It’s natural for seniors to require a bit of help as they age. Bodies start to slow down, and it can become more and more difficult to recall memories, even for someone who stays healthy and active.
Sometimes disease rears its ugly head and speeds up the aging process, making it difficult to think clearly, or rapidly restricting mobility. For those individuals, it’s likely they’ll need help even sooner than others.
But for those who are otherwise healthy, there are several habits one can adopt to potentially extend the ability to be independent. Even if struggling with another condition, these are all practical tips that can benefit anyone of any age.
If you’re an adult child who is concerned about the wellbeing of your parent, and want to help them live as independent a life as possible, then here are ways you can support them. And hey, this is good advice for yourself as well. That, or give this article to your kids for them to read when the time comes.
Puzzles
If you don’t like puzzles…too bad, because you’re about to! Puzzles have been shown by experts via Reader’s Digest to improve memory recall, increase discipline, and just generally get our brains going. Our brains enjoy being active and learning, and challenging them with something complex like a puzzle is like giving food to our minds. Puzzles are a great activity to introduce to your parent because there are so many different kinds, and it’s something that you can do together or they can do on their own.
If the idea of puzzles truly isn’t appealing to you or them, don’t worry – there are so many different kinds of puzzles that there is sure to be something that’s a great fit. Here are a couple of ideas:
- Jigsaw puzzles – this is the traditional kind of puzzle you might think of when you say the word, ‘puzzle.’ You spend time putting together pieces to make a picture, and then celebrate because that was hard! You can also get 3D puzzles, which can make fun decorations around the house and are also good for bragging rights. Jigsaw puzzles come in a variety of sizes so start small, maybe with a 100 piece one, to see if you enjoy it.
- Word puzzles – this can cover a wide variety of puzzles. They might include word finds, crosswords, or games where you’re given a combination of letters and have to come up with as many different words as possible within a certain time limit.
- Rubik’s cube – a classic 3D puzzle where you have to organize a colored cube until all sides have the same color. A delightful challenge.
- Memory games – this might take the form of cards in pairs that you have to remember, or trying to memorize a series of objects in front of you after only a few seconds of looking at them.
There are so many other puzzle options to choose from. Try checking out your local thrift store, or going onto neighborhood community groups to see if anyone has some they’re getting rid of. There are also lots of free word games online, and most grocery and book stores carry books that have crosswords and sudoku. Before long it will likely be something that both of you look forward to doing each day.
Get Active
A great way to encourage independence is by helping your parent’s mobility. There’s a ton of evidence that supports how beneficial exercise is to everyone, but especially to seniors who start losing muscle mass as they age. Encourage your parent to do some strength training, either through at-home videos, their local community center, or with a private trainer. Strength training will help them retain muscle, which can make them more mobile and can increase the chances of a faster recovery if they get injured.
Along with strength training, any increase in exercise is good. Go for a walk together, or make a date to go for a weekly swim. Sometimes someone just needs a good goal to work towards, so maybe you challenge each other to walk a certain number of steps each day, or to try as many different classes at the gym as possible. You could even make bingo style cards for your activities.
Of course, if you are encouraging activity in your parent then you quite literally should be walking the walk. Nobody wants to be preached to by somebody who doesn’t follow their own advice, so get out there. Exercise is not only great for your physical health but also your mental wellness, so it’s a win win for everybody.
Learning
As we learned from puzzles, our brains love learning, but it’s not just puzzles that benefit us. Any type of learning is good for our brains, so find out what your parent is interested in learning and help facilitate that. Maybe they want to try out a woodworking class, or have always dreamed of learning Italian. Although nothing can stop Alzheimer’s disease, it is thought that learning is one of the best ways of slowing symptoms down, as evidenced by the story of this gentleman, on CBC News, who decided to enroll at university after receiving his diagnosis.
If you’ve ever worked out a lot and then stopped for a period of time you might notice how stiff you are when you go back to the gym for the first time. Suddenly you’re not able to reach your toes like you used to, and you can’t press the same weight as before. A similar thing happens to our brains if we’re not learning new things and providing stimulation. Of course, this doesn’t mean your parent needs to enroll in a degree (although if they want to and they have the means then that’s great!), but going to a class, watching documentaries, or even taking up something like crocheting is a great way to get their brain going and hold on to that longevity.
Medical Appointments
A great way to increase your parent’s chance of remaining independent is by ensuring they stay up to date with their medical needs. This means going to regular doctor check ups, staying on top of medications, and making sure they follow up with a doctor or specialist if they have any concerns or need further clarification on a diagnosis.
It’s also a good idea to talk to them about their mental health. Many seniors are fairly private about mental issues, and might keep symptoms of depression or anxiety a secret. Encouraging them to speak to a mental health therapist or counselor is a great way to keep their stress levels down and better able to focus on the more enjoyable parts of life. Often cost or finding the transportation to a mental health appointment can be a barrier to treatment, so taking them to Total Life’s website, where they can find out more about therapy over the phone, and Medicare coverage, might be helpful in terms of getting them to take the first step towards better health.
Find Out What They Need
Stress can be very detrimental to one’s health, and sometimes seniors may hide struggles they are having from their family due to shame and embarrassment. This leads to unnecessary stress and anxiety and can eventually lead to much more serious health conditions that could have been avoided if the initial struggle had been attended too much sooner.
To avoid this, try sitting down to chat with your parent to find out if there is anything they are struggling with. This might be something like keeping up with the maintenance of their home, or keeping track of online payments. When broaching this topic, make sure you do so in a comfortable and private place so they feel safe, and make sure to keep any judgement out of your responses. You’re only asking these questions out of a genuine desire to support them and their needs.
Then, once you find out what the issue is, you can take steps together to address them. Maybe you need to set up automatic payments for them, or help them find a handyman or gardener to take care of some of their needs. Some of the things might even be easy for you to take care of, if it’s something you feel capable and willing to take on.
We all need help from time to time, and asking for it doesn’t take away from our independence. By finding out what your parent needs now, it might mean they need less help overall in the future.
Good Food
Just like with exercise, it’s always great to lead by example. If your parent doesn’t have the best diet, it might be time to encourage them to start leaning into healthier habits. Many people don’t want to change their lifestyle, so if you believe their diet is truly one to be concerned about then a good place to start might be with a doctor or nutritionist who can talk through the very real concerns associated with a poor diet, such as type 2 diabetes and heart attacks.
Again, this might be something that you tackle together. Challenge each other to add one vegetable to every meal, or to skip the sugar in your morning coffee. Little good habits can help feed into bigger ones.
One of the biggest setbacks people face when trying to eat healthier is to attempt to cut out all junk from their diet, which often means removing everything they enjoy. Instead, try focusing on overall healthier habits, while still making time for an occasional hamburger or drive-thru ice cream. This way you can both meet your goals, while not getting hangry I the process!
Community Involvement
Some seniors struggle with a lack of purpose after they retire. That’s why volunteering can be a great way to get them engaged with their community and help them feel useful and invigorated again. Talk to your parent about what kind of causes they’re interested in, and what sort of time commitment they’d like to make, and together you can look into food options for them.
If volunteering is not their thing, they might instead look into trying a class or going to an event at their local seniors center. That’s another great way to help them build up a support network around them, and gives them something to look forward to in their week. Even one outing a week can do wonders for someone’s mental health, and often that snowballs into other positive habits.
Check Yourself
Sometimes adult children worry too much. They see their parents getting older, and struggling with activities that used to come easy to them. This can lead to children overburdening themselves and deciding that their parents are no longer capable of doing anything, but is that really true? Are you doing things for your parents that they don’t actually need help with? Have you let their complacency or anxiety about certain tasks get the better of you and is your helpfulness actually enabling them to become less capable?
This is never something that anybody would want to admit, but it can happen. Now most of the time this comes from a genuine desire to be helpful and supportive to someone you love, but taking away someone’s agency isn’t helping them in the long term.
Of course, you never want to take away support that your parent genuinely needs, but take a look at what you’re already doing for them, and ask yourself if your parent really can’t take out their garbage, or pick out groceries from the store. If it’s an activity that is unsafe for them or they’re unable to do then of course keep supporting them, but if it’s something you could be a little more light handed with then it might be a good idea to take a step back. It might also be a great idea to have an honest conversation with them. Tell them you still want to help them, but you want to make sure that they stay vibrant and active, and so there might be some activities they need to push themselves to participate in.
Remember, it’s always a good idea to practice what you preach. If your parent is struggling, and they see you doing well because you are taking care of yourself, engaging in your community and constantly learning new things, then it’s more likely that they will be inspired to do the same. It might sometimes feel difficult to incorporate all of these habits into your life, but if you start now then you’ll be better set up for your own independence when you get to your golden years.
