It can be intimidating to make friends at any age, but for many seniors, this task is especially daunting. Often, seniors are already set in their routines, and have a large circle of friends around them who know them and their habits well. However, as people age, they often find themselves struggling with isolation and loneliness. This can come from the loss of their spouse and some of their peers, which is compounded by the grief they must feel at losing someone they love.
A sense of loneliness can also develop after a move to a new place. Some seniors may decide to move cities to be closer to their children or access better healthcare. Or, a move across the city may be necessary based on an available unit in an assisted living facility. Even if they are still in the same city as their friends, the greater distance may make it more difficult to see them with the regularity they’re used to, especially if any of them are dealing with mobility or other health issues.
Regardless of the reason behind it, it’s very common for seniors to find themselves feeling lonely. In fact, loneliness is a growing health concern. Not only can the feeling of isolation lead to or worsen symptoms of anxiety and depression, but, according to the American Medical Association, loneliness increases the risk of neurocognitive disorders by 50%, and can increase the risk of heart attack and stroke by 29% and 32% respectively.
So, why is loneliness so bad for us? Well, as Psychology Today says, a feeling of belonging is essential to our wellbeing. We are social creatures, and we need to feel connected to others in order to feel a sense of belonging and identity. It doesn’t matter if you’re introverted or extroverted, everyone needs a community of loved ones to help them feel safe and supported. For some that might mean a large circle of friends and a busy calendar filled with social events. For others that might look like one on one coffee dates and quiet walks with a few trusted confidants. However, the above isn’t possible without having friends to reach out to, so let’s look at some of the different ways that seniors can create social connections to improve their mental health and promote overall well being.
Senior Center
If you’re a senior looking to build connections in your life then one of the first places you should look is at your local seniors’ center. Almost every community across the United States has one, and larger cities often have several. Many offer free, or very low cost programming. A senior center is typical to a regular recreation center (another good place to visit if you’re looking to expand your community), but is dedicated to older adults, usually 65, or at minimum, 50+. Senior centers offer resources on housing, volunteering and community resources, so they’re a great place to go if you have questions about this new stage of your life. But the other reason that a senior center is such a great place to build community is because of their packed activity schedules! Senior centers usually offer a wide variety of classes and special events, which are perfect ways to meet new people and start building relationships. Depending on the center, they might offer activities such as bingo, exercise classes, conversation nights, lectures, Mahjong, art lessons and dance nights. No matter what you’re interested in, you are sure to find it at your local senior club, and, along with it, other people who are interested in the same things.
Connect with Old Friends
Too often, we let relationships slip away. We remember good times we’ve had with old friends and acquaintances, but instead of reaching out we convince ourselves that it’s too late to reconnect.
While it might feel awkward to reach out to an old friend you haven’t spoken to in years, there’s a good chance that they also miss the good conversations you once had, and would be delighted to hear from you! So dust off that old address book, and reach out to community members that you haven’t been in touch with in some time. Of course not everyone might be available or interested in getting together, but there’s a good chance that many will be, especially if you have remained on good terms with them. Sometimes these reconnections might not lead anywhere, but at other times they can flourish into beautiful friendships that last the rest of your life, so why not give it a shot? If there is someone in your life you would love to see again, pick up the phone or send an email, you never know how much it could enrich your life until you give it a try.
Sign Up for a Class
What better way to meet new people than by trying something new? Is there something you’ve always wanted to explore but you never had the time to do it before now? Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn how to make a perfect Pad Thai, or you’d like to create beautiful collages or flamenco dance. For individuals in their golden years, it’s common to feel a little aimless, especially if you’ve just retired after a lifetime of fulfilling work. So what better way to fill your time than by trying out a hobby you never had the opportunity to explore? Not only is a class likely to be stimulating for your mind, but you’ll also meet other people who may have signed up for similar reasons. This can also be a great way to meet people of different ages as well. While there are many activities that are specially geared towards seniors, it might also be beneficial to sign up for a class that is open to all ages. While it’s wonderful to connect with your peers, it can be a breath of fresh air to meet people of different ages who can share their own unique experiences of what it is like for them to navigate this world that we all share.
Join Your Legion
If you are a veteran, then why not sign up to be a member of your legion? Legions are a great place for veterans to be able to connect over their shared experiences serving their country, plus they can connect seniors to local resources and hold some fun social events! While veterans hopefully always have a good support network behind them, it can sometimes be hard for them to find other people who truly understand what they have experienced, especially if they have been on the front line of a conflict. That’s why getting the opportunity to speak to others who know exactly what they’ve been through can be so important. While there are more official channels to turn to in terms of getting mental health support, for anyone who simply wants someone to talk to over a beer, a legion is a great place to have that outlet and build your community.
Volunteer
One of the best ways for seniors to build new connections is by offering up their time as a volunteer. For many seniors, volunteering with a local organization is deeply fulfilling and enjoyable. One of the best things about volunteering is that you get to have complete control over how much time you are willing to give, which means you can structure your schedule with much more flexibility than you would with a regular job. Maybe you want to offer help at the humane society every weekend, or you might volunteer at several places throughout the week. You might also look into volunteer needs for special events, such as a film festival or a theater, which can also offer a lot of perks like free concerts and plays. This is another great way to get more involved with interests you might not have previously had time for, plus you will be sure to meet many other like minded individuals while you are out volunteering, which makes it an enriching experience for the soul. To get help looking for volunteer opportunities you might contact your local senior center or library, or, if there’s a particular organization you already know you’re interested in then you could reach out to them directly or check their website for opportunities. They should be able to tell you about any available positions, or they might even create one just for you!
Try Therapy
If you are a senior who is experiencing loneliness and poor mental health, then it might be a good idea to look into getting some advice from a registered mental health professional. Not only can they give you tips on how to better your mental state, but they can also help to guide you towards ideas for how to build your support system. For some people, it can be difficult to make social connections because they suffer from severe social anxiety, so even the thought of talking to a new person can create a sense of panic. However, it’s just as important for people with social anxiety to have friendships, so it might be helpful to seek professional help for how to overcome these symptoms and be able to form relationships with new people. There are countless therapists available online or over the phone who specialize in these issues and can help you forge connections with other seniors in your community. All you have to do is send an email to get the ball rolling towards a more enjoyable life.
Even if you don’t suffer from social anxiety, therapy might still be a good option, particularly group therapy. So often, people just need someone else to talk to, particularly if they are experiencing grief after the loss of a loved one. There are lots of support groups out there for people who are lonely or dealing with mental health issues. Some groups might even just be for people who just want to talk. This is a great way to process your feelings while also building friendships. Find more information through a senior center or a mental health counselor.
Travel
According to Forbes, travel makes us happier. The excitement and anticipation of travel releases dopamine in our brains. Travel also makes us more open, creative, and adaptable to change. Hearing a different language, and experiencing different customs and environments can positively impact the wiring in our brains, which has a major impact on our mental health, not just during vacation, but long after it. Of course all of this is a good enough reason to go traveling on its own, but another great reason is that traveling can introduce you to all sorts of new people who can expand your social network. You might consider taking a group trip, where you get to share these experiences with a group of strangers who are also looking for social connection. Or, you could also choose to travel with friends. Learning how to adapt to someone else’s travel style can be stressful at times, but it can also deepen and strengthen relationships, and build memories that will last forever.
Attend a Religious Service
If you have been feeling lonely, perhaps you might try attending a religious service. While not everyone belongs to a faith, for those who do, it can be easy to find community within members of your religious community. Plus, outside of services, there are often lots of social events where you can find good conversation with new friends. If you’re not religious but are still spiritual, you might look into other less devout events, such as meditation practices or sound baths.
Start a Club
While joining a class or club is a great way to make new friends, if you’re having trouble finding something you’re interested in, then why not start your own? This might be something like a book club, or getting a group of people together for a chili cook off. You could put out the word to your friends, and ask anyone who is interested to invite one of their friends, therefore expanding your circle. Depending on what kind of club you’re interested in creating, you might even host it at your library or local community center. If hosting it outside of your own home then you could also advertise for it in those same places, to even better expand your network.
Building relationships takes time, so don’t be discouraged if you take some of these steps and don’t immediately find yourself with a new best friend. Even small connections are beneficial to our mental health, so be patient and keep on putting yourself out there, and before you know it you will have a stronger and healthier support network than ever.
