Caregiving is one of the most honorable vocations, but it is also one of the most exhausting. The amount of care and attention you have to put into another person can quickly become overwhelming, and many caregivers find themselves struggling with stress, anxiety and burnout. That’s why it’s so important to take your mental and physical health seriously. The following tips are ones that are commonly recommended by medical professionals all over the world, and should help you stay focused, calm and present.
Don’t Give Too Much of Yourself
While of course you want to be the best caregiver imaginable, it’s important to know your limitations. Most caregivers aren’t trained to provide mental health support, and trying to help a senior with a serious condition like depression when you’re unqualified to do so could not only lead to distress for yourself, but you could also endanger your client by giving them bad advice on how to manage their mental health issues. It’s better for everyone if you leave some topics up to a professional, such as a senior-specific mental health therapist or counselor.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you can’t engage with your client on difficult topics, but if they’re dealing with a mental health condition that you don’t have experience working with, they’re processing a major trauma, or you notice that you’re taking their issues home with you, then it’s time to think about how you can better serve them and yourself. You’re going to show up best to your job when you’re feeling good, so don’t feel bad for setting boundaries. They’re necessary so that you can be the best version of yourself at work.
Eat Well
Tale as old as time, but it’s no secret that eating a healthy diet is a way to reduce anxiety, stress and depression, as well as helping to keep you physically healthy. Harvard Health references a study that shows that eating a traditional diet such as the mediterranean, which is high in fruits, vegetables and healthy fats like olive oil, could work to reduce stress by 25-35%!
Of course, it can be hard to make changes to your diet, especially if you have a busy schedule and find it difficult to find time to cook, but there are small changes you can make over time to help you reach your food goals. Instead of promising yourself that you’re not going to eat any junk or sugar (unrealistic to start with, especially if you don’t have a very healthy diet at the moment), why not commit to eating a vegetable with every single meal? That way, you’re not giving up on anything, but you’re adding on something that’s good for you. That might look like adding an avocado or tomato slices to your toast with breakfast, or having some carrot sticks and dip with lunch. One of the best ways to eat healthy is by doing it in a way that you enjoy, so don’t cut yourself off from the foods you love. Try making a simple cheese sauce to enjoy on your broccoli, or add a little bit of honey to your roasted vegetables. The win is eating a healthier diet overall, not abstaining from anything sweet or deep fried. Plus, you’ll be more likely to stick to a new diet if it includes some of your favorite foods.
Another good recommendation for keeping a healthy diet is to up your protein intake, which helps you stay full and satisfied for longer. This might mean adding a chicken breast or salmon to your salad, or making a tasty stir fry with tofu. When we aren’t getting enough protein it tends to make us hungry, which is why you might be snacking so much in between meals. If it’s available to you, it’s always a good idea to seek out the help of a nutritionist who can help you meal plan and make sure you’re making choices that are healthy and sustainable for you.
Get Moving
It might seem counterintuitive to move when you’re exhausted, but frequent exercise actually gives you energy! If you’ve been struggling with stress and exhaustion then a little movement might be just what you need. While we know that exercise is good for our cardiovascular health, The National Institutes on Health outlines how exercise helps our mental health by reducing cortisol levels and balancing out our leptin and ghrelin levels, which helps keep our appetite and stress levels in check. You might have noticed that when you’re stressed you don’t sleep well, you don’t feel like exercising, and you’re more likely to reach for unhealthy foods. It’s all a cycle, and it can be hard to get out of it. But, the good news is that once you start working on improving one of those habits, the benefits of one will spill onto the others. If you work on getting a bit of exercise then there’s a good chance you’ll want more nourishing food, and there’s a good chance you’ll start getting better sleep, because, once again, it’s a cycle!
Just like with your diet, it’s always better to start small when implementing new habits. Instead of trying to go to the gym at 6 am every day, why not start by parking your car a block away from work, or taking the stairs at the subway station? Or you might commit to doing a five minute yoga video every morning, or walking around the block when you get home from work. A little bit of movement is better than no movement, and, once you’re comfortable in your new routine you can slowly start adding on to your exercise until you’re getting at least 30 minutes a day of moderate exercise (the recommended minimum amount by health agencies all over the world).
Something else to consider is that daily exercise doesn’t need to be completed in one chunk to be effective. If you can get in a few quick walks and also do a 10 minute strengthening video at the end of the day then that still counts as your daily recommended amount of activity. And, for many people like you who have busy schedules, that might be a much easier way to get half an hour of exercise into your day than if you were to try to find the time to do half an hour all at once.
Finally, remember the point that some exercise is better than none, so even if you only get a few minutes of movement, that’s still going to be better for your mental and physical health than if you were to do nothing at all.
Make Time for Loved Ones
It can be easy to neglect your social life when you’re busy and overwhelmed, but, just like with exercise, making time to see your loved ones will likely leave you with more energy than if you simply go to and from work every day. Human beings need connection with others, that’s one of the reasons why your job is so important. Even though you might be assisting the senior you care for with many household and medical tasks, a large part of your job is providing companionship to someone who otherwise might feel quite isolated.
While you might feel a strong connection with your client, and hopefully get a lot out of the relationship, it’s still work, and it’s unlikely that you are able to share details of your life with the senior you care for in the same way that you might share that information with your family or friends.
Of course, you don’t want to create more stress for yourself by adding in high-pressure social commitments, so be thoughtful about the activities you choose. You might invite a friend even over for a low key dinner of takeout pizza and a movie. Perhaps you could ask someone to join you for a morning yoga class or walk in the park on the weekend, that way you’re getting in some social connection while also checking exercise off your list. Even a quick phone call to catch up about your life and the life of your loved one can be very beneficial. Simply hearing the voice of someone you love and being able to talk about some of the struggles you’ve been facing can be very helpful.
Think about activities that are going to be relaxing and enjoyable for you. If that’s a night out at a rock concert that’s totally fine, but just be sure you’re choosing activities and people who fill your cup, instead of draining it.
Time Alone
Just as time with friends and family is important, so is time alone. You need to focus on yourself to be sure you’re really listening to your own needs. Sometimes we are so focused on others that we miss what our body is trying to tell us, so give yourself a bit of time each week to check in with yourself. This might be five minutes in the morning to journal, or drawing yourself a relaxing bath to soak in. Depending on your circumstances you might even be able to have an entire night that’s focused on you where you can make yourself a delicious meal, and finally watch that tv show everyone has been talking about. But, if you have dependents and aren’t able to spend so much time on your own, simply getting out for a short walk or taking your coffee outside to enjoy it in peace will also give you a similar boost of calm.
Again, it’s important when contemplating any kind of self-care routine that you think about what is best for you. Some people love to meditate to relax, while you might prefer to go to the shooting range. There’s no right or wrong way to spend time unwinding, so if someone works for someone else but doesn’t work for you there’s nothing wrong, it’s just a good idea to find something else to focus on. You time is about doing what YOU want.
Get Grateful
It’s normal to complain from time to time, but is life really that bad? A gratitude practice, where you spend time every day to think about and write down everything you’re grateful for has been shown in a study to have a very positive effect on stress levels, even a month after the study ended! Gratitude journaling was found to be even more impactful than traditional expressive journaling, which is also known to be helpful for mental health. Gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring sadness or depression. It’s important to talk about difficult situations and events with loved ones or a mental health professional. Gratitude is the simple act of looking at your life and the moments and connections you are grateful for. It can even be a useful tool for reframing negative thinking. For example, you might say “I am so exhausted from the gym, that workout was so hard and I hated it,” which sounds fairly negative. If, instead, you were to look at that situation through a lens of gratitude you might say something like, “Wow, I can’t believe how strong I’m getting. That workout was really hard but I lifted so much more than I could have two months ago! I’m so proud of myself and grateful for my body.”
Humans are hardwired to be negative, but trying to approach situations from an attitude of gratitude can have a profound effect on you and the people around you, so why not give it a go?
Turn on That Stand-Up Routine
Surprise, surprise, laughing makes us happy! The Positive Psychology People share that smiling and laughing can make you happier, less stressed, and can even make you a better decision maker – something we could all benefit from in our day to day lives. So turn on your favorite tv show or comedy routine, call up that hilarious friend, or watch videos of animals doing adorable things. And, in some bizarre but encouraging news, you don’t even need to find something funny to get the benefits! You can fake laugh or even put your mouth into a smile when you don’t feel like it, and overtime you will still see results (and likely start laughing or smiling for real because how silly is that?!)
Just as with gratitude, don’t force positivity or gratitude on yourself or others when it’s not the right time. It’s important to allow sadness, grief and depression to be acknowledged and given space. But, if you’re finding yourself a little stressed at the end of the day and just need to turn your day around, why not try a few “hahahas?”
It can be hard to prioritize yourself sometimes, so don’t be hard on yourself if it takes you a bit of time to get into a new routine of selfcare. Remember, doing a little bit of something good is better than not doing it at all!
