It’s scary to think about our parents growing older. Many children struggle to accept cognitive decline in their parents because they can’t come to terms with the fact that the capable people they once knew now need to be cared for, and aren’t able to provide for themselves, or for you, in the way they used to. It’s normal to be angry and sad, and it’s important to give yourself time to process this changing reality. However, it’s vitally important that you seek help as soon as you suspect a cognitive decline in one or both of your parents, as getting them the support they need in as early a stage as possible can give them the best chance of having a long and enjoyable life.
But even if you know how important it is to act fast, you might not be exactly sure of what to look for. While some symptoms of cognitive decline might be obvious, there are other, more subtle changes that you might mistake for your parents simply having a bad day, or normal changes due to age. So, today let’s look at some of the most common signs of cognitive decline to look out for so that you can be prepared to take action should you have to.
Before we begin, let’s talk a little bit of what cognitive decline might signal. As mentioned, it’s normal to experience a natural loss in cognitive ability as we age. Just as our bodies grow slower, it’s also totally normal to experience a decline in our mental swiftness and clarity. However, if the decline is more severe it can signal dementia, Alzheimer’s disease, and also something known per the Cleveland Clinic, as Mild Cognitive Impairment. While some versions of MCI might lead to dementia or Alzheimer’s, it’s also possible that it could be the by product of a nutritional deficiency, sleep issues, addiction problems, side effects of medication, and a host of other things, many are which are treatable and could return the individual in question to a better cognitive state. That’s why it’s always important to get a professional diagnosis and never dismiss something as untreatable. Now let’s get into those signs to look out for.
Memory Loss
Memory loss can be a classic symptom of cognitive decline, but it’s also a tricky one, because it’s also a natural sign of aging. Everyone struggles to remember the name of an everyday option, or even an acquaintance, from time to time, so just because your mom or dad forgets one thing doesn’t mean you need to rush them off to the doctor. Memory can also be negatively affected by lack of sleep or excessive stress, so it’s also important to consider the circumstances when your parents forget things. However, if you notice that they are constantly having trouble recalling dates, names, or events that happened, then it is worthwhile to have them mention it to their doctor. It’s very simple to have their physician perform a quick memory test that would indicate whether or not any further testing is needed. In a best case scenario it’s just the normal memory losses that occur with age, but if not then at least you’ve seen to it as soon as possible.
Mental Health Issues
It’s quite common for seniors who are experiencing cognitive decline to recognize that something bad is happening to them. For some, this might lead to feelings of shame and denial, for others it might be a feeling of confusion and hopelessness. Whether or not they’re aware of what exactly is happening to them, they’re probably aware that things are not quite the way they used to be, and this can lead to a wide range of mental health issues, including depression and anxiety.
Mental health issues aren’t always a sign of cognitive decline, but most cognitive decline will be accompanied by mental health issues. Either way, it’s important to get your parents help, as left untreated, mental health can deteriorate quickly. Recommend they visit their doctor, and, if they’re not already seeing one, you might suggest they see a therapist who can help them process some of these difficult emotions.
Trouble with Complex Tasks
Along with memory loss, one of the earliest signs of cognitive decline is difficulty completing complex tasks. This means anything that requires a series of steps, problem-solving, critical thinking or knowledge transfer. This might mean they have difficulty following a recipe or a set of directions on how to set up an application on their phone. Everyones’ brain works differently, and there are always going to be certain types of tasks that are easier to perform than others. For example, one person might be great at math but have a hard time learning a dance routine and vice versa, so just because your parents are struggling with one type of complex task doesn’t mean they have dementia. However, if you see that this is becoming a common issue, or they’re having a particular issue with tasks that were previously not difficult for them to complete, then that might be cause for concern.
Personality and Mood Changes
Someone who is experiencing cognitive decline will often display changes in mood or personality. This is particularly common for people who are diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. They may be anxious, irritable, and even mean and aggressive. While this might be glaringly obvious in someone who previously always had a sunny disposition, it can sometimes be more difficult to spot in someone who leaned toward negativity, or has already been struggling with their mental health for quite some time. That’s why it’s so important to keep track of changes in your parent’s attitude and mood so that you notice when something seems amiss. We all have bad days, but when your parent is continually acting unlike themselves, then it’s time to start asking some questions. Changes are that they are feeling scared and confused, and their outbursts are due to a feeling that they are losing control over their own lives, so it’s important to have compassion and address this issue as sensitively as possible.
Apathy
Another telltale sign of cognitive decline is your parent showing a lack of interest in the things they once enjoyed, or a lack of interest in things in general. They might stop going to their senior’s club, or not be interested in attending their grandchild’s birthday party. It’s easy to feel dismissed and ignored when your parent is displaying apathy, especially when it involves you and other people you love, so don’t let your own feelings get in the way of getting them help. Part of staying mentally fit is engaging in activities we enjoy, so it’s very important to address this issue as soon as it comes up. Whether it’s due to cognitive decline or depression, your parent deserves to have the best life they can, so seek help for this difficult and frustrating symptom.
Confusion
Have you noticed your mom or dad is easily confused? You mention something that happened recently and they get the facts wrong, or you talk about something you’re both familiar with but they are suddenly mixing up the details? When you call them on it they insist they’re right, or awkwardly laugh and try to cover up the mistake, but you know that they’re still confused about something that should be clear. This can be an easy sign to ignore, because so many people are good at playing it off, especially if they recognize their own confusion and try to hide it out of embarrassment. If you notice your parent seems to be getting confused quite frequently, then gently address the topic with them. You don’t want to upset them or have them get defensive (although that might be inevitable, no matter how kind you are), so approach it in a light, non-judgemental way. Ask them if the confusion has been happening for them a lot, and suggest that it might be a good idea to visit their doctor so they can run some tests. Just like with everything on this list, confusion can be a symptom of other conditions as well, so don’t jump to conclusions, but, it’s a good idea to have it addressed if you’re noticing that it’s become a pattern.
Repetition
Is your parent asking you the same question over and over, or do they keep on telling you that same story? While all of us repeat ourselves from time to time, if your mom or dad keeps on asking or telling you the same thing, then this could be a sign that they are experiencing memory loss or confusion that is connected to cognitive decline.
Another element of repetition that can also lead to cognitive decline, but is not always a determining factor, is something called Repetitive Negative Thinking, or RNT. BMC Psychiatry published an article on how RNT can lead to cognitive decline if left untreated. So, while it doesn’t necessarily spell out an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, if you notice that your mom or dad is constantly ruminating on the same sad event, or seems fixated on reliving past grievances, then it’s something you might want to mention to them. Our brains can be rewired to focus more on the positive, but it takes a lot of work, so an individual needs to be willing to do it. However, if getting therapy can potentially prevent or lessen cognitive decline, then that might be a worthwhile trade for many people.
Missing Events and Appointments
If your parent falls into a pattern of constantly missing events and appointments, then that might be a sign that they are struggling with cognitive decline. Again, this can sometimes be dismissed because your parent might be someone who has historically been bad with date keeping or running late, so it’s important to notice if there are subtle changes from their behavior in the past. Maybe they miss things like hair appointments but never miss a birthday. So, if they do out of the blue, then that could be your indication that this isn’t in the category of their regular flakiness.
Inability to Follow Conversations
Another sign of cognitive decline can be if you notice that your mom or dad seem to be struggling to follow what’s happening in a conversation. Perhaps they repeat the same question several times or simply nod in the way you do when you’re tired of trying to understand. In a group you might notice that they’ve completely disengaged and are no longer even trying to participate. Sometimes this might simply be due to exhaustion and/or someone’s social battery running out. But if you notice it happening frequently, especially when conversation used to flow easily, then you might want to bring it up as a concern.
Difficulty Focusing
Does your parent seem easily distracted or restless? Do they get up in the middle of a task or switch subjects mid conversation? While this can also be a symptom of a condition such as ADHD, if your parent was not previously exhibiting these symptoms then it might be a sign to seek the guidance of a doctor or mental health counselor.
Coordination and Balance Issues
Cognitive decline doesn’t just affect our mind, but our bodies, too. For seniors with conditions like Alzheimer’s, it’s very common for them to display a lack of coordination, balance and fine motor skills. This is because the brain, which controls the movement of our limbs, is experiencing damage, which eventually impacts our entire body. Sadly, as stated by Alzheimer’s Research UK, this is how that particular condition causes death, as it eventually shuts down the entire body’s systems. Although a lack of coordination and spatial awareness is not always a symptom of Alzheimer’s, it is often still related to a serious medical condition, so it’s important to get it looked at if you notice your mom or dad are not as coordinated as they used to be.
Delusions
The final sign we’ll mention today is something that will likely ring alarm bells for almost anyone, and that is seeing someone experience a delusion. This might be believing someone is there who isn’t, or could also be someone believing something terrible will happen that isn’t possible, such as the government coming to take away all their money, or that someone is plotting to kill them in the middle of the night. Watching someone experience a delusion is scary, but it’s very difficult to reason them out of it. Instead you should connect them with mental health professionals like a doctor and a psychiatrist, who can diagnose them and devise the best treatment plan possible.
It’s never easy to come to terms with your parents growing older, but armed with the knowledge in this list, the goal is that you can get them help as soon as they need it.
