The time has come to buy the champagne (or that inexpensive bottle of sparkling wine, because the bubbles are all that really matter), countdown from 10, and ring in a new year.
The end of the year can be emotional for a lot of people, especially caregivers. It’s inevitable to want to go through your year and analyze whether or not you’ve accomplished “enough.” It’s hard not to compare ourselves to others and scrolling through social media you’re going to see a lot of highlight reels.
The truth is that as a caregiver you might spend so much time focused on the older adult you’re caring for that you might not have had a lot of time to focus on yourself. You might not have even had the time to set any goals at all! And, while just getting through the year is accomplishment enough, it does feel good when you can look back at your year and see that you achieved some of the things you set out to do.
So, as we head into 2025, why not make a list of goals for yourself? These goals might be about how to be a better caregiver, or simply how to take better care of yourself, but all of them should be about how you can feel your best and head into the following year with a sense of pride and satisfaction.
Before we get into the five goals you might want to consider making for 2025, let’s talk a little bit about what you want to think about when setting goals. A good rule to follow is to think about making SMART goals. And no, that doesn’t mean an intelligent goal (although, let’s be honest, any goal you’re making is probably going to be intelligent, because it’s being made by you). SMART is a way of setting goals that is used all over the world, and it’s a useful tool to help make your goals more achievable. Here’s what the acronym stands for:
S – Specific. Make your goal as specific as possible. What do you want to achieve and what do you need to do to get there? For example, a vague goal might be “be healthier” but a specific goal could be to “add a vegetable to every meal” or “walk for at least 15 minutes every day.”
M – Measurable. How can you measure your progress? Taking from the example of walking above, if you wanted to walk at least 15 minutes you could keep track with a fitness watch or a note in your phone.
A – Achievable. We’ve all probably been guilty of making overly ambitious new years resolutions, like “I’m going to run five miles every day” when we have never even run for five minutes. But, an achievable goal could be to sign up for a five mile race in September, and start training in January. That’s also specific and measurable!
R – Relevant. Does the goal you’re making make sense to the longer-term goals you want to achieve in your life, whether personally or professionally? You should only make this goal if it’s important to you and what you want out of your life, not because of some sense of obligation to anyone else.
T – Time-bound. It’s important to have some kind of end date to your goal, otherwise it can be easy to avoid working on it. Our brains love deadlines!
For more information on SMART goals, check out this excellent guide from the University of California.
Now that we’ve talked about how to frame your goals, let’s look at some possible ideas for what to aim for in 2025!
1. Start a Gratitude Practice
It’s no secret that many caregivers struggle with their mental health. It’s a demanding job on its own, but add it onto other commitments like taking care of kids, or finding time to still pursue your career and it can quickly begin to feel unmanageable. While there are many ways to take care of your mental health, focusing on gratitude has been shown, by the National Alliance on Mental Illness, to increase feelings of satisfaction and happiness in one’s life. In fact, documenting happy moments or people or events you are grateful for can possibly even lessen symptoms of depression!
After studying the impacts of gratitude on test subjects, researchers also found that gratitude appears to affect physical health as well. Test subjects who practiced gratitude, instead of negativity, seemed to make overall healthier choices and also visited their doctors more frequently. This resulted in stronger immune systems and other perks, such as better sleep! Not bad for something that can take as just a few minutes out of each day to do!
There are many ways to practice gratitude, but, if we’re thinking about SMART goals, here are some tips.
- Gratitude journal. This is one of the most common ways to start a gratitude practice. This consists of putting aside a few minutes each day to write down what you’re grateful for that day. Remember to be as specific as possible. “I’m grateful for my family” is a nice sentiment, but a little general. When journaling it’s a good idea to have a daily goal. This might look like setting a timer for five minutes and free writing, or committing to writing down three things you’re grateful for each day.
- Weekly gratitude jar. At the end of each week write down your favorite moments and moments you are grateful for. You can then set a time to go through the jar to remind yourself of all the good moments you’ve had. You might choose to empty the jar every month, or wait until the end of the year. Again, it’s a good idea to give yourself a bit of structure by deciding on a minimum number of contributions you make each week. Otherwise, if you’re used to being negative you might be tempted to dismiss the jar and say “nothing good happened this week!” It can be surprising to realize all the good you have in your life when you actually sit down and think about it.
- Meditation. Many meditation apps offer meditations that are specifically focused on finding gratitude. This is a good way to start altering your thought process throughout your daily life, into one that’s more mindful and present so that you can notice everything you’re grateful for in real time.
2. Grow Your Skills
One of the great gifts of being human is the ability to continually learn new things. Although some caregivers might have stepped into this job with prior experience (and many others have chosen it as a professional career path) for others, it is very possible that you took on the job of looking after a loved one with no real idea of what you were doing. You’re caring, compassionate and smart, and you’ve figured out a lot along the way, but there’s always more to learn, so why not make that a goal for this year?
If you connect with your local seniors center, hospital or support group, they are likely to be able to point you towards resources in your area that provide courses on how to be a more well-rounded caregiver. This might look like learning to better care for a loved one with dementia, or how to navigate emotional outbursts.
There are also many classes you might want to explore that can help you become a better caregiver, while also giving you skills you can apply to other areas of your life! This might look like taking a cooking class, or maybe even becoming certified to become a personal trainer so that you know how to properly assist your loved one through a gentle fitness routine, while also keeping yourself active and healthy.
Continuing your education can give you confidence, improve the relationship you have with the loved one you care for, and can also help boost other areas of your life. So, if there’s something you’d like to improve in, then consider taking a course. Nothing like a certificate to give you the satisfaction of completing a goal!
3. Help Your Loved One Get Their Affairs in Order
The transition into caretaking can often be so overwhelming that the conversation about what to do with a household of items, or whether or not someone has an updated will is often forgotten about until it’s staring you square in the face.
Of course, it’s natural to feel some hesitancy about broaching these topics. There’s a natural association these tasks have with the end of someone’s life, and that can be difficult to think about, for everyone. However, if you don’t address these matters so they are going to continue hanging around in the back of your mind until you do, and that can add unnecessary stress and anxiety into your life.
Instead, schedule a time to sit down with your loved one and any other family members or loved ones who should be involved, and discuss these important issues. Be clear about what needs to be addressed, but don’t forget to be gentle and kind. It’s always helpful in these situations to explain why you feel something is important. Make it clear to your loved one that you want to respect their wishes, and that by taking care of these matters now will ensure that things are just as they want them to be, instead of leaving you and other loved ones to try to sort through everything after they’re gone. No one wants to feel like a burden, and helping someone take care of their affairs will help them make sure that they never are. The National Institute on Aging offers a great checklist to look through if you are unsure where to start.
4. Arrange More Support
Caregiving is not something you should have to do alone. Unfortunately, many adult children who take on caregiving responsibilities for an aging parent often find themselves in a position where they are the only source of care for their loved one, and quickly become burnt out. This might be because you don’t want to burden others, or because you believe you are the only person who is capable of adequately caring for your loved one.
While there might be specific tasks that you have been trained to oversee, such as the administration of a medication, or helping with physical therapy, it is very unlikely that you are the only person who is able to care for your loved one 24/7, and it’s also very unlikely that you are the only person who wants to help. Most people have bigger support networks than they realize, they just need to ask. Maybe friends and family have already offered help but you haven’t felt comfortable accepting it yet. Well, the time has come!
To begin, take a bit of time to figure out what you need help with, or even better, what you want the time for. Maybe you want a few hours each week so that you can get workouts in, or you want to be able to have a regular date night. Don’t only ask for help for what you need. Make sure you are also prioritizing yourself and what will help bring you joy and stability.
From there, reach out to your network to see who can commit to regular support. This might be a friend, family member or even another caregiver that you can trade off support with. Make sure your arrangement is clear and that they know what they need so that both of you and your loved one can all feel comfortable so that you can really enjoy that time away. When you take care of yourself you’ll take better care of your loved one!
5. Make Time for Joy
A lot of caregiving can get caught up in serious matters. You wouldn’t be taking care of someone if they had no medical needs, and it can be easy to only focus on doctor appointments and safety concerns. While of course those matters should take priority, it’s also important to remember to make time for joy and fun. In fact, the University of Medicine and Health Sciences tells us that joy is responsible for creating robust physical and mental health, something you might just be in search of right about now.
Joy can be found in different ways, so figure out what’s right for you and your loved one. Maybe it’s baking together, in which case you might commit to a cupcake or muffin day each week. Perhaps you both love animals, so you might search for silly animal videos or, if possible, go to a local petting zoo. Joy might even be found in something as simple as listening to some beautiful music, or blowing some bubbles and watching them float through the air. Joy doesn’t need to cost a lot of money or take a lot of time, but it’s something that should be sought out and paid attention to, because it will help make your life brighter and more beautiful.
At the end of the day, you want to make goals that resonate with you and are going to improve your life. So hopefully these suggestions have given you a good springboard from which you can jump into this new year. Here’s to a great one!
