Caring for a loved one can sometimes feel like an all consuming task. You might remember the last time you had a night out or managed an extra few minutes to focus on yourself. But it doesn’t have to be that way. While the older adult you care for certainly deserves your attention and care, you will actually be a better caregiver if you prioritize what will make your life easier and happier. And the good news is that implementing these changes doesn’t involve any major shift in your routine. Instead it’s small consistent changes that can transform your day to day life and make caregiving feel just a little bit more manageable. A fresh new year is the perfect time to commit to something new, right? So, let’s get started!
Plan the Day
Who doesn’t love a schedule? All right, maybe you don’t, but you’re about to! WebMD tells us that planning out our days can, drumroll please, lower stress, improve our sleep and even give us more time to do the things we enjoy, which, all of the above combined, should help to contribute to an overall much happier you. Sounds pretty good, right?
It’s understandable if you’re someone who loves to improvise their day, but where that can sometimes end up is leaving you feeling like you’ve wasted time when you wish you could have set up a coffee with a friend, worked out, or spent time meal prepping. Scheduling can help you to see everything that you need to get done so that you can see where there is space left to do the things you enjoy, and yes, that might mean scheduling in time to not have a schedule!
Caregiving adds a lot to your plate, so if planning your day wasn’t something you did previously then it can make a world of difference now that you have taken on this enormous commitment.
There are many ways you can incorporate scheduling into your life. You might like to set reminders on your phones for appointments, gym classes, and any must-do items. Or, you might like to put aside a few minutes each night to write out your plan for the next day. Depending on your needs you might even want to get hyper specific and put the timing of each task in your calendar. This is not to be restrictive, but inside open your eyes to what time you have available to you. Sometimes a small task might seem insurmountable, but if you schedule it into your day and make a note that the task should only take ten minutes then it might not loom as large in your mind as it did when it was just an idea in the background.
Set an Intention
The idea of setting an intention might seem similar to the idea of scheduling. But, instead of simply laying out the things you’re going to do, an intention is the why behind what you’re doing. An intention is all about the feeling you want to feel or the goal you want to achieve. For example an intention might be to care for your body with kindness. With that intention in mind you might choose to do some movement that feels good to you, like stretching, dancing or going for a run. It might look like making a filling and delicious meal that is also nutritious. It’s having a bath and reading a book before bed so that you get a good sleep, instead of staying up to binge watch a show or going out for drinks even if you know it’ll make you feel sick the next morning.
Manulife offers some great tips on how you can set good intentions. And the article also points out how beneficial intention setting can be to our mental health. While caregiving can certainly be rewarding, it can also bring up a lot of feelings of anger, sadness and resentment, which are important emotions to feel, but not always pleasant ones to live by. Setting intentions can help you focus on the kind of life you want to live and how you want to conduct yourself as a caregiver to your loved one. Experiment by intentions by trying out an intention you want to focus on for one day. From there you might want to expand into intentions for the week or even ones you want to live by.
Get Your Zzz’s
Everybody is guilty of staying up past their bedtime every now and then – especially adults! And, when you have incredibly full days from caregiving, work, caring for other family members and social commitments, it wouldn’t be surprising if you want to have some time to yourself to unwind and have a drink and play video games or watch the hottest new Netflix film. Unfortunately, lack of sleep is extremely detrimental to your health, and can also make focusing and emotional regulation in your day to day life very difficult.
Mayo Clinic tells us that adults should be sleeping for a minimum of 7 hours a night, and for many adults, especially women, that number is likely to be higher.
It’s hard to be the best version of yourself when you’re dazed and cranky from lack of sleep. And if you’re exhausted you are far more likely to make a careless mistake or exercise poor judgment. So, if you want to make your days as a caregiver easier, then prioritize getting a good night’s sleep every night. This can be done by establishing a healthy sleep routine. The following are some tips on how to get the recommended hours of sleep:
- Sleep in a cool, dark room.
- Try to avoid using any screens for at least an hour before bed.
- Use an eye mask or ear plugs to ensure adequate darkness and quiet for sleep.
- Don’t eat a large meal before going to bed. If you’re hungry try having something light like oatmeal or a piece of toast.
- Wash your sheets regularly.
- Try to avoid drinking alcohol or caffeine too close to bed. Caffeine can keep you up, and alcohol can inhibit the amount of quality sleep that you get.
Eat Well
This one will be another shocker, but it turns out that eating well can improve our moods! Now, of course, nobody is feeling good if they eat boiled chicken and steamed vegetables for every meal – the bodybuilders are lying to you! But, if you are eating a well rounded diet with lots of fruit, vegetables, protein, healthy fats and whole grains, then the impact that it can have on your physical and mental health can be quite pronounced!
The Mental Health Foundation reminds us of some great nutrition tips, they include:
- Eat regularly. Our bodies need to be fueled, especially when we have busy days with a lot of physical activities. Have high protein, filling meals with some healthy snacks, or eat several smaller meals throughout the day.
- Stay hydrated. Hydration aids with food digestion and can also keep us regular. Try to get most of your hydration from water and herbal teas.
- Add more vegetables, fruits and grains to your diet. Often people think about what they can take away from their diet, but instead what if you think about what you can add. Sure, chicken nuggets might not be the healthiest choice, but if you have it with a good helping of vegetables, some cheese and brown rice then suddenly you have a much more well rounded meal.
Something important to remember when thinking about your diet is that you are only going to be able to stick to a healthy diet if you enjoy it. So don’t try to cut out all sugar or fried food all at once, especially if it’s something you love. Instead, look to the example of the chicken nuggets above and see what you can add that can make a meal more nutritious and satiated. Eating well will not only improve your caregiving, but all areas of your life.
Incorporate Breaks
You might be your loved one’s caregiver, but that does not mean you are the only one who can provide care. If you want to ensure longevity in your role as a caregiver, and make your days easier, then you need to learn how to ask for help and take a break.
Caregivers can often feel like they’re completely alone and that they have no one who can help them, but generally that is very far from the truth. And, you might be surprised at how much of a difference just an hour or two away can make! Sometimes even 15 minutes is enough to give you a reset on your entire day.
The most difficult part of learning to take breaks is learning how to ask for help. This might be from family members, friends and coworkers. It can be nerve wracking at first, but once you do it once it gets easier. Here are a few things to keep in mind:
- Has anyone already offered help? If so, they are probably the best people to turn to first.
- What is most helpful to you, and who is best equipped to provide it? If you want to have 15 minutes alone to enjoy your coffee in the morning, then asking a family member you live with, or a neighbor to watch your loved one is probably the best choice. If you’re looking to spend an hour or two away then you’ll want to rely on someone you trust who is mature and reliable.
There are other ways people can help simplify your day without asking them to take on the care of a loved one. You might ask someone to run some errands for you, like groceries or dry cleaning, or maybe a friend takes your kids out for a movie so that you can have some time at home. Any help that can take some work off your plate is going to make your day easier. So, don’t be afraid to ask for help or accept it when it’s offered!
Talk to Someone
Everyone needs someone to confide in. While some people like to suppress their emotions and believe that it makes them appear strong, forcing ourselves to hide what we’re feeling is never going to end well. Feelings have a way of making themselves known to us, and, if we push them down for long enough then they’re more likely to pop up at undesirable moments when we really don’t have time to deal with them!
Healthline tells us that repressing our emotions can lead to depression, anxiety and even physical symptoms such as digestive issues and fatigue – not exactly what you want when you’re dealing with heavy emotional and physical work all day!
If you’re not used to talking about your emotions then therapy might be a good place to start, as a therapist can give you some tools to help you acknowledge and recognize how you’re feeling. But talking to a loved one can also be helpful. You might even ask to set aside five minutes of the conversation to simply express your feelings and worries. Do this without any judgement on yourself and without any expectation of how your loved one can help the situation (unless you want advice). Releasing in this structured way can make you feel safe, and also gives you an outlet. If you know you’re going to have five minutes to express yourself each day then you might not obsess about those feelings as much the rest of the time. However, do be mindful that if you’re experiencing something really heavy or traumatic then a professional might be a good person to talk to, as a friend or family member might not be able to support you in the way you require.
At the end of the day, just letting those feelings out is a good choice, so if you don’t have the opportunity to talk to someone even writing down your thoughts has been shown to have a positive impact on mental health.
Incorporate Movement
The final suggestion we’ll make today is to find a way to incorporate movement into your daily routine. While the recommended amount of exercise is at least 30 minutes of moderate activity each day, there is no standard of exactly what that exercise should be. While there should be some combination of cardio and strengthening, the world is your oyster within that, so what do you love? Maybe you want to throw on your favorite playlist and bust a move, maybe you love walking through your local park, or perhaps your local rec center has some interesting classes on offer. Maybe your movement is building a shed outside or planting a garden – it all counts and it will all help to contribute towards better health and a cheerier day!
You’re always learning new things as a caregiver. So, while this list should give you some good ideas to start with, you are likely to continually find new ways to improve and streamline your life and routine. You’re the only you, so do what feels good. You don’t have to do something the same way as anybody else just because it works for them. Lean into what feels best for you, and that’s where you’ll likely have the most success.
