time spent together. 

These questions should help empower you to make the best decision for you and your loved one. It can be difficult to make the decision to seek out care, but just remember that you are doing it in the best interest of your parent, and it’s about giving them the best quality of life imaginable. If you are unsure of where to start when it comes to seeking out care, you might consider talking to someone at a local center for older adults, or by checking out the National Institute on Aging for further advice.

It’s common for many older adults to require care as they age. Illness, mobility, cognitive decline or some combination of all of the above can make continued independence difficult, which means that home care is often a natural step in the aging process. 

This transition can mean a better quality of life, as an older adult might finally get the kind of care they have been needing for some time, but that still doesn’t mean that the transition is easy. Many older adults are reluctant to accept help, and their adult children might feel uncomfortable bringing up the topic, which means care is delayed, often making the problem worse. 

Yes, it can be awkward to start the conversation, but it will feel a lot worse if you put it off due to discomfort, and then end up in a situation where your parent is unable to do the things they love because a health issue gets to be out of control due to lack of attention. That’s why it’s so important to know what signs to look for when it comes to your parent needing homecare. Of course, this isn’t an exhaustive list, and it’s important to listen to your gut if you notice something that concerns you, but the following are some common warning signs that your parent may be in need of some support. If attended to quickly, you could give them a chance at a longer, more enjoyable life. 

Trouble Maintaining Their Home 

The first sign we’ll talk about today is noticing that your parent seems to be having trouble keeping their house in order. Often this presents as noticing that there seems to be a lot more clutter around then there was before. There might be tripping hazards on the ground, and you might find that they are holding onto a lot of items that you might classify as garbage.

You might also notice that services that were once spotless are suddenly covered in grime or dust. Your parent might struggle to vacuum or mop, and so the floors are scattered with dust and crumbs. Bathrooms and kitchens might be particularly messy. 

Trouble maintaining a house will also likely affect the grounds as well. Yards might be completely overgrown, and gutters might become clogged. 

Of course, trouble with maintenance can come with a wide range of problems. Clutter can increase the risk of falls, as outlined by Amada Senior Health. Excess belongings can also create a fire hazard. While dirt and grime could be extremely detrimental to one’s health. And trying to landscape while experiencing a decline in health can easily lead to serious injury.

 Maintaining a home is hard work for anybody, so it’s not surprising for someone to struggle to keep up with it from time to time. But, if you notice it become an ongoing issue, particularly if it wasn’t something they had a problem with before, then it’s worth asking a few questions to find out if your parent needs some help. 

Personal Hygiene Issues 

Along with trouble maintaining their home, some older adults struggle to keep up with their personal appearance. Here are some things to look out for:

• Inconsistent bathing. You might notice that your parent doesn’t seem to be particularly clean. Their hair might be constantly greasy, their body could be giving off an odor, and they might even mention how much they don’t like taking a shower or bath. They might even talk about their fears surrounding bathing, telling you that they’re not doing it out of a fear that they’ll slip and fall while in the tub. 
• Trouble dressing. You might find that your parent is always in the same outfit, or seems to have trouble with putting on clothes properly. 
• This could look like zippers left upon, buttons not lined up, clothes that are inside out, or clothes that seem to constantly have stains on them. 
• Trouble with using the toilet. You might notice urine or feces consistently left on the toilet seat, or a smell that suggests your parent is struggling to clean up after they use the facilities. 

Poor Mental Health

Often, the signs on this list are triggered by mental health, or the decline of some physical abilities can often trigger mental health issues. Either way, poor mental health can often play a part in your parent needing homecare. 

The World Health Organization tells us that 14% of people over the age of 60 deal with a mental health condition. While some of these conditions might be longstanding, such as a diagnosis of bipolar disorder or OCD, other conditions might only appear in older age. 

Older adults are often going through a quick succession of life transitions, such as loss of income, a change of residence, losing a spouse or other loved ones and a feeling that the world is moving on without them. Coupled with the agism that is so common in our society, it is very easy for older adults to struggle with depression and anxiety. 

While homecare can be a good solution to combat some of these symptoms, if you see that your parent is struggling with their mental health then it also might be worthwhile to recommend they see a therapist. Total Life offers therapy for a variety of issues, and telephone services can be covered with Medicare. 

A few symptoms to look out for that might signal a poor mental state include:

• Emotional outbursts. This might look like fits of shouting or crying, and might even be counteracted by being in an unusually chipper mood. 
• Lack of interest in the things they used to love. 
• Social isolation. Constantly refusing or cancelling on plans. 
• They are tired all of the time and seem to be having trouble sleeping. 
• Trouble focusing.

Frequent Falls 

As you likely already know, falls are one of the leading causes of injuries for older adults. The National Safety Council tells us that 1 in 4 older adults fall each year, millions are hospitalized, and over the past 10 years deaths from falls by older adults has increased by 60%. This is understandably concerning data, so it’s no surprise that frequent falls by your parents might signal that need for some extra support. 

There are some changes that can be made to an older adult’s home that can help minimize the likelihood of a fall taking place. These might include installing grab bars in the bathroom and near staircases. Reducing clutter and securing rugs is another good way to lessen the chance of a fall. However, sometimes an older adult has simply gotten to a point where it’s unsafe for them to be alone for an extended period of time. You don’t want to worry about your parent lying alone at home, unable to move or call for help. So, if you notice that your parent is falling a lot or seems to constantly have bruises and other unexplained injuries, then it’s probably time to start looking into securing homecare. 

Decline in Adequate Nutrition

For some older adults, the major sign that they need help is that they stop being able to provide themselves with adequate, nutritional meals. You might go over to their house and find nothing in the fridge or cupboards. You might also find that they’re eating the same thing each day, often something that is sugary and lacking in nutrients. 

There can be a variety of reasons for why an older adult might struggle to cook for themselves, and usually this is not going to be an isolated issue. But, of course, we know that getting a healthy diet full of nutrients and protein is crucial for good health, so warning bells should go off for you as soon as you notice that your parent is struggling to provide themselves with adequate nutrition. 

The National Institutes of Health reminds us about how serious poor nutrition can be for our health, leading to potentially life threatening conditions such as heart disease, stroke and type 2 diabetes. A poor diet can also greatly increase your chance of obesity and deficiencies such as anemia. Lack of proper nutrition can also cause chronic inflammation and poor sleep. 

Of course, a few cupcakes or chips every now and then doesn’t mean your parent has a poor diet, but if you notice that they are eating a lot of fat, sugar, red meat, simple carbs or junk food, or simply not eating enough, then it might be time to intervene. 

Missed Medication 

A sign for some older adults that they need some help is when they start missing medication. Most people have a lapse in memory from time to time, but missing medication can have very serious consequences, so seeing this sign in your parent should not be taken lightly. There are a couple of tips that people can use to remember to take their medication, so if your parent is newly on medication and is having trouble remembering, here are a few ideas:

• Calendar alerts. You can set daily reminders on your phone or computer, or even write it on a physical calendar that you might hang on the wall. 
• Set an alarm. You can arrange for a clock or a phone to go off at the exact same time each day to remember to take medication. Depending on the device you use you might even be able to attach the alarm to a specific song.
• Pill box. A pill box labeled with each day is a great way to remember to take your medication, and also eases the stress of what to take on which day if you are on several different types of medication. Put the pill box somewhere you can’t miss, like on the dining room table so that you remember to take it when you sit down to enjoy a meal. 

If you’ve tried all of the above tricks with your parent and they are still struggling, or if they have been taking medication with no issues for many years and are suddenly having consistent problems, then that is the time to consider other options. 

Confusion, Memory Issues 

The final sign we’ll talk about today is when you notice that your parent seems to be struggling with confusion or memory issues. Cognitive decline, dementia and Alzheimer’s disease can not only be distressing for you and your parent, but left unattended to, these conditions could have fatal consequences. If unattended, someone with one of these conditions might wander off and not be able to find their way home, get into a car accident, leave the stove on, and any other number of upsetting and preventable accidents. Not every moment of confusion or forgetfulness means you have to panic, but if you have noticed it to be an ongoing issue then it is definitely something you should encourage your parent to get checked out immediately. Doctors have very quick and simple tests that should let you and your parent know whether or not they should be concerned, so it’s well worth the visit. And, if your parent has been experiencing memory or confusion issues and it’s not one of the above diseases, then at least you will have ruled that out and can focus on pursuing another diagnosis. Here are some things to watch out for:

• Confusion about time, places or people. Someone might forget the route home that they’ve walked a thousand times, or not be able to recall the name of someone they’re close to.
• Changes in personality. Someone might seem to be having a lot of mood swings, or be particularly agitated or paranoid. They might be quick to anger and seem to be keeping secrets. 
• Struggles with finding their words. Someone might appear to constantly be searching for words.
• Repetitive questions. Someone might ask the same thing or need to be shown how to do something simple over and over again. And they might not be aware that this is something they have already asked you about, and approach it as though they are doing so for the very first time. 
• Misplacing objects. You might notice that someone is putting objects in odd places, like a jar of pickles that’s stored in the linen closet, or a book that’s been stuffed into a shoe. 

Again, not every symptom of memory loss or confusion is going to mean a major cognitive issue. There are many medications or illnesses that could cause temporary conditions. However, even if temporary, these are symptoms that could cause serious issues, and it’s a good idea to get your parent to a doctor to find out what’s going on. 

Hopefully you’ve already talked about care plans with your parent and have regular check-ins about their health. If not, then what better time to start than now? It’s always a good idea to address something sooner rather than later. It might feel embarrassing at first, but once it becomes a routine that awkwardness soon fades. Remember, this is about getting them help so they can live a long and happy life that involves spending more time with you!