For young people, retirement can be a vague and far-off concept. The idea that you don’t have to go to work seems like a fantasy when you’re young. Instead of working, you get to go on a permanent vacation where your time is, for the most part, your own. That can mean spending all day in your garden, taking a cruise you’ve always dreamed of, or just becoming one with the sofa and watching TV.
However, it’s important to remember that retirement is a monumental transition in an older person’s life, and like all big life transitions, it can wreak havoc on one’s mental health in ways that we can’t fathom in our younger days. According to a report by CBS News, an estimated 29% of retirees suffer some form of depression. Who expects to be depressed when they retire?
As our parents reach retirement age, we want to be there for them as much as possible. We want to help them transition smoothly into this new phase of their life. Our parents do and will need this help, even if they don’t want to admit it. Whether it means staying in their home, staying with you, or staying in a retirement facility, we want to make our parent’s golden years their best. So, it’s important to help care for our older loved ones’ mental health as much as their physical health.
In this blog, we’ll explore some issues that seniors face when entering retirement and how you can be the steady hand that guides your loved ones through the potentially troubled waters of retirement.
How Retirement Impacts Mental Health
For some, it may come as a surprise that the prospect of retirement can trigger mental health issues in senior citizens. We urge you to consider the fact that when a person retires, a major chapter of their life has ended. The day after they retire, your parents are faced with a new reality and they may need your help.
The Shift in Identity from Worker Bee to Retiree
For so many of us, our identity is tied to our jobs. How many times have you met someone new, and within seconds of meeting each other, one of the first questions is, “So what do you do?” When an older person retires from their career, they do, in effect, lose a part of themselves– one they have spent decades building. This can be even worse for older people with little to no interests outside their jobs. Our parents have an identity, a role to fill, and a purpose at their job, no matter what the job is. When they retire, our parents will have to adjust to a new reality, especially if they have had one job for a long time.
At first, your parents might feel happy and relieved not to have the responsibilities they once had, especially if they were in a position of authority. It’s can be a dream to go from “How do I fix this?” to “Not my problem!” In turn, that may even lead our newly retired parents to ask questions like “Who am I now?” There is also a social-psychological aspect to consider. Even if our parents complain about working every day, they will still miss the job. Not only are they saying goodbye to their work, but also relationships with colleagues that they have spent years developing. Many of those work relationships will be severed upon retirement, which can feel very isolating.
Not all older people like our parents are as mentally ready for retirement as they think they are, even if they long for it. As first reported by Forbes, in 2022, OnePoll surveyed a thousand recent retirees, 32% of whom said they wished they had kept working longer in their careers, while another 32% admitted they didn’t feel well prepared for the day-to-day realities of retirement.
Loss of Routine and Structure
It’s been well established that having a routine is positive for our mental health for a variety of reasons. Having a set routine helps us to feel less stressed, sleep better, be happier, and be happier overall. When our parents retire, their daily routine drastically changes. Instead of doing what they have done for decades, getting up, eating, showering, and commuting to work, they can now sleep in and do literally nothing. Sometimes, we can grow so accustomed to a routine that our body seems to be doing everything while our brain is still asleep.
The same is true for our parents, who have been generally working longer than we have. For some, having that newfound freedom can be a welcome change. For others, the lack of routine can feel overwhelming or even lead to feelings of depression and anxiety and may potentially trigger addiction issues. When our parents retire, it’s a good idea to encourage them to keep certain routines or even develop new ones to help keep them more grounded.
Financial Anxiety
As our parents get closer to retirement, one of the biggest questions they may ask is, “Can I even afford to retire?” In a perfect world, when our parents retire, they will have enough savings to last the next thirty years of their lives and allow them to live comfortably. The thing is, that’s not always the case. Not all retirees are financially secure enough to leave their jobs, which can bring on feelings of negativity.
On top of the typical worries about being able to afford living expenses and so on, sometimes our parents may feel a sense of shame. They may end up kicking themselves for not doing more to prepare for retirement now that it’s looking them directly in the eye. None of us want to see our parents or older loved ones go through that. As your parents are near retirement age, sitting with them and discussing their finances may be a good idea. At the very least, it could help to get rid of some of their anxiety by speaking about it openly.
Most Common Mental Health Issues Seniors Face In Retirement
On paper, retirement should be the best time of our lives, right? No doubt our parents thought so. After a half-century of being workforce members, they’ve more than earned it. Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case. Mental health issues that arise can put a dark cloud over their golden years. As such, we need to watch out for all-too-common mental health issues that may arise after retirement.
The Retirement Blues
Depression is unfortunately very common for retirees, to the point where some have called it “The Retirement Blues.” Feelings of depression may be prevalent in older people if they are forced to retire. Meanwhile, some retired people may immediately check things off their bucket list by doing everything they have wanted to do for decades. As great as that can be, it can also lead to a problem. Once those retirement goals have been achieved and everything has been checked off the list, your parents may be left with a sense of depression. After your parents have done everything they wanted to do, they might end up asking, “What’s left?”
As retirement Coach Scott Miller told CBS News when talking about the transition to retirement:
“People underestimate the amount of change that is about to take place.” It’s not pleasant to think about, but when your parents do retire, being at that age may make some older people even feel that they are now closer to the grave than they are the cradle. This sense of impending finality may cause your parents to feel depressed in the face of their own eventual mortality. Also, it’s not uncommon for older people like your parents to feel a big sense of grief and loss at the huge part of their life that is now over, which is totally normal. Even encouraging your retired parents to volunteer once a week can potentially do a world of good for their mental health.
Anxiety for the Future
One of the nice parts of working is that a job can give us a sense of routine and structure (along with the money, of course). For better or worse, when they were working, our parents generally knew what each day at work would bring. Unless your parents are already financially secure going into retirement, the anxiety can be overwhelming. Any unexpected expenses, be it cost of living, health issues, etc., can worsen things. In a survey conducted by OnePoll for Forbes Health, most new retirees said that financial insecurity had been the most difficult part of retirement. Ideally, our parents will live for at least another thirty years after they retire from working. While the golden years can be exciting, they can also symbolize a frightening and uncertain future.
The Risk of Loneliness
Something to remember is the newfound feeling of loneliness that your parents may now face. We mentioned the loss of work-related relationships above, but consider for a moment all of the people your parent(s) may have interacted with on a daily basis. If your parent is single or widowed and lives alone, this feeling of social isolation could be even worse now that those daily interactions can no longer be relied upon. Studies have shown that social isolation can lead to or exasperate addiction issues, as well as trigger higher stress levels, sleep issues, and heart disease, among other things.
How We As Children Can Support Our Retired Parents
At the end of the day, one of the best ways to help our parents with their transition into retirement is to be there for them as much as possible. Keep in mind that they don’t have a parent to help them through this like they were there for us during so many formative times in our lives
Communicate openly and clearly
Discussing your parents’ mental health may not be the easiest conversation you have with them, but it’s a vital one. According to the World Health Organization, 15% of people aged 60 and older live with a mental disorder. When you decide to talk to a parent about how they are feeling, remember that your parents may come from a generation where openly talking about things like depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues was looked down upon. If they do decide to speak, listen intently without judgment. It takes a lot of strength and trust to open up. If you are having challenges in the conversation, don’t be afraid to seek telemedicine therapy, phone counseling, or therapy online for additional support.
Help find a hobby or discover a new passion
Hobbies are a great way to help a parent’s mental health when they retire. New activities may be able to give a sense of purpose previously fulfilled by their work. If, for example, your parents get into building puzzles or model cars, there is always a sense of achievement upon completion. If there are passions you share with a parent, this is a great opportunity to expand on that hobby. Along with allowing you to develop a closer bond with your parents, it keeps their mind engaged, gives them a bit of structure, and helps to fight off loneliness.
Encourage Your Parents to build a social life
It’s always a good idea to encourage your newly retired parents to have a social life, especially if they had little to no social life outside of their former job. The great thing here is that there are usually plenty of opportunities for social engagement, depending on your community. Perhaps your parent can become a part of a church group, volunteer, host a weekly bingo game, or just meet up for a daily coffee with friends. These social bonds can do wonders for your parent’s mental and physical health.
Encourage a healthy lifestyle
We’re not saying you should suggest your parents should strive for a six-pack necessarily. Still, it has been proven that exercise is beneficial for mental health, especially when it comes to things like anxiety or depression. Even a simple walk around the block in the fresh air can do wonders. It’s also important to have a healthy diet to stave off things like type 2 diabetes, which can also impact mental health. Encouraging your newly retired parents to join an aerobics class or a walking club can also fill their exercise and social needs.
Talk to your parents about their financial concerns for the future.
It can be just as hard to talk to a parent about their financial future as it is their mental health. As your parents are nearing their retirement age and your parent’s financial future, this is a conversation that needs to happen. The last thing we want is for our parents to be stressed out about their finances during their golden years. After all, your parents have worked their entire lives to retire. When you talk to your parents about their financial concerns, your goal is to assist them with financial planning and budgeting for the future. Don’t be afraid to bring a financial planner into the mix to help your parents reach their goals further.
Conclusion
As we’ve seen so far, when our parents and elderly loved ones retire they face a wide array of mental health challenges as they transition into the new phase of life. It can be painful to see a beloved family member get older and lose the sense of who they once were. Some people who retire are able to do so on their own terms, while others are forced into it. In either case, as children, it’s important that we help our parents out at this time. It’s also important to know that there is help, be it through telemedicine or services within your local community. As your parents approach retirement, take the time to talk with them about it for all of you.
