February can be a difficult month for many of us. Seasonal affective disorder affects millions of Americans each year and can bring feelings of depression, disinterest and exhaustion.
Even for those who aren’t dealing with seasonal depression, it can still be a challenge to want to get out and be social when it’s so gloomy and grey outside. Many people also struggle with the idea of having nothing big to look forward to during the second month of the year. The fall brings in cozy sweaters, Halloween celebrations and hay rides, and December brings Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa to people all over the world. However, the start of a new year, while celebratory at first, can quickly turn gloomy for those of us in the northern hemisphere, particularly in places where we get a lot of snow and darkness. Aside from Valentine’s Day, there isn’t much in the way of big events to look forward to until the spring.
That’s why it’s so important to find ways to remain social and engaged during this challenging month. February can be just as enjoyable as other times of year, you just have to take charge a little more than you might during, say, the middle of summer.
Older adults might be more inclined to stay indoors, as they might feel uncomfortable heading outside in the snow and ice, or they could be dealing with fewer invitations to social events. But, there’s no reason why they can’t have just as vibrant a social life as you. So, the following list are some suggestions you can make to help your parents remain social and engaged during February.
Learn How to Use Public Transportation
Sometimes an older adult’s lack of socialization is due to something incredibly simple to remedy: lack of knowledge! It could be that your parents are eager to get out there and check out local events or spend time with friends, but they might not be able to, or comfortable behind the wheel of a car anymore. Driving in the winter or at night might also give them hesitation when considering outings during the winter.
However, unless you live in a completely rural area, there’s no reason why your parents shouldn’t take advantage of local transit systems to help them get around.
Most cities have convenient transit systems. Depending on where you live these systems could involve buses, trains, subways and trams – sometimes even ferries! To find out about fares and schedules, you can visit your local transportation network’s website, or, find out where a transit station is located to speak to someone in person and see if any physical schedules are available.
Most cities offer heavily discounted transit passes to older adults, which not only makes choosing this option convenient, but affordable as well.
If your parents are feeling nervous about taking transit for the first time then you might offer to go with them to show them how to swipe their transit pass or pay with a card or coins. You could also help them plot out a route to and from their nearest transit stops to make sure they are comfortable with how to navigate the area. Once they are familiar with the schedule it will make it a breeze to not only get to social appointments, but also any other important events in their calendars, such as visits to the doctor or dentist.
Make Regular Video Call Dates
There will be times when going outside frequently is simply not an option. This might be due to something like particularly severe weather, illness, or mobility issues. However, this doesn’t mean that your parent’s social connection needs to diminish. For better or for worse we live in a time of excessive connection. We can contact someone all the way across the world in a matter of seconds, whether through text, call or video chat.
Online chats are a great way for older adults to remain connected to others, especially with family or friends who live far away. This could be especially important if your parents have recently made a move, and are feeling homesick for their old neighborhood and friends.
If your parents are a little bit apprehensive about using technology, you can support them by sitting down to help them through the apps they need to use together. Many older adults might also feel more comfortable with written instruction, so taking the time to print out a step by step guide on how to use a program, even if it might feel simple to you, could help give your parents the confidence they need to use technology more often.
While in-person socialization is certainly important, talking to others on the phone or on video can be a great way to keep older adults engaged. Knowing that you have a regular video chat with a loved one gives you something to look forward to throughout the week, and that can help give a much needed mental health boost during the cold months of winter.
Join a Club
There are clubs out there to satisfy all interests, you just have to look for them! Clubs are a fun and low pressure way to up social interactions and build new connections. Many clubs operate on a drop in basis, so they can become a regular part of someone’s routine, without the stress of having to worry about missing a few weeks if you’re ill or heading out on vacation.
You can find clubs advertised at your local recreation center, library or center for older adults. Some might be specifically geared towards older generations, while others are open to all ages. You can find clubs that build on new skills, such as knitting, writing or language clubs. You can also find ones that bring people together from similar cultural or religious backgrounds. Or you might be on the lookout for a club that builds upon a specific interest such as a birding or reading club.
If there is something your parents are interested in then chances are high you can find a club for it. If you don’t see something advertised at a recreation center or another similar facility you can reach out to a place that is based around a specific interest. For example try calling nature centers for animal related clubs, or a bookstore for a writing or book club. If you truly can’t find anything then why not start the club yourself? Chances are if one person is interested in the topic then there will be others out there who are interested in it too!
Get Moving
Exercise helps our bodies in a variety of ways. As Healthline tells us, it makes us happier, boosts our brain health and can help us stay at a healthy weight. It also gives us energy, which can make us more inclined to want to engage with others and the outside world. Plus, depending on what kind of exercise you choose it can also be an extremely social activity! Many fitness classes see the same people show up to class time and time again, which can help build up one’s social network.
You can even take the advice listed above and search out a fitness related club! Popular sports include tennis, pickleball and ping pong. But, the most important thing when seeking out a new kind of exercise is to find what feels good to you. Someone is unlikely to want to keep coming to a class they hate, so if it doesn’t feel good leave it and try something new!
Gone are the days of simply pumping iron at the gym or only doing latex-clad aerobics. Now you go to step class, spin, pilates, yoga, aqua fit, dance and so many more exciting options. Visit a recreation center, local gym or try out introductory classes at different fitness studios to find the right fit.
Take a Class
If your parents are people who prefer to have a lot of structure in their lives, or just really love learning, then a formal class might be the best way for them to stay engaged this February. Depending on what they’re interested in you might want to look at what’s on offer at a local college. Or, maybe they’re into doing something more artistic, in which case seeking out a pottery or painting school might be the right fit. Retirement is a great time to explore activities that you never had the time to do before but always wanted. So, ask your parents questions about any hobbies or passions they’ve never gotten a chance to explore. Maybe one of them wants to try an acting or improv class! Maybe the other has always wanted to learn how to make guitars! There are countless options out there for every kind of interest. Who knows, maybe a few years down the line you’ll end up seeing your parent up there on the big screen!
Not only are hobbies a great way to stay socially engaged, the National Institute on Aging tells us that they can help you manage stress, make overall healthier choices, and even potentially help keep some health conditions at bay. Pretty desirable results from simply doing something you enjoy!
Volunteer
A lot of older adults retreat from social engagements because they feel isolated from the rest of society. After a long career, many people struggle with a lack of purpose, and, while engaging with others would be helpful, some people turn away instead because they feel lost and perhaps a bit abandoned by society. However, everyone has youth and purpose, regardless of their age, and volunteering can be a great way for older adults to feel that sense of purpose once again.
Similarly to clubs, there is no shortage of options when it comes to the types of places you can volunteer at. If there’s a place you’re interested in volunteering for simply give them a call – there’s a very good chance there are volunteer opportunities available! Many organizations wouldn’t be able to function without the vital support of volunteers, so there are often lots of positions available, and many of them come with nice perks! Of course, depending on the position there might be some competition, but if you are willing to work for free then there is a very high likelihood that you can find a place that will suit you. Some ideas of places to volunteer are:
- Film, music or art festivals
- Animal shelters
- Marathons and other races
- Food banks
- Hospitals
Gratitude Journal
While it might seem counterintuitive to choose to write in a journal by yourself as a way to engage more, there is some validity to it! Gratitude journaling is the practice of putting some time aside each day to write out what you’re grateful for. Sometimes this is done by putting on a timer, or by prompting yourself to think of at least three things you’re grateful for and write about them as specifically as possible.
As Vogue says, gratitude journaling can help you focus on the present and improve mental health. Plus, it forces you to look at all the people and moments in your life, instead of focusing on the negative. Often, we might become so consumed by what is going wrong in our lives that we ignore all the good, which can make it easy for us to become withdrawn and isolated. By taking time to write down what we love, it can make us excited about the next day, and all the good moments we are sure to experience during it. Eventually that might even make someone be so excited about new experiences that they intentionally seek them out, simply because they know it will bring them joy. Of course, don’t expect to have your parents do a few days of gratitude journaling and suddenly be outgoing like never before, but every little bit counts, right?
Have a Goal
Finally, a fun way to beat the winter blues is by setting some goals for you to work towards. Sure, these can be serious personal goals like getting a short story accepted to a publication or lifting a heavier set of weights at the gym. But they can also be silly goals, like finding the best chocolate chip cookie in town, or making a list of everything you want to do before winter ends, like going skating, making a snowman and getting hot chocolate. Regardless of the seriousness of it, goals still provide purpose and enjoyment for the person or people who are doing them, so get brainstorming with your parents to find out what goals they want to set this February. Maybe they can even rope some of their neighbors in on their goals to make a neighborhood event!
It can be hard to get back into the groove of being social, especially if you have been detached for a while, so be patient with your parents. While getting out there can feel good, it can also feel scary, so a little patience and kindness can go a long way. Hopefully this list helps you and your parents pass through the winter with a little bit more fun than last year. Pretty soon you’ll see blossoms back on the trees and then everything will start to feel just a little bit better.
