It’s no secret that life is a series of transitions. From baby to toddler, toddler to child, and child to teenager until eventually, we become senior citizens. A major part of these transitions involves accepting some responsibilities while giving up others. Today, I want to talk about the transitions involved with pet ownership and getting older.
As anyone who’s ever had a pet can tell you, being a “pet parent” can be one of the most rewarding and heartbreaking experiences a person can embark on. The rewards come in the form of companionship, not to mention the unconditional love that a pet gives, along with their unrelenting “cuteness.” The heartbreak comes, of course, from knowing that our relationships without furry, feathered, or scaly friends will eventually come to an end.
In some cases, you may have a treasured family pet you had long before reaching old age. Or, like many parents, you may decide to get a pet later in life after your kids have flown the coop, much like my own parents did. Within a few years of my moving out, my parents adopted a chihuahua named Lola, then a year later, another chihuahua named Prince, before finally adding a turtle named Marvin to the household. As a side note, I’m more afraid of their little dogs than I have ever been of pit bulls.
Regardless of a pet’s origin story, at some point, the older people in our lives will have to give those animals up, which is one of the hardest things a person can decide to do. So, today, I’d love to go over some ideas of how to help the senior in your life give up their pet, how to make the transition as easy as possible, and what services may offer additional help.
Why Seniors May Have To Give Up Their Pets
Humankind has long had a relationship with animals. Historically, we have kept pets to protect our homes; in other cases, it was for companionship and sometimes both. Whether for protection or mental health, the love we have for our pets is very real and deep. A recent report by Forbes tells us that the majority (66%) of US Households keep pets. Meanwhile, about a quarter of American pet owners are baby boomers.
The unfortunate truth is that there may come a time when an older person in your life will have to give up their pet. Not because they want to, but instead because life has forced the decision upon them. And like anything in life, there could be a variety of reasons for this, a few of which I would like to highlight.
Change in Living Situation
One common reason seniors have to give up their beloved pets is that their living situation changes. Suppose an older person currently lives in a pet-friendly house or apartment with their cat. In this case, they eventually have to move into an assisted living facility such as a retirement home. Of the over fifty-five million senior citizens in the United States, it’s estimated that about three million will at one point live in Nursing Homes. While some retirement homes do allow pets, the truth is that many still don’t. As a result, mum, dad, or another older person in your care will have to part with their pet.
Another example may be when an older person moves in with a family member, such as one of their adult children, instead of a nursing home. However, even in this situation, issues can arise if the senior moves in with someone who lives in an apartment or building that doesn’t allow pets, or if someone in the household has allergies that would be triggered by the animal.
Too Old To Care For the Pet
There may also come a time when the older person in your life is simply too old to take care of their pet. Let’s face it, some pets require a lot of work. Things like cleaning after them, food, exercise, and vet visits, to say the least, take a lot of time and effort. As we get older, we just don’t have the same amount of energy to devote to a pet as we did in our youth. And as much as we love them, pets can be too much work for a person to maintain when there are so many other factors of aging at play. When this happens, it can be hard for the pet to get the care it needs, leading to suffering and further guilt felt by the aging “pet parent,” pained to know that while they are doing all they can, it’s simply not enough. This is especially true if the pet itself is getting to an age where it also needs additional attention.
Too Sick To Care For a Pet
Medical setbacks can also be to blame for a pet not getting the care it might need. If the senior in your life is spending a lot of time at the hospital or is too ill to properly take care of their pets at home, it may be time to find the pet a new home.
The Cost Of Caring For a Pet
Something else to consider are the very real costs involved in pet ownership. This can, of course, vary by pet, since a turtle, a bird, and a dog all have different needs. But if an older person has a very limited income, spending over a thousand dollars per year on a dog can be an additional amount of stress weighing on an aging person’s mind. It can be even more of a challenge if the pet inevitably gets sick and requires expensive surgery or medication.
In situations like the aforementioned, pet owners typically have two options: find a more accommodating living arrangement for the pet or another, far more dreaded solution. It’s important to remember that a bit of extra leg work to find the right home may be best for everyone. This way, the pet gets the chance to live in a loving home where their needs are attended to.
Talking to a Senior About Rehoming Their Pets
As our loved ones age, we have to prepare ourselves for the fact that we will have to have more than one uncomfortable talk with them. In some cases, it may be discussing Medicare or mental health. Perhaps one of the hardest discussions to have with an older adult is when to give up their pet.
If you’re a pet owner, you probably already understand how hard that transition is. If you aren’t, then it’s vital to keep in mind that many people love their pets as much as they do human members of their family. In some cases, a pet is an older person’s sole companion and the recipient of all of their love and affection. In 2022 alone, Americans spent $136.8 Billion on their pets, so clearly, the loss of a dearly beloved friend can be utterly crushing, especially if the older person had little to no say in the matter.
I can’t stress enough how important it is to show compassion and patience in this situation. A change this traumatic can wreak havoc on an older person’s mental health. As such, it’s only natural for the older person to feel depressed.
When you are ready to chat about it, try to meet with them in person in a relaxing environment so the older person will be at ease. Turn off your phone’s ringer to ensure you won’t be disturbed, then be honest about the situation. Explain to them why this big change has to happen as clearly and compassionately as you can. Maybe the new home the older person is moving to doesn’t allow pets, or perhaps you and the older person have realized the pet has become too much work for them to handle.
If it is a scenario when the older person can no longer care for a pet and it’s putting the pet at risk to stay where it is, explain that as well. Sometimes, a senior giving up their pet is best for them both. This way, the pet can get the love, help, and attention it needs with a new owner. You can also explain that no longer having a pet may even free its former owner of certain responsibilities. For example, if the older person decides to take a trip they have always dreamed of, they won’t have the additional stress of finding someone to look after the pet while they are gone.
So, in some ways, giving up their pet, as hard as it may be, can be a blessing in disguise. You can also let them know that you will explore all the options available and offer to allow the older person to be involved in the decisions moving forward. This way, they don’t feel as if it’s happening to them. After all, the senior you’ll be talking to is an adult who has made their own decisions for decades.
Be Ready to Listen
It’s equally important to listen to what the older person in your life has to say. Even if it’s negative, allow them to express their feelings openly and honestly. Don’t rush them, judge them, or cut them off when they are speaking. Give all of the time they need to process this impending change.
Don’t be Afraid To Reach Out For Additional Help
It’s perfectly natural to need additional help in situations like this, so don’t be afraid to contact a therapist for phone counseling or therapy online when talking to an older person about giving up their pets. Looking after the mental health of seniors going through difficult transitions is vital in a situation like this.
Tips and Services To Help Rehome Pets
When the time has come to officially rehome a family pet, there are several options you and the older person in your life can choose from. It’s perfectly natural for the older person to ask you, their caregiver/loved one, to take the lead. After all, it’s a painful experience, and this sort of thing can cause anxiety and other feelings of negativity. So, when exploring these options, keep the older person in the loop.
Friends & Family Members Looking For A Pet
If you or the person in your care has a family member, such as a child or grandchild looking to adopt a pet, this can be a great option, especially if the family member in question already has an existing relationship with the pet. It will make the transition between households a lot easier for everyone.
Keep in mind that pet love isn’t a one-way street. When separation happens, it will affect the animal just as deeply as their former owner; this was a person with whom the animal spent the majority of their life. If the animal goes to someone they know, there will be some sense of familiarity there, and may even afford the opportunity for the former owner to visit the pet.
Community Bulletin Boards
If the senior in your care happens to be a church or other local program member, using the community bulletin boards can also be a great option for finding new homes. It may take little more than putting up a poster with information on the pet and how to contact you as there is almost always someone looking to adopt a pet. Websites like Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace are potential options for finding new potential “pet parents.” Remember, it is always important to do a background search on the stranger you are thinking of rehoming the pet to, so you can make sure that the pet is going to a good home where it will get the love and care it needs.
Rehome With Love, and Rehome By Adopt A Pet
If neither of the above mentioned community-based options work, then reaching out for help is always possible. You can ask your local vet if they have recommendations or you can reach out to businesses like Rehome With Love, which is a service dedicated to helping people rehome their pets. Their staff offer support during the rehoming process and help your pet find the best home possible. Another similar service is Rehome by Adopt A Pet. Both websites will allow you to create a profile for your pet in the hopes of finding a potential new home. One of the best parts of both services is that they allow you and/or the older person in your life to meet the pet’s potential new owner so you can make sure it’s the right fit, and more importantly, so you aren’t left in the dark about your pet’s fate.
Conclusion
As we’ve discussed, there are several reasons why senior citizens may have to rehome their pets. While it may be one of the hardest and most painful transitions to make, it may also be necessary for both the pet and the owner.
A treasured family pet can be such a huge part of our lives the loss of one leaves a hole inside us that can be felt for decades. It’s important to be caring, compassionate, and patient if that time comes for the older person in your life, and remember there are resources that can help make the process smoother and easier on everyone involved.
