The job of a caregiver can be very rewarding. You get to know someone on a different level than you would at almost any other job. You know their hopes and dreams, their fears and abilities. Many caregivers work with people during their final years, and are sometimes the last person to spend time with them before their death. It’s a deeply intimate, sometimes heartbreaking, but fulfilling job.
Although some positions are only needed for a short period of time, many caregivers are assigned to the same senior for an extended period, and thus get to know them very well. As someone so entwined in a senior’s life, it’s natural that a caregiver would be one of the first people to notice if something seemed different about the senior they care for’s mental state. And, in many cases, a caregiver might be morally or even legally obligated to seek help for the senior they care for if they have serious concerns regarding their mental health.
Of course, in an ideal world, you would never have to get to that place. So, let’s look at some of the ways that you as a caregiver can foster an environment where the senior you care for’s mental health can thrive.
Respect
“R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me.” First of all, who doesn’t love that song? But second, Aretha Franklin has got a great point. Respect can look different for everyone, so find out the ways in which the senior you care values being treated. Many seniors struggle with being infantilized by the people around them. This is understandably frustrating and dehumanizing. Just because a person might struggle to complete some of the tasks that used to come easily to them doesn’t suddenly mean that they are incapable of understanding conversations or doing any kind of physical activity. Treating someone with kindness and the expectation that they are competent is just basic human dignity, but there are also other ways that it might be important to demonstrate respect for certain people.
Depending on the needs of your job, you might be required to attend to delicate matters, such as bathing a senior or helping them in the bathroom. While this might be a necessary part of your job, this doesn’t mean you should go about it without any discussion. Ask your client how you can make this task the most comfortable for them. Maybe there are elements they can do, and would prefer to do, themselves, or there might be moments you could afford them some privacy. Even though it’s a job to you, it’s a life to them, and providing them with choice and autonomy around these tasks is so important.
There also might be matters that you might not even consider are delicate for some clients. This might be helping them with a task simply because you can do it faster. While you might be doing this out of kindness and a desire to do something efficiently, this could deeply offend your client, because they could see it as an insult to their abilities. This is an easy problem to avoid by simply having a conversation about it. It might feel awkward at first, but by opening up the lines of communication surrounding respect, it will make your relationship much smoother and enjoyable in the long run.
Encourage Good Habits
It can be easy for seniors to neglect healthy habits, especially if they are sinking into a bad mental state. Many seniors are dealing with major life transitions that come with the loss of their peers and loved ones, moving to a new city, or figuring out what to do with so much time off after retirement. While these life transitions don’t always translate into poor mental health, for many seniors it’s easy to fall into a state of depression and anxiety, which often leads to or is precipitated by the failure to engage with healthy
habits like good sleep, diet and exercise.
Now, you might not want to hear this, but one of the best ways to encourage healthy habits in someone else is to lead by example. No one wants to be lectured on healthy eating by someone who orders fast food every day, or told to go for a walk by someone who lies down on the coach to binge watch a TV show as soon as they get home at the end of each day. Plus, these habits are called healthy for a reason: they really are good for you! For caregivers it’s extremely easy to struggle with mental health themselves, so practice the same habits you want to see in your clients. Incorporate daily exercise into your routine, do some healthy meal planning, and try to maintain a good sleep schedule. Not only will this support your own mental health so that you can be your best self when you show up for work, but it will also give you more validity when talking to the senior you care for.
Engaging in healthy habits doesn’t mean you have to give up every single indulgence in your life, it simply means having them in moderation. It’s important to still enjoy life! So, when preparing food for your clients make sure to go for healthy options, but still make time to have an occasional ice cream. Get out for a beautiful walk in nature, or do daily stretches, but still sit and enjoy that TV show together, or spend time playing checkers. Nobody wants to feel like they’re being scolded, so don’t chastise your client if they haven’t been sticking to the exercise routine or the meal plan you want them to. Instead, make it an open dialogue about why these habits are important. And again, don’t forget to bring your own struggles into the conversation. Not only will this humanize you, but it could also help you. Maybe the two of you can go on a healthy eating challenge together! Or you might commit to doing aquafit or a walk in the park a couple of times each week. You see? This can really benefit the both of you at the same time.
Have Honest Conversations About Mental Health
The tides are turning, but for a long time it was considered taboo to seek help for mental health, or to even admit to something like anxiety in the first place! Nowadays, it’s, thankfully, perfectly normal to see a therapist, and many people are public about their emotional and mental struggles. However, for some seniors, struggles with mental health might still be seen as something shameful and embarrassing. In fact, the senior you care for might even try to hide any issues they might be facing, out of fear of judgment or that it might require them to seek help that they don’t want.
Because of this, it’s important to establish a relationship of trust around these topics as early as possible. If it’s a regular part of your relationship, then it might not feel as scary for the senior you care for to bring up that they’ve been feeling off lately. As Health Management says, “It’s good to talk.”
Make sure to check in with the senior you care for every day. Not only will this practice make it easier for you to notice if something is amiss, but it can also allow you to adjust your treatment of the senior you care for depending on how they’re feeling. If you know they didn’t get a good sleep last night then you might be a bit more gentle with them when it comes to their exercise, or you might suggest quiet, peaceful activities instead of something like visiting the mall. It’s so important for humans to be heard, and so having these check-ins can really help keep someone’s mental health in check.
It can also be incredibly helpful for seniors when caregivers are open about their own mental health struggles. Of course, this never means that you should share beyond what is comfortable, or professional, but, if you share that you struggle with grief sometimes, or that you see a therapist, this can really open the mind of a client. Seeing that you are so together, even when facing your own challenges, can be very inspiring in terms of someone else seeking help.
Practice Meditation Together
Just this list of science-backed benefits of meditation by Healthline should be enough to encourage everyone to try it. There are entire mountain ranges of evidence as to how beneficial meditation can be for mental health, so why not give it a go? Not only can it support the wellness of the senior you care for, but if you practice it together you will also be supporting your own mental health.
And don’t worry, while some people might just have one image of meditation in their head, you don’t need to sit cross legged with your palms up in order to get that peaceful, calm feeling. There are countless different types of meditation you can try, it’s just about finding the right fit for you. Here are a few kinds you might want to explore:
- Body scan – carefully scan through all areas of your body part by part, paying special attention to any areas that appear to be holding tension.
- Metta Meditation – this form of meditation is about focusing our thoughts on being loving and positive, it’s also referred to as Loving Kindness meditation.
- Walking Meditation – this type of meditation is done while out for a walk. You stay mindful of every step and everything around you as you move about the world. Stepping with intention and interest. This is also a great way to build in another healthy habit – exercise!
- Mantra Meditation – focusing on a specific mantra for the meditation, and aiming to let other thoughts simply pass by without any unnecessary attention.
There are hundreds of different types of meditation, so there is almost certainly one that would be a good fit for you and the senior you care for. If it’s something you’re looking to encourage you might even suggest the two of you try several different types, almost like a meditation challenge? Try four different kinds for a week each and at the end of the month decide which one is best?
For more guidance, you might want to look into using an app, such as Insight TImer, which also has an interesting piece on different types of meditation techniques here.
Be Reliable
Something that can cause a lot of distress for seniors is disruption to their schedules. Routine is very important, and if you are constantly late or forgetful, it can lead to a lack of trust in your relationship. This instability could lead to negative affects on the senior you care for’s mental health. This doesn’t mean that you’re never allowed to make a mistake or forget something, but show up when you say you will, and keep your promises. And, if you do make a mistake, be sure to own up to it. Knowing that they can trust and rely on you will help them put their mind at ease and can lower their stress levels. Don’t be the reason for someone else’s stress!
Help Them Find Purpose
It’s very common for some seniors to feel lost during retirement. While they might have been looking forward to all the free time they were going to have, they might have always been working so hard that they never really thought about what they were going to do with the time once they had it. They didn’t have time to pick up hobbies, and they’re not even sure what kind of things they like to do. This is where you come in!
Helping the senior you care for find a hobby they enjoy is a great way to support their mental health. Get to know them and their interests, and then find out a way to facilitate it, whether that’s looking up the number of someone to teach private piano lessons, or contacting the local food bank to ask about volunteering opportunities. Without purpose or events to look forward to, it can be easy for people to start asking existential questions that can quickly send them spiraling. Having hobbies can give seniors a sense of fulfillment and purpose that can make them look forward to getting up each morning and seizing the day.
Do Projects Together
According to Diversus Health, creativity is not only good for our mental health, but also our immune systems! That’s two good reasons to dive into a creative project together. This might be a variety of smaller projects, such as small paintings or creating a terrarium, or more long-term projects like planting a garden. Again, this is providing purpose while also bringing in a healthy dose of joy and creativity. Plus it’s fun, and not everyone gets to have fun at work!
Although this list is a good starting place, one of the best things you can do for someone’s mental health is simply to ask them what it is they need from you. Sometimes you don’t know what someone is missing until you ask, so don’t be afraid to wade into that conversation so that you can give the best care possible. Here’s to happy and healthy seniors!
