It’s not uncommon to hear people sing the praises of caregivers, and with good reason! Caregivers are kind, compassionate people who frequently have to deal with emotionally heavy and complex situations. If you are a caregiver then it is very likely you are dealing with clients who struggle with poor mental health or cognitive disabilities. You also might work with someone who has experienced a lot of trauma in their life, and you might have heard or been exposed to things that are incredibly upsetting to witness.
Because of these intense circumstances, it can sometimes happen that caregivers experience something known as compassion fatigue. Compassion fatigue, as outlined by the Canadian Medical Association, is when someone who is dealing with someone else’s trauma or distress on a regular basis ends up taking on that trauma in a secondary manner. It’s almost like second hand smoke, you might be the one holding the cigarette, but if you spend enough time with the person who is, then you could face the same health consequences.
People with compassion fatigue often find themselves withdrawn and disinterested in others. You may suddenly realize that you feel numb to the trauma of others, and react in a careless or sometimes cold and inappropriate way. You might also experience increased anxiety and depression, find yourself constantly feeling helpless and overwhelmed, and struggle with self-care or substance use.
While there can be differences between burnout and compassion fatigue, they do often go hand in hand and if you are experiencing compassion fatigue then it is quite likely that you have already reached burnout. And, regardless of where you’re at, the following tips are helpful to protect you from either. It’s hard to care for others when you’re down, so read on to find out how to keep yourself healthy so that you can keep on being a rockstar caregiver.
Know Your Limits
We live in a society where hustle is valued. Rest is often viewed as something weak and unnecessary. Just look at celebrities who boast about their 4 am wake ups, skipping lunch to workout in the gym and not getting home until 9 pm. But despite how much people glorify the idea of working nonstop, the reality is that human beings need to rest. In fact, adequate rest is one of the most important things you can do for your physical and mental health. Sleep gives our bodies time to rest and repair. During sleep our brains develop, which can help us function better during the day, be better problem solvers, and retain memories. Sleep is also when bodies repair from damage. Just think about the day after you’ve done a hard workout. While your body might be sore either way, it probably felt a lot better if you got a good sleep than if you only got a couple of hours of shuteye.
Adequate sleep is also very good for our immune systems and our mental health. It lowers stress levels and can help us fight off those nasty colds that are especially prevalent at this time of year.
News in Health points out that it’s not just lack of sleep, but lack of good quality sleep, that can lead to serious health conditions like heart disease and dementia.
Armed with all of this knowledge, maybe you’ll be a bit more inclined to prioritize rest in the future? Yes, it can be tempting to stay late at work or say yes to that late concert with friends, but how much is it costing you? Yes, people lead busy lives and sometimes you can’t avoid being tired. Your child is sick and you have to take them to the hospital, or you’re struggling to make ends meet and you have to work a second job. There will be some days where being tired is not a choice, and during those times unfortunately the only thing you can do is get rest when you can. However, there are many other times when you get to make a choice as to whether or not you say yes to something that is going to affect your peace, and if saying yes will disrupt rest that you need, then it might be better to say no.
This might even go against things you know are healthy for you. For example, we all know that exercise is important, but if getting up to exercise means you’ll get less sleep than you should, then it might be better to skip your workout for the day. Lack of sleep can disrupt your metabolism and increase the likelihood of obesity, so if you’re not getting enough sleep then that workout probably isn’t doing much.
It can be hard to focus on rest, especially if it means forgoing something you enjoy, but, if you prioritize sleep and giving your body time to heal, then you’ll likely end up with healthier habits overall, and may be in a better place to be able to put time towards the activities you love. Plus you’ll be well-rested, and that always feels nice!
Therapy
Everyone could use help from time to time. Therapy is a great tool that can help you care for your mental health, and it’s often helpful even if you don’t feel like there’s a particular issue that needs to be addressed. Having someone to talk to about your emotions and experiences can help prevent something from becoming an issue because you’ll be able to catch it before it has the opportunity to grow.
Therapy is like maintenance for your mind. You brush your teeth in the hopes of preventing cavities, and shower because you’d probably rather not smell, so talking to someone who can help you sort out your feelings is not that different. It’s caring for your mental health in the hopes of preventing something like depression or anxiety from taking over and seriously disrupting your life.
Therapy might also be a great suggestion to make to your clients if you notice that some of your compassion fatigue is coming from trauma or mental health issues that they are expressing to you. As a caregiver part of your job is to be a compassionate listener, but that does not mean you are a mental health professional. There are some issues that require professional help, and you trying to step in to support them when you’re not qualified might end up hurting both of you. Instead, suggest they seek out guidance of their own. Point them towards Total Life, where they can receive Medicare supported therapy from therapists who are trained on how to tackle difficult subjects like grief and depression.
Find Joy
It can be easy to get overwhelmed with all of the commitments that you have in life, but are you making time for you? Caregiving is all about putting your time and energy into another human being, so it’s extra important to find time to do the things you love. This might look like buying a painting kit to use while watching an episode of your favorite show, or picking up a celebratory cake to enjoy “just because.”
Finding joy could be something big like starting a new hobby, but it could also be something as small as going outside on your deck to enjoy your morning coffee. We reach burnout for many reasons, but one can be because we have abandoned ourselves and our own needs. Prioritize you and what you want. You might even be surprised by yourself when you really listen. What you need to fill your cup might not be anything extravagant – it might just be making the time for a few simple pleasures.
Exercise
Yes, we did say earlier to prioritize rest before anything else, and that’s true! But exercise is still very important. While the recommendation, according to Health. com, is to get at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise five days a week, the reality is that any movement is better than none. It’s probably not realistic to jump into a five day workout routine if you are currently not doing exercise at all, so start small. Aim to do a five or ten minute workout video each day, something that is fairly easy to squeeze into your morning or evening routine, or even at the beginning of a lunch break. Once you’re comfortable with that amount of activity you can up the amount, and maybe even get into full length classes or training sessions.
You might also want to think about how to incorporate more movement into your daily routine. Can you stand instead of sit for some activities, and are there opportunities to take the stairs, walk instead of drive, or even just get up every half an hour to stretch when sitting for long periods of time.
A good tip when you’re trying to make exercise a habit is to find something you enjoy doing – that way you’re a lot more likely to stick to it. Youtube is a great place to start. There are lots of channels that offer everything from dance to weightlifting to yoga, so sift through to find something that speaks to you. Just because your friend swears by pilates doesn’t mean you have to do it too. Find something that makes you feel good and it’s a lot more likely that you’ll keep coming back than if you choose to do something out of a feeling of obligation.
Time Off
If you’re able to, take a day off. Sometimes all it takes is a little reset to get you back to your compassionate and focused self. This might look like negotiating with your employer, or reaching out to another family member or friend if you are caregiving for a loved one. Sometimes caregivers trick themselves into believing that they are the only person who is capable of caring for and understanding the needs of the senior they care for, but that simply isn’t true. That’s an unfair burden to place on yourself, and it’s important that you are able to step away and realize that the world won’t fall apart if you dedicate some time to looking after yourself.
What’s particularly important about taking a day off is that you take a day off with the intention of doing something that’s actually relaxing to you. That might be spending the day watching movies in bed or going for a long run in the park, but it’s important that it be about you, and not time to attend to other peoples’ needs. You deserve to have someone care for you on that day.
Food That Makes You Feel Good
We all know we should eat healthy, but you also want to be sure to focus on food that makes you feel your best. Too many people gorge on sugar that makes them crash, or dairy that makes their stomachs hurt, just because it tastes good. But, after the initial high of eating something tasty, you’ll probably start feeling sluggish and grumpy, which doesn’t lead to good physical results or good mental health.
There’s room in every diet for indulging in your favorite foods, but be sure that you’re opting for choices that make you feel your best. Having pancakes with whipped cream might be a great choice for a lazy Sunday afternoon, but they probably won’t help you feel your best when you have to jump into action on a busy Monday morning. A snack of Doritos and Coke won’t help you focus on a difficult task, just as a plain green salad won’t make you feel fulfilled after a long day of physically and mentally demanding labor.
When thinking about how to plan your meals, try to opt for food that’s colorful and varied. This means having protein, fiber, fat and carbs at every meal, and trying to make sure you always load up on vegetables and fruit. This way you’ll feel full, energized and satisfied so you can make choices with a clear head, and hopefully avoid falling into the brain fog and mood swings that often accompany high sugar foods, or foods that your body might be sensitive or intolerant to.
Ask For Help
Because caregivers are such competent people, it’s easy for others in their circle to believe they don’t need any help. You might even be someone who is constantly telling others that “I’m fine!” But, everyone needs a support network, so let other people in! Talk about your feelings and ask for help when you need it. Yes, therapy is a great option for general maintenance and more serious issues, but help might look like asking a friend to pick your kid up from school, or coming over to help unpack some boxes after a move. Humans work best when part of a community, so don’t be afraid to let yours in. Sometimes the smallest gesture can make the biggest difference.
Caregiving is rewarding but challenging, so be sure to always listen to your body and what it needs. If you think you’re reaching burnout then sit down to see if you can make any of the above changes, and listen to anything else you think you might need. You are important and you deserve care too, so don’t ignore yourself.
