According to the CDC, six out of ten Americans live with a chronic disease. Chronic diseases are defined as a condition that lasts for a year or longer and requires ongoing medical attention. They are also something that usually impacts your daily life and activities. Many chronic conditions are the result of a combination of lifestyle factors such as smoking, alcohol use, lack of healthy diet and exercise and/or a genetic predisposition. 

Chronic conditions are the leading cause of illness, disability and even death in not just the United States but all of North America. And many people are dealing with more than one chronic condition at the same time. Some common chronic conditions are type 2 diabetes, COPD, hypertension, cancer, depression, MS and arthritis, but there are many more.

While many chronic conditions can be managed in a way that allows an individual to lead a happy and vibrant life, these conditions are still serious and may have a significant impact on an individual’s ability to perform daily tasks. That’s why creating a comfortable home for an older adult with a chronic condition is so important. Sometimes just a few tweaks to a home or a routine can make all the difference. If you’ve been wondering how you can make your loved one more comfortable then keep on reading.

Update Accessibility Features

Unfortunately, not many homes are built with accessibility in mind. This might be fine for an able bodied person with no chronic conditions, but for someone who is struggling with mobility, sometimes even just the presence of a few steps up to the entryway of their home can present what feels like an insurmountable challenge. While major renovations might not be possible, there are some smaller adjustments that can be made to make a home feel more comfortable and accessible to someone living with a chronic condition that affects their mobility. 

Grab Bars

Grab bars can be incredibly useful for older adults who might be at risk of falls. The National Institute on Aging tells us that one in four older adults fall every year, so anything you can do to lower the risk for your loved one is beneficial. When thinking about where to place grab bars in your loved one’s home you’ll want to focus on areas where they are likely to experience slippery surfaces or have moments where they are not able to balance properly. 

• Showers and bathtubs. The bathroom will likely be the room in the house that requires the most grab bars, as moisture can make a surface much more treacherous. Plus, on top of a slippery surface, individuals also have to navigate getting in and out of a shower or bath, which can throw off their balance. Along with grab bars it’s also a good idea to place a non-slip mat in the shower as well as a shower stool to provide more stability
• Beside toilets. Getting on and off the toilet can be very difficult for older adults with mobility limitations, so having a grab bar placed beside the toilet can help prevent accidents. 
• At the top of the stairs. Not only can getting to the top of a set of stairs be exhausting, but it can also throw off someone’s balance, so having a grab bar at the top of the stairs can provide some much needed support so that the person climbing can catch their breathe and reduce the risk of falling backwards down the stairs, which could result in serious injury or death.
• Along long stretches of walls. You don’t ever want your loved one to be in a situation where they have to walk for long periods of time without support. If there’s a long stretch of space, even if it’s even ground, such as a hallway, then it might be a good idea to place grab bars at strategic intervals or simply install a railing. 

Ramps

While installing a large ramp outside might not be possible, when you’re dealing with just a step or two inside or outside the home, it can be a lot more manageable to replace or cover the steps with a ramp. Of course, the exact cost will depend on the construction of the home and what kind of material you use. But for basic needs you might be looking at something as low as a few hundred dollars. 

Depending on the needs of your loved one you might also look like changes such as a raised toilet seat, or the widening of doorways to accommodate a wheelchair.  It’s always best to chat with your loved one and any support they may have to figure out the best way to move forward with accessibility changes. And, if looking at installing ramps or grab bars, make sure you contract someone who is trained on how to properly install such features. If installed improperly, features such as grab bars could cause serious injuries.  

Proper Home Safety

Proper home safety is a continuation of the work of making a home more accessible, but focuses a bit more on the general state of your loved one’s home. With home safety you want to look at security features such as what kind of emergency alert system your loved one has in place in case of an accident, and whether or not they have an alarm system that can protect them against home robberies. 

Something else to look at is fire alarms, carbon monoxide detectors and slip hazards inside the home. Make sure all alarms are up to date and functioning properly. Secure rugs with non-slip mats or by taping down the corners. Not only will taking all of these steps help to keep your loved one safe, but that safety will also contribute to their comfort. It’s hard to feel comfortable if you’re worried about falling in your home or whether or not you’ll be able to safely handle an emergency. 

Excess stress can make mental health conditions worse and can also worsen the immune system. While there might be many reasons why a person might feel stressed, an unsafe home is something that is completely manageable, so why not help take that stress off of your loved one’s plate?

Ensure Proper Nutrition

Not only are some chronic conditions the result of poor nutrition, but many chronic conditions make it much more difficult for individuals to have the energy to cook healthy meals. Exhaustion and depression can make it a lot more likely that someone will reach for something easy and comforting, such as a fat and carb heavy macaroni and cheese or some deep fried pastries. While it’s important to eat treats for pleasure every once and awhile, the importance of good nutrition cannot be overstated. In fact, one of the first comments the World Health Organization makes about diet is how crucial it is for maintaining good health and limiting the chances of developing chronic diseases. 

If you are concerned about your loved one’s nutrition then you might consider connecting them with a registered dietician who is well versed in the kinds of needs that your loved one’s chronic condition requires. From there you can offer further support by helping them with cooking meals and getting used to making whatever nutrition adjustments they need to make. Many older adults can struggle with the idea of changing their diets. They might feel angry and resentful at the need to stop eating some of their favorite foods. However, a lot of diet changes can be successful as long as the necessary time is taken to learn how to make a new diet exciting and delicious. Perhaps this can be a time for the two of you to bond and learn some new recipes together. You can also help by taking them grocery shopping to make sure their house is filled with diet-suitable tasty snacks. If healthy food is readily available when someone is hungry then they’ll be a lot more likely to reach for it. Sometimes a barrier to healthy living can simply be the step of having to chop a few veggies or slice some low fat cheese. If that’s already prepped and available in the fridge then it suddenly isn’t such a big deal. 

Something else to consider is the possibility of signing your loved one up for a meal delivery service.There are many meal delivery programs that are specifically targeted towards conditions such as diabetes. This takes all of the stress of meal planning out of someone’s life. Instead diet appropriate meals are regularly portioned out and delivered and all your loved one needs to do is pop it in the microwave. Contact your local center for older adults or speak to a dietician to find out what is available in your area. 

Housekeeping

While doing regular cleaning or taking out the garbage might not seem like a major task for you, for an older adult with a chronic condition the energy those tasks require might mean that’s all they are able to get done in one day, which leaves them with no energetic reserves left to do more enjoyable activities. 

That’s why bringing in a regular cleaner can make a major difference in an older adult’s life. Yes, it is an additional expense, but as long as a cleaner comes in regularly, the costs can often stay quite low, since the house will be consistently maintained. It’s when things get out of hand and you’re dealing with pests, hazardous mold or hoarding that cleaning is going to start getting astronomically expensive. 

However, if a cleaner is outside of your budget then you might get together with friends and family and agree to supporting your loved one with a cleaning schedule that you all contribute to. While it might be too much for you to take on a weekly cleaning shift, it is probably doable to help clean once a month, or to go in as a team and each commit to doing one or two tasks. 

A clean house is much more comfortable to live in for anyone, but can also help to manage conditions such as asthma, which can flare up in houses that are not regularly cleaned and dusted. 

Plan Regular Visits

While you might not think of socialization as something you would do to make a house more comfortable just take a moment to think about what really makes a house a home. Yes, it might be furniture you love or the way the sun shines in through the kitchen window in the morning, but it’s also about all the memories you make it in. People with chronic conditions can often spend so much time focusing on their health that they miss out on what makes life so wonderful: the people they love.  

Chronic conditions can leave older adults feeling isolated at home, so make sure you counter that by planning regular visits to make sure they know they are valued and loved. Coordinate with other family and friends to ensure your loved one is getting enough attention and socialization and is never left at home alone for long without someone checking in. 

Medication Management

Some chronic conditions require multiple forms of medication to be taken each day, which can sometimes be difficult for some older adults to keep track of. To alleviate the stress of keeping track you might help them set up a tracking system that works for them. This might be through labeled pill cases, alarms or calendars. You could also look into whether or not there are available supports available to them, which might look like a support worker coming to their house to help administer their medication. This way your loved one can relax knowing that their meds are being taken care of and you can relax knowing that they are not going to miss a dose of crucial medicine.  

Focus on Needs

Finally, one of the most important things you can do when thinking about how to make your loved one’s home more comfortable is to stop thinking and do some asking! Go directly to your loved one and ask what they need to make their home more comfortable. Of course safety and general health is important, but they might have unexpected needs that you would never think of unless you ask. Maybe they need some more stools in their home to make it easier to sit down any time they need. Perhaps they need an extra throw blanket because the one they have doesn’t keep their toes warm. Maybe they’d like a cart with wheels so that they don’t have to worry about dropping a plate when moving their dinner between rooms. Grab a cup of coffee and sit down to make a list together. Sometimes just the smallest little detail can make someone dramatically more comfortable. 

No matter what you do it’s very likely that your loved one will still have days that are painful or uncomfortable. On those days the best thing you can do is just be there for them and any needs they may have. If you’ve opened up the lines of communication and show that you care then it’ll be a lot more likely that you’ll find a solution quickly so that they can get back to living a comfortable life. 

Winter can be a magical time of the year. The world looks beautiful blanketed in snow, and there are lots of great events that happen during the winter months. Plus, there’s no better time to break out all of your favorite winter recipes, such as delicious gingerbread cookies, hearty soups and satisfying casseroles. 

However, despite all of the positives present in winter, there are a lot of risks that present themselves when it comes to cold weather, especially for older members of society. 

This is something that caregivers should pay special attention to to ensure the older adults in their care do everything they can to mitigate the risks involved with winter weather. Of course always be sure to pay attention to anything you think might be dangerous to your loved one, so this is by no means an exhaustive list, but the following ten points should help you look out for some of the most common hazards faced by older adults during this season. 

1. Have a Plan When Going Outside

Every older adult is going to experience a different level of fitness and ability when it comes to aging. Some might still comfortably shovel snow or maintain their garden, while others might only make occasional outings. Regardless of what kind of activity level your loved one engages in, it’s important to make sure they have a plan in place for when they are going outside or doing any kind of physical activity, especially if it’s taking place in cold weather. 

Even if your loved one is still quite active, it’s still very possible for them to fall, especially if they are outside on an icy surface. While a fall can certainly be dangerous at any time of year, it is even more so when you add in the element of life-threatening temperatures. If your loved one isn’t able to stand back up on their own, or if they suffer an injury that makes it impossible for them to do so, then a fall could quickly turn into a life or death situation. During the winter there are not as many people out and about, so it is less likely that someone would hear them call for help. If your loved one happens to be out of sight when they fall, such as in their backyard, the chance is even less likely, as they might be too weak to call for help, or unheard even if they are. 

That’s why it’s so important to have a plan in place during outdoor activities. This might look like arranging a phone call with you or a neighbor to make sure someone is aware of their movements and when they will be back inside, so that an alert can be put out if they are not heard from by the agreed upon time. This might look like setting up your loved one with an emergency alert device that they can easily press in the case of a fall, or that might even be able to detect a fall without assistance and will immediately place a call to emergency services when a fall happens. 

The right system is something you and the older adult you care for can decide on together, but it’s always good to have a plan to make sure they get back inside safely. 

2. Proper Shoes

If you live in a place where it’s cold in the winter, then there’s a good chance you have slipped while out walking at least once in your life. And, while an occasional fall on the ice might not be a big deal to someone young, for an older adult a surprising fall on a wintery walkway could have devastating consequences that could lead to a chronic injury and sometimes even death. That’s why purchasing appropriate shoes is very important for all older adults. While even the best footwear can still sometimes fail, older adults have a much better chance of avoiding falls if they have shoes with appropriate traction. Plus a good winter boot will keep feet warm and secure, which is something else that should be considered when thinking about how to keep your loved one safe. 

Wirecutter recently offered a great list on some of the best rated men and womens’ winter boots for you to take a look through, and the National Council on Aging offers a sobering look at fall statistics and other ways that you can help your loved one avoid them. 

3. Emergency Bag

Winter can mean the start of some violent and unpredictable weather, which can often mean unexpected power outages. You don’t want your loved one to be struggling to locate supplies in a dark house, so make sure they are well equipped to handle a sudden outage, and safely survive until help comes. This looks like putting flashlights in easily accessible locations such as a bedside table, in the front entrance and in a kitchen drawer. You should also have an emergency bag that has blankets, ready to eat food like crackers and tuna, some fresh water, extra batteries, and, if your loved one uses a cell phone, a portable charger that is regularly charged. If your loved one has a landline then that may still be accessible during a power outage, but there’s no guarantee so it’s always a good idea to have a way to charge a cell phone at least once so that they still contact you. Sometimes power outages might happen due to an accident and not just a storm, and if they have no way to contact you then you wouldn’t think to check!

If your loved one still drives they should also carry an emergency bag in their car in case of a breakdown or if they get stranded in the snow. Just a few blankets and a little bit of food might make the difference when it comes to them lasting through the night.

4. Dress Warmly

El Camino Health tells us that older adults tend to struggle with staying warm enough. This is because as we age we struggle to maintain our body temperature the way we used to, so older adults are much more likely to be negatively impacted by a cooler temperature, even if it might not seem too cold for other people.

To help prevent unpleasant effects of the cold, it’s a good idea to encourage your loved one to dress in several warm and cozy layers. This way they can always take off a layer if they get too warm, but don’t have to worry about getting chilly while out on a walk or enjoying time spent at home. It’s also helpful to cover as much of the body as possible, as any exposed skin will let heat from your body escape. This means nice, warm socks, gloves, hats and scarves on top of everything else. Something else to consider is the kind of materials your loved one wears. Wool and down are going to provide a lot more warmth than some synthetics, and it’s better to have loose layers than anything that’s too tight. If the layers are too close together they might actually make your loved one colder, while loose layers will allow some air to get trapped in between the layers, which acts as a kind of insulation. 

5. Stay Well-Fed and Hydrated

Our bodies use up a lot of resources to keep us warm during chilly weather, which means it’s more important than ever to make sure we’re staying properly nourished and hydrated. 

Penn State suggests not only drinking a lot of water, but also finding hydration through herbal teas, low fat milk and tasty winter soups. Proper hydration can help protect against hypothermia, so it’s particularly important for older adults, who are more susceptible to getting cold, to stay well hydrated.  

6. Watch Out for SAD

Seasonal Affective Disorder, also known as seasonal depression, is a type of depression that usually appears in the fall and can last through the winter. This condition is similar to other forms of depression and can look like exhaustion, sadness and a general disinterest in regular activities. Thankfully there are many ways to help treat this condition, which include light therapy, medication, therapy and vitamin D. 

Any type of depression can be incredibly serious and should be tended to immediately, so look out for symptoms in the older adult you care for so that you can get them help when they need it. Outside of treatment, it’s also a good idea to make sure you have fun activities planned for your loved one so they have events to look forward to, as that can really help to boost their mood.

7. Check Safety Equipment

As people move into colder weather, heat usage goes up, which can mean an increased risk of fires and carbon monoxide leaks. While of course any heating devices should be well maintained, it’s also important to make sure your loved one has fire and carbon monoxide detectors placed appropriately around their home and that they are up to date and have functioning batteries. Detectors usually have a 5-10 year lifespan, so if you can’t remember the last time they were changed then they’re probably due to be replaced. Check the manufacturer’s instructions to find out where they should be placed and maintained. 

While you’re checking for detectors, it’s a good time to make sure safety bars, railings and rugs are all safely secured to avoid falls. And, if your loved one has  a fireplace then you should make sure their chimney has been cleaned recently. Some people avoid maintaining these items because of the cost, but nothing is worth risking one’s life!

8. Clear Walkways

Another good way to help your loved one avoid falls is by ensuring that their walkways are regularly cleared of snow and salted or sanded as needed. There are many snow clearing services available in different states that usually come with a promise to clear walkways and driveways within a certain amount of time after a snowfall. If your loved one insists on still shoveling make sure you have that suggested emergency plan, mentioned above, in place, and see if you can offer any help so that they don’t overexert themselves. In some areas clearning a walkway might require cutting through ice, which might be too intensive an activity for some older adults. 

9. Be Mindful of Space Heaters

Space heaters can be a great way to stay warm during the winter, but if used improperly they can pose a major fire hazard. 

Thankfully, Consumer Reports lays out several tips to help people use them appropriately, these tips include:

• Keeping heaters three feet away from anything flammable, like furniture
• Never plugging one into an extension cord or into an outlet that is already powering something else
• Never running them in a space with anything combustible such as paint cans
• Always turning them off when in another room or when going to bed for the night

The last one can be particularly tempting, as many people might hope to keep a space heater running at night, but the risk is just too great. Instead, make sure your loved one has warm pajamas and lots of comfortable bedding to keep them nice and cozy at night. Socks and a hot water bottle that is securely closed can also help keep older adults warm through the night.

10. Stay Up to Date with Health Recommendations 

Finally, a good suggestion to help your loved one stay safe winter is by making sure they stay up to date with all of their medical needs. This means making time for regular doctor check-ups, staying up to date on medication and vitamins, and taking suggested immunizations to help protect them against serious illnesses. 

Winter is well known for being the cold and flu season, so be sure to follow health recommendations, as older adults are much more likely to develop a serious illness when exposed to something that might not be a big deal to you. That’s why it’s also a good idea to limit your contact with your loved one, or consider wearing a mask to help protect against the spread of germs. Being sure to thoroughly wash your hands after being out in public, blowing your nose, coughing or using the bathroom is also a very good practice, and you should encourage your loved one to do the same. Harvard lays out some good tips for good hand hygiene, which include washing for one minute with soap and warm water, and using hand lotion to avoid cracks from dry skin that could allow in bacteria. 

While soup and water is the best way to clean hands, especially if there’s actually dirt on them, hand sanitizer is still a good tool, especially when out and about when you don’t have access to a sink. A no name brand is affordable and a small bottle can easily be slipped into a bag or a car to keep with you. 

Remember, this is not a definitive list, so be sure to step in if you notice other ways that your loved one could be safer in the wintertime, but hopefully these tips give you a great starting place and help keep everyone safe during this beautiful season.

Seasonal depression, also known as seasonal affective disorder, affects around 5% of US citizens every year. And, while 5% might not seem like a look when you are just looking at the percentage, when you put that into numbers that’s more than 17 million people! Of course, depression of any kind is a serious matter, but for older adults who might already be facing mental health issues and feelings of isolation, it can hit even harder. So, that’s why it’s so important for you to be able to understand and recognize the signs of seasonal depression in your parents so that you can get them the help they need. But, before we get to how you can address the symptoms of this condition, let’s make sure you fully understand which signs to look out for. 

Although some people get seasonal depression in the summer, it’s much more common in the fall and winter. While there’s no firm cause behind this, there are some solid theories. John Hopkins tells us that it is thought that the shorter days and decrease in sunlight may create a chemical change in our brains that could impact our mental state. It’s also been proposed that an increase in melatonin production, due to the increased darkness, could also be a contributing factor. 

Regardless of the reasoning behind it, the simple truth is that millions of people are struggling with this condition in the US every year, so, here are the signs to look out for. 

• Lack of interest in daily routine or activities they once enjoyed. While everyone has an “off” day from time to time, you’ll want to look out for signs that your parent seems be disinterested in life in general, even in activities that they typically look forward to. 
• Trouble concentrating. Your parent might be easily distracted and unable to stay on task or keep a conversation going. 
• Anxiety. Your parent might be fixating on their worries or seem particularly skittish. 
• Irritability. You might find that your parent is lashing out and having mood swings, or just seems much more grouchy than usual. 
• Sleepiness. If you notice that your parent always seems to be exhausted, even if they’re gotten enough sleep, then that might be a sign that they’re experiencing seasonal depression. Another symptom might be sleeping a lot more than normal. 
• Weight gain. This might go hand in hand with an increased desire for lots of heavy meals and sugary products. 

Of course, there might be other symptoms of seasonal depression that have not been listed here, but these are some of the most common symptoms that people experience. 

Now that you are aware of some of the symptoms that might be present with this condition, let’s get into how you can address this issue with your parents. 

First of all, it’s important to recognize that these kinds of symptoms can be the result of many different mental health conditions, or due to some changes in environment or lifestyle, that’s why the most important thing to do first is…

Ask Questions

It’s easy to assume you know what’s wrong with someone, especially if that person is close to you. However, you can’t truly know the truth unless you ask, so get curious about your parent and what has been going on lately. You don’t need to make this a serious intervention (unless you feel like the issue has gotten to that point), instead this can simply be a casual conversation over coffee. You might start by saying something like “I noticed that you seem to be extra tired lately, has anything been going on?” Of course, certain topics might be more sensitive than others, so maybe veer away from commenting on your parent’s weight or telling them that they’ve seemed grumpy, as that might result in them becoming defensive. Instead, make sure you’re coming from a place of genuine kindness and concern, and really listen to their answers. There might be a totally logical reason for their symptoms, like they’re tired from reading a really good book, or they’re grumpy because they had a cold or received some disappointing news recently. 

If there seems to be a reasonable explanation for their symptoms then simply keep an eye on it to see if they resolve, and if not then you might suggest that they consider visiting a doctor to see if they might be struggling with seasonal depression.

Encourage a Doctor’s Visit

While there are many treatments available to help with seasonal depression, most of them are only available, or best prescribed with the help of a medical professional. Every person who experiences seasonal depression is unique, so what might make a good treatment for one person is not necessarily going to be the best fit for someone else. Plus, it’s always a good idea to visit a doctor to make sure the symptoms your parent is experiencing really is seasonal depression, and not something else. And, the earlier your parent gets help the better, as the condition can worsen if left untreated. 

Once you have determined that your parent is indeed suffering from seasonal depression, and that there’s nothing else at play, you can look at how best to manage the condition. As mentioned above, a doctor is the best place to turn to first, as they will likely recommend some combination of the following strategies. However, some of the following treatments can be done without a doctor’s assistance, and are generally good health practices to follow no matter if you’re dealing with seasonal depression or not!

Light Therapy

Light therapy is basically the gold standard when it comes to wintertime seasonal depression. This means getting the most amount of sun possible, which can be tricky during the winter when the days are a lot shorter. 

In order to achieve this, try to get outside as early as possible, preferably before 11 am, and attempt to spend at least 30 minutes outside (although longer is totally fine) each day. Many people in the United States have a deficiency of vitamin D, which is a vitamin we get when our skin is exposed to the sun. This can affect our mood, our sleep and our body’s natural rhythm. Exposure to the sun also seems to reduce stress levels, boost the immune system and lower the risk of bone fractures! Not too bad for that big, old star!

This writer with Health experimented with having 15 minutes of dedicated sun time each day for a month and ended the experiment with an improved feeling of happiness. 

Of course, don’t forget to use sunscreen when enjoying the sun’s rays. 

Another way you can get the benefit of light therapy is through the use of a sun lamp or light box. These are light devices that are specifically designed to provide a light that will mimic the experience of sunlight so that you get the same benefits of the sun, but you can time your exposure to fit with your schedule. Light boxes can be very helpful to use in combination with sun exposure, in an area where there is very few hours of daylight, or in a place that might be too cold for you to be able to spend much time inside. While these can be very useful tools, it’s always advisable to consult with a doctor before use to find the right one for your needs, as well as when and how long to use it. The Mayo Clinic provides some good advice for what to consider when buying a light box. 

Eat Well

Remember how one of the signs of seasonal depression might be noticing your parent suddenly has quite the appetite for carbs and sweets? That’s quite a common symptom of depression, seasonal or otherwise. When we’re not feeling our best, it’s very easy to want to reach for the unhealthiest option, even if we know it’s going to make us feel worse. 

This becomes even more difficult when our sleep has been impacted, because when we’re feeling lethargic and low-energy we look to sugar as a comfort and an immediate boost of energy, even if we know it will come with a total crash a few hours later. 

While it can certainly be difficult to maintain a healthy diet while dealing with seasonal depression, it can be one of the most important tools at your disposal. You can help your parent by offering to meal plan or even prepare some of their meals for them. You can also run them through helpful ingredients for them to consider, such as the foods on this list by Everyday Health. Your parent might not make an overnight switch to a completely healthy diet, but even if they add in some extra vegetables and legumes it could make a huge difference to their mental state. 

Some handy tricks for adding in healthier foods is to prep a large batch of veggies at the beginning of the week so they can easily be tossed into different meals. Soups and stews are also very handy as you can pack in a lot of fiber and protein and you can freeze them in batches to be taken out when needed. 

CNET also talks about the important role that hydration plays supporting our mental health, so don’t leave that out of the conversation when talking about seasonal depression with your parent. Proper hydration can help with focus and keeping anxiety levels in check, plus it’s extra important to drink enough during the winter to help the body stay warm. Encourage your parent to drink a glass of water first thing in the morning, and maybe suggest they carry a water bottle with them throughout the day so they can keep track of how much they drink.

Get Social

One of the best cures to a blue mood is to surround yourself with people that make you smile. In fact, there’s actually some science behind how even just the simple act of smiling can turn around your mood. However, one of the best ways to smile naturally is by spending time with family and friends, so encourage your parent to get out there!

Being social is going to mean something different to everyone. Your parent might prefer to have a lowkey coffee date with a friend, or to simply surround themselves with others while taking in a movie or going to an aquafit class. Or, they might prefer a conversation group or going out to a busy mall to walk ad shop. Whatever they prefer, try to get them out to do it. Many people with seasonal depression tend to withdraw from others, which can make them increasingly isolated, which tends to make feelings of depression even worse, so try to guide your parent away from that path. You might even suggest a weekly outing with yourself. Maybe you invite them over for dinner or a board game night, or out to one of their favorite local spots. Humans thrive when they have purpose and are part of a community, so help your parent find that. 

Something else to consider is encouraging your parent to talk to a therapist, as they might be able to help your parent work through some of their concerns and even give them specific homework on how to manage their feelings. 

Movement

Another great way to keep seasonal depression at bay is by participating in consistent exercise. Just as those who are tired and sad are more likely to reach for sweets, it’s also very common for those same people to want to lie on the couch all day, or maybe not even get out of bed at all. 

Now, starting up an exercise routine when you don’t feel motivated is no easy task, so this article from Vice offers some great tips. These include setting realistic goals, and only participating in the kind of exercise you like. So, don’t try to impose your idea of what your parent should do on to them. If they love walking or dancing to hits from the 60s then that is the best kind of exercise for them to do right now. Any exercise is better than none at all!

Medication and Supplements

Finally, your doctor may suggest you take some kind of meditation or vitamin supplements to help alleviate some of your depression symptoms. Of course this is only something you should participate in under the advice of a doctor, so don’t run to the vitamin shop and grab a bunch of magnesium just because you heard someone else tell you that it worked wonders for them. 

When visiting the doctor let your parent know that they should be as open as possible about what they’ve been experiencing. It can sometimes feel embarrassing to be so honest, but it will be hard for the doctor to give them appropriate guidance if they don’t have the full story of how they’re feeling. Being transparent will help them get the help that they need. 

Seasonal depression is a challenging condition to deal with, but if you pay attention to your parent’s symptoms and get them the help they need there is no reason that they shouldn’t be able to get back to their normal self and start to thrive again. 

Caregiving for a loved one introduces many changes into you and your family’s life. The addition of a dependent, whether it’s the first one or you have many others, puts a strain on all areas of your life. Your social life stalls, your career can feel impossible, time for yourself is minimized, if existent, and, perhaps more all consuming than anything else, caring for someone else can put a lot of stress on your finances. 

Most of the time family members step in as a caregiver because the option to arrange live-in care is not available. Live-in caregivers are expensive, as outlined by A Place for Mom, and so quite often the natural step is to appoint yourself as the person responsible for your loved one’s every need. 

If you are already overwhelmed by the added financial pressure of caring for someone else then you are in the right place. Even better if you are not yet in this position but see it becoming a not too distant reality. The sooner you make changes to your financial lifestyle, the better off you’ll be in the long term. However, the second best time is now, so if you feel a little behind, try not to get discouraged. It’s never too late to turn things around. 

First off, let’s talk about exactly what a budget is and why it’s important. A budget is taking a look at your expected revenue for each month or the year. If you have a consistent job then you can write down the amount your paychecks are each month. If you freelance or have a variable income, then do the best, and lowest, predictions you can. If you make $1200-$3000 each month then plan for the lowest amount. It’s easy to figure out what to do with extra money, but it’s a lot harder to navigate around money that doesn’t exist. 

Once you’ve determined your income, from there you should input and plan your expenses. There are a few different kinds of expenses to think about here:

• Fixed. This type of expense is the same each time, and is usually going to happen on a recurring basis. Fixed expenses might include your rent, internet bill, lease payments. 
• Variable. Variable expenses can change with use, need or time. For example, you might know that you will need to buy gas for your car, but the exact amount might vary each month. 

A good way to get started on a budget, especially if you’ve never tried making one before, is to write down as much as you can about your finances. Start with your known income and any fixed, recurring expenses. Then add in anything that might be variable, but are still expenses you know you are going to have each month. These types of expenses might include groceries, toiletries, and entertainment, such as takeout or a movie night. Use receipts, your bank statement, credit card and other bills to help you paint a picture of what your general expenses look like. Once you have collected as much of your spending habits as possible it’s time to get down to business. Try not to let judgement get in the way of this process. You might feel ashamed about some of the items you spend money on, but look at you taking this important step to better your habits and develop a healthier relationship with money! This step is just to help you better analyze your habits so that you can figure out how to save money for what is truly important. 

Prioritize

Once you have laid out your expenses, it’s time to start prioritizing what you can and can not live without. Of course basic needs such as rent or a mortgage, utilities and your phone bill are essentials, as are groceries. 

Now that you have also taken on the role of caregiver, some bills will likely increase, such as grocery and utility bills. There might also be healthcare costs associated with your loved one’s care that also have to be added into your budget plan. Of course, the hope is that your loved one is able to contribute in some way to their care, but in some situations that support might be minimal or non-existent. 

It may take a little bit of time to discover all the extra expenses that come with the loved one you’re caring for, so keep track of everything you can. Some common expenses that come up when caring for older adults include:

• Health expenses. Your loved one might require meditation, mobility devices, renovations to the home, etc…
• Transportation costs. You’ll want to calculate the cost of gas, bus tickets or taxis that are needed to get your loved one to appointments. This will obviously be variable, but some appointments might happen at regular intervals so the associated costs can be reasonably predicted.
• Additional care. While you might be the primary caregiver, you might be in a situation where additional care, like a physical therapist, comes in to do exercises with your loved one. Or you might have someone come to assist with medication or bathing. These expenses should also be calculated into your budget.

Now that you have made a list of all the expenses you need, it’s time to tend to the more enjoyable items, and write down all of your wants. These are expenses that you technically could live without, but that you feel like you want to keep due to their positive impacts on your quality of life. This might look like a subscription to a streaming service, or grabbing a coffee every morning. 

It’s helpful to see everything laid out before, because not only does it make you look at what you spend your money on, but it can also help you realize what’s truly important to you in life. For some people going out to dinner once a week is something very important, but you might prefer to skip dinner and instead enjoy a coffee and a donut a couple of times a week. Once you actually take the time to sit down and look at what you need and want and compare it against the money that is actually available to you, you might discover that some things don’t matter quite as much as you thought they did. 

Trim Where You Can

Before you despair at the thought of never being able to afford to go out with your friends ever again, take a look at your expenses and see if there is anywhere that you can trim your expenses while still getting to enjoy the same type of life you were previously. 

Call your cell phone provider and see if there’s any way to adjust your plan. Maybe you never use up your data or the amount of texts allocated to you. You might also look at changing over to a family plan or even switching to a different provider with a better offer. 

If you have debt you might look into whether or not you can lower your interest rate, or can consolidate if you have several amounts owing. 

Maybe ask other family members if they want to split a streaming service, or take turns hosting weekly dinners instead of going out to eat. And sometimes it’s the small things that really add out. Maybe you still go out to eat but only get a main, and skip the drink and appetizer. 

People can sometimes be resistant to anything that changes their lifestyle, but managing your finances today can help you better grow your wealth so that you can be comfortable in the future. 

Set Reasonable Goals

The best goals to set are the ones we are going to be able to achieve. Sure, you might want to put a thousand dollars into savings each month and only spend $100 on groceries, but that probably isn’t realistic for most people (and if it is, please tell us where you live and what grocery store you shop at!). Instead, once you’re looked through your expenses and categorized them into needs and wants, write down realistic parameters for how you are going to budget. 

A popular method is what is known as the 50-30-20 budget, laid out in detail on Investopedia. This is a budget that suggests you separate your after tax income into 50% needs, 30% wants and 20% goes into savings. While this budget isn’t going to be the right fit for everyone, it gives you a good guideline of how you might want to manage your finances. If you’re spending 60% of your money on things you want, and aren’t putting any money into savings, then you could easily run into trouble down the road. 

A reasonable goal is something that is not only realistic, but also something that can still allow you to live a comfortable life. Let’s go back to coffee. Maybe you absolutely love fancy coffees, but you realized that your budget simply doesn’t allow it, so you start making coffee at home. Well, just because getting daily fancy coffees is unaffordable, doesn’t mean that investing in a few fancy syrups or creamers is! Getting a hazelnut creamer and some chocolate sauce will yes, be a little bit more money at the grocery store, but will allow you to have enjoyable coffees for several weeks, or even months, at a much lower cost. 

Or maybe you love going to the gym, but the monthly gym rate has gotten out of hand. Instead, maybe you can find a better deal at the community recreation center. They often have very affordable memberships that include a range of classes and access to a swimming pool! You might even find that you can build community at local events that are often advertised on the message boards there. 

Don’t just get rid of everything you love and expect yourself to be able to stick with it, because that’s just not realistic. Instead, if something is really important to you, find a way to either cut down on other costs, or adjust the cost you love to make it a little bit more manageable for you. It’s hard to be a good caregiver if you’re not able to engage with the things you love, so make sure you’re budgeting with that in mind. NerdWallet has some other great tips on budgeting, with a focus on the 50-30-20 approach. 

Seek Out Community Supports

Sometimes we don’t get help unless we ask for it, and fortunately, there are often a lot of people out there who are willing to give it. A great first step is reaching out to a seniors’ center to ask if there are any community resources that are available to you or your loved one. This might look like a shuttle service that can help cut down on transportation costs, or fitness classes for older adults that are offered for little or no cost.

You might also look into any discounts or coupons that are available to local stores to help with grocery costs, or even discounts to entertainment such as half priced tickets to movies on Tuesdays, or a local diner that has 5 dollar appies on weekdays. If there’s a place you frequently patronize it might even be worth just giving them a call to ask if they offer any support to caregivers and the older adults they care for. Worst case you’ll get a no and move on. 

The saying “it takes a village” has a lot of value, so don’t feel like you have to go through this alone. By reaching out to your community you can better stay on top of your finances as a caregiver, and find others who are going through the same challenges that you are. 

Finally, it’s important to also do your research on what government support might be available to your loved one. If they are dealing with any kind of cognitive impairment, or if they are struggling with an illness that developed suddenly, then they might not have had enough time to research what kind of assistance they qualify for, and you don’t want to be missing out on extra financial support just because you didn’t know about it! Senior Services of America lays out some benefits and savings that may be available to the older adult you care for, but they emphasize the importance of also checking within your specific state, as they may be additional benefits that are only available to residents of certain locations. 

It can be a challenge to adjust to a brand new budget, so have patience for yourself. It can be helpful to keep track of your expenses with an app on your phone, or by collecting your receipts and going through them each week. Don’t be too disappointed if you make mistakes in the beginning, but don’t shy away from them. It’s easy for people who are struggling with their finances to try to ignore them. However, burying your head in the sand has never led to a positive outcome. Engage with your finances regularly, and soon you will find yourself calmer and in more control. Who knows, before long you might be back to buying those fancy hazelnut coffees in person.

The time has come to buy the champagne (or that inexpensive bottle of sparkling wine, because the bubbles are all that really matter), countdown from 10, and ring in a new year. 

The end of the year can be emotional for a lot of people, especially caregivers. It’s inevitable to want to go through your year and analyze whether or not you’ve accomplished “enough.” It’s hard not to compare ourselves to others and scrolling through social media you’re going to see a lot of highlight reels. 

The truth is that as a caregiver you might spend so much time focused on the older adult you’re caring for that you might not have had a lot of time to focus on yourself. You might not have even had the time to set any goals at all! And, while just getting through the year is accomplishment enough, it does feel good when you can look back at your year and see that you achieved some of the things you set out to do. 

So, as we head into 2025, why not make a list of goals for yourself? These goals might be about how to be a better caregiver, or simply how to take better care of yourself, but all of them should be about how you can feel your best and head into the following year with a sense of pride and satisfaction. 

Before we get into the five goals you might want to consider making for 2025, let’s talk a little bit about what you want to think about when setting goals. A good rule to follow is to think about making SMART goals. And no, that doesn’t mean an intelligent goal (although, let’s be honest, any goal you’re making is probably going to be intelligent, because it’s being made by you). SMART is a way of setting goals that is used all over the world, and it’s a useful tool to help make your goals more achievable. Here’s what the acronym stands for:

S – Specific. Make your goal as specific as possible. What do you want to achieve and what do you need to do to get there? For example, a vague goal might be “be healthier” but a specific goal could be to “add a vegetable to every meal” or “walk for at least 15 minutes every day.”

M – Measurable. How can you measure your progress? Taking from the example of walking above, if you wanted to walk at least 15 minutes you could keep track with a fitness watch or a note in your phone. 

A – Achievable. We’ve all probably been guilty of making overly ambitious new years resolutions, like “I’m going to run five miles every day” when we have never even run for five minutes. But, an achievable goal could be to sign up for a five mile race in September, and start training in January. That’s also specific and measurable!

R – Relevant. Does the goal you’re making make sense to the longer-term goals you want to achieve in your life, whether personally or professionally? You should only make this goal if it’s important to you and what you want out of your life, not because of some sense of obligation to anyone else. 

T – Time-bound. It’s important to have some kind of end date to your goal, otherwise it can be easy to avoid working on it. Our brains love deadlines!

For more information on SMART goals, check out this excellent guide from the University of California.

Now that we’ve talked about how to frame your goals, let’s look at some possible ideas for what to aim for in 2025!

1. Start a Gratitude Practice

It’s no secret that many caregivers struggle with their mental health. It’s a demanding job on its own, but add it onto other commitments like taking care of kids, or finding time to still pursue your career and it can quickly begin to feel unmanageable. While there are many ways to take care of your mental health, focusing on gratitude has been shown, by the National Alliance on Mental Illness, to increase feelings of satisfaction and happiness in one’s life. In fact, documenting happy moments or people or events you are grateful for can possibly even lessen symptoms of depression!

After studying the impacts of gratitude on test subjects, researchers also found that gratitude appears to affect physical health as well. Test subjects who practiced gratitude,  instead of negativity, seemed to make overall healthier choices and also visited their doctors more frequently. This resulted in stronger immune systems and other perks, such as better sleep! Not bad for something that can take as just a few minutes out of each day to do!

There are many ways to practice gratitude, but, if we’re thinking about SMART goals, here are some tips. 

• Gratitude journal. This is one of the most common ways to start a gratitude practice. This consists of putting aside a few minutes each day to write down what you’re grateful for that day. Remember to be as specific as possible. “I’m grateful for my family” is a nice sentiment, but a little general. When journaling it’s a good idea to have a daily goal. This might look like setting a timer for five minutes and free writing, or committing to writing down three things you’re grateful for each day. 
• Weekly gratitude jar. At the end of each week write down your favorite moments and moments you are grateful for. You can then set a time to go through the jar to remind yourself of all the good moments you’ve had. You might choose to empty the jar every month, or wait until the end of the year. Again, it’s a good idea to give yourself a bit of structure by deciding on a minimum number of contributions you make each week. Otherwise, if you’re used to being negative you might be tempted to dismiss the jar and say “nothing good happened this week!” It can be surprising to realize all the good you have in your life when you actually sit down and think about it. 
• Meditation. Many meditation apps offer meditations that are specifically focused on finding gratitude. This is a good way to start altering your thought process throughout your daily life, into one that’s more mindful and present so that you can notice everything you’re grateful for in real time. 

2. Grow Your Skills

One of the great gifts of being human is the ability to continually learn new things. Although some caregivers might have stepped into this job with prior experience (and many others have chosen it as a professional career path) for others, it is very possible that you took on the job of looking after a loved one with no real idea of what you were doing. You’re caring, compassionate and smart, and you’ve figured out a lot along the way, but there’s always more to learn, so why not make that a goal for this year?

If you connect with your local seniors center, hospital or support group, they are likely to be able to point you towards resources in your area that provide courses on how to be a more well-rounded caregiver. This might look like learning to better care for a loved one with dementia, or how to navigate emotional outbursts. 

There are also many classes you might want to explore that can help you become a better caregiver, while also giving you skills you can apply to other areas of your life! This might look like taking a cooking class, or maybe even becoming certified to become a personal trainer so that you know how to properly assist your loved one through a gentle fitness routine, while also keeping yourself active and healthy. 

Continuing your education can give you confidence, improve the relationship you have with the loved one you care for, and can also help boost other areas of your life. So, if there’s something you’d like to improve in, then consider taking a course. Nothing like a certificate to give you the satisfaction of completing a goal!

3. Help Your Loved One Get Their Affairs in Order

The transition into caretaking can often be so overwhelming that the conversation about what to do with a household of items, or whether or not someone has an updated will is often forgotten about until it’s staring you square in the face. 

Of course, it’s natural to feel some hesitancy about broaching these topics. There’s a natural association these tasks have with the end of someone’s life, and that can be difficult to think about, for everyone. However, if you don’t address these matters so they are going to continue hanging around in the back of your mind until you do, and that can add unnecessary stress and anxiety into your life. 

Instead, schedule a time to sit down with your loved one and any other family members or loved ones who should be involved, and discuss these important issues. Be clear about what needs to be addressed, but don’t forget to be gentle and kind. It’s always helpful in these situations to explain why you feel something is important. Make it clear to your loved one that you want to respect their wishes, and that by taking care of these matters now will ensure that things are just as they want them to be, instead of leaving you and other loved ones to try to sort through everything after they’re gone. No one wants to feel like a burden, and helping someone take care of their affairs will help them make sure that they never are. The National Institute on Aging offers a great checklist to look through if you are unsure where to start. 

4. Arrange More Support

Caregiving is not something you should have to do alone. Unfortunately, many adult children who take on caregiving responsibilities for an aging parent often find themselves in a position where they are the only source of care for their loved one, and quickly become burnt out. This might be because you don’t want to burden others, or because you believe you are the only person who is capable of adequately caring for your loved one. 

While there might be specific tasks that you have been trained to oversee, such as the administration of a medication, or helping with physical therapy, it is very unlikely that you are the only person who is able to care for your loved one 24/7, and it’s also very unlikely that you are the only person who wants to help. Most people have bigger support networks than they realize, they just need to ask. Maybe friends and family have already offered help but you haven’t felt comfortable accepting it yet. Well, the time has come!

To begin, take a bit of time to figure out what you need help with, or even better, what you want the time for. Maybe you want a few hours each week so that you can get workouts in, or you want to be able to have a regular date night. Don’t only ask for help for what you need. Make sure you are also prioritizing yourself and what will help bring you joy and stability. 

From there, reach out to your network to see who can commit to regular support. This might be a friend, family member or even another caregiver that you can trade off support with. Make sure your arrangement is clear and that they know what they need so that both of you and your loved one can all feel comfortable so that you can really enjoy that time away. When you take care of yourself you’ll take better care of your loved one!

5. Make Time for Joy

A lot of caregiving can get caught up in serious matters. You wouldn’t be taking care of someone if they had no medical needs, and it can be easy to only focus on doctor appointments and safety concerns. While of course those matters should take priority, it’s also important to remember to make time for joy and fun. In fact, the University of Medicine and Health Sciences tells us that joy is responsible for creating robust physical and mental health, something you might just be in search of right about now.  

Joy can be found in different ways, so figure out what’s right for you and your loved one. Maybe it’s baking together, in which case you might commit to a cupcake or muffin day each week. Perhaps you both love animals, so you might search for silly animal videos or, if possible, go to a local petting zoo. Joy might even be found in something as simple as listening to some beautiful music, or blowing some bubbles and watching them float through the air. Joy doesn’t need to cost a lot of money or take a lot of time, but it’s something that should be sought out and paid attention to, because it will help make your life brighter and more beautiful. 

At the end of the day, you want to make goals that resonate with you and are going to improve your life. So hopefully these suggestions have given you a good springboard from which you can jump into this new year. Here’s to a great one! 

So, the time has come for mom or dad to move into assisted living. This is often a very difficult time in a family’s life, and you and your parent might be experiencing a lot of emotions about this major life transition. 

While it’s completely natural for everyone to have some complicated emotions about this move, the transition itself doesn’t actually have to be painful. With a little bit of planning and discussion you can help your mom or dad find an assisted living facility where they feel comfortable and safe, and you can relax knowing that they are being well taken care of. The following are some tips to help you and your parent find the perfect place for them to enjoy a happy and healthy future. 

Their Needs

The first thing you’ll want to figure out is exactly what kind of support your parent needs. Assisted living is often used as a broad term, so depending on what medical issues your parent is facing, they may be in need of extensive care, or simply a place to build community and have some support with basic tasks. 

There are several living options to consider. Let’s start at the lowest level of support:

Independent Living

Independent living is a living environment where your mom or dad would still be living on their own, but would be living in a building complex that was specifically reserved for retirees. Independent living arrangements usually include amenities such as lunches and dinners, special events and fitness classes. Independent living is a great way for older adults to have a support network of friends and workers nearby while also enjoying support for their daily needs. Most independent living homes also offer light housekeeping and shuttles to nearby grocery centers and malls.

This is the right fit for a older adult who doesn’t have any major medical needs, but who is struggling to maintain a home or growing tired of cooking for themselves. It helps older adults to be more social and live independently for a longer period of time.

Assisted Living

Assisted living can be fairly similar to independent living, where a older adult has their own apartment and is still fairly active, but this kind of living is most suitable for those who require daily care with activities such as bathing or the administration of medication. This might look like a caregiver coming into the apartment every day to help with the specific needs of their client.

Assisted living can also look like a more intensive care experience where everyone in the facility is receiving more focused care. People in assisted living might have an apartment but generally don’t have a kitchen and will usually have all of their meals prepared for them. 

Long Term Care

Long term care is the most intensive out of all of the living arrangements. This is generally reserved for older adults who are experiencing extreme physical or cognitive difficulties. There is a lot of care involved with very hands-on, 24 hour staff, and, if your parent is dealing with a condition like dementia or Alzheimer’s, they will likely be in a locked ward to ensure their safety. 

It’s like that if you are reading this then your parent is firmly in the assisted living category, but it’s always good to know the differences. Sometimes a condition progresses rapidly, or your parent may actually be in much better condition than you thought and might need very little support. Knowing what to expect in the different living situations can help you to know exactly what to look for. Here are a few things to consider:

• How mobile is your parent? Do they need to use a cane, walker or wheelchair
• Is your parent struggling with mental health issues?
• Does your parent have a diagnosed memory disease?
• Does your parent have a complicated medication routine?
• Does your parent require regular physical therapy?
• Can your parent clean their house?
• Can your parent cook healthy, nutritious meals for themselves?
• Can your parent bathe themselves? 

All of these questions should help you figure out the kind of care your parent needs when looking for an appropriate care facility. 

Location

When looking for a care facility for your parent the first thing you’re probably going to think about is the quality of the care home. And, while it’s of course important to find a well-reviewed and comfortable home, the location of that home is almost equally important. 

It can be quite disruptive for older adults to be moved far away from the neighborhood they’re familiar with. In fact, abrupt moves can result in a condition known as relocation stress syndrome. According to Social Work Today, relocation stress syndrome can happen within days, or sometimes even as long as several months after a move. Older adults experiencing this condition might be angry, depressed, and erratic, display aggressive mood swings and a wide range of physical symptoms. These physical symptoms can include a rapid heart rate, weight changes, nausea, poor sleep and increased substance use. 

While sometimes a move is unavoidable, you should always work with your parent and a support worker to make the move as gradual and sympathetic as possible. Most older adults have lived in the same location for many years, and are comfortable in their routines. Ripping them away from that to suddenly be placed in unfamiliar surroundings can be extremely traumatic. This is especially true for older adults who are experiencing memory failure. Research shows that many people, even with cognitive decline, still have a grasp on their long term memory,  but have much more trouble with more recent memories. This makes it very difficult to navigate a new space where they don’t have any established connection. 

That’s why it is not only important to consider the physical location of where your parent ends up, but also what supports will be in place once they arrive there. You will want to ensure there’s a strong support system in place to walk them through this major transition. 

Ratio

While you’re browsing for an appropriate facility, likely using a site like A Place for Mom, you might be tempted by the attractive amenities provided at certain spots. However, something very important to consider is not just what’s on offer, but how many people are providing those services. 

A piece by the National Institute of Nursing Research found that large ratios between nurses and patients (that is, when a single nurse is assigned to a large number of patients) the rates of deaths and rehospitalizations were much higher than if a nurse was assigned a much lower number of patients, and patients were tended to by more medical professionals overall. 

In an ideal situation you will want to look at a ratio of around six patients to one nurse or care worker. Of course, you’ll want to interview any potential facilities, and also look at online reviews of the location. 

Feel

Have you ever heard the term “the vibes were off”? While it might seem silly to base your decision of care off of a vibe, the concept is not totally ridiculous. You can tell a lot by the feeling of a place, which is why it’s always so important to visit facilities in person to understand the kind of environment your parent might experience every day. Here are some of the things you should look for when visiting a home:

• Cleanliness of the establishment. Walls, floors and bathrooms should be clean and dry. There shouldn’t be any dirt or trip hazards. You should also inquire about ventilation and how often vents are cleaned. Proper ventilation is a key component of keeping sickness at bay, and can also help with symptoms of asthma and other breathing issues. 
• Cleanliness and attitude of the residents. You should look for residents who seem clean and well cared for. Do they look happy and seem to have good relationships with the staff? If any of the residents seem scared or withdrawn, especially in their interactions with staff, then that is cause for concern.
• Safety procedures. Check to see what policies are in place for a disruptive patient, a cognitively impaired resident who leaves a secure area, and what happens when a contagious illness begins to spread throughout the facility. 

Vibes can be incorrect, but it is still important to trust your gut. If something feels off then that usually means it is. Don’t ignore that feeling. After all, it’s your parent’s health that is at stake. 

What’s Important to Your Parent

While delicious meals might be your top priority, that might not actually be the most important thing for your mom or dad. So, sit down and talk to them and find out what they care about most when thinking about the best assisted living facility for them. They might want to enjoy a good social life, so looking for a place with a bustling event calendar and lots of community lounges would be a good choice. Maybe they want to make sure there’s a chapel so that they have somewhere to pray, or a barber or hair salon so they can regularly look their best. 

Don’t push them if their idea of a comfortable home doesn’t match yours. Just think about the dignity you’d want to be granted if you were in their position. While you might not be able to grant all of their wishes, it’s important to do your best to find something that ticks some of their boxes. Your attention and understanding will mean a lot to them. 

Cost

Of course, a lot of your decision making during this process is going to come down to cost. Many assisted living facilities are expensive, and you might be limited to homes that accept Medicare. Always be sure to speak with an insurance provider to find out what kind of care your loved one is eligible for, and speak to any potential facilities as well, to make sure you’re not going to end up paying for any hidden fees. Think about finding a facility the same way you would search for a house. Sure, there might be features you would like, but what is it that you can truly not live without. Deal breakers are a helpful way to find the best spot. If you haven’t taken the time to go through dealbreakers with your loved one then you might miss out on an amazing spot because you thought something was a deal breaker when it was really just a preference.

Cultural Comfort

Our world is made up of billions of people with different backgrounds and experiences. While it’s always good to interact and make friends out of people who are different from you, it can also be important to have a network of people who understand the same cultural experience as you. There’s a camaraderie and a shorthand that people from the same backgrounds face that people outside of it just might not understand, and if you don’t have anyone to share that with then it can be isolating. Of course, there are many ways to share culture, whether that’s someone from the same race, the same religion, the same sexuality or even from the same state. When thinking about an assisted living facility it’s important to find out whether or not your loved one will experience any kind of cultural isolation that could be damaging for them in that space. If someone isn’t free to be themselves, then it’s easy to become withdrawn, and that can be extremely detrimental to one’s mental health. 

Consider the Long Term

When thinking about appropriate living arrangements for your loved one it’s important to think about the trajectory of the rest of their life. While we can never completely predict the future, their current health condition and age can usually provide some idea of their life expectancy and health needs. The reason you want to think about the future is because it might impact the kind of home you chose right now. If, for example, your parent has been diagnosed with a cognitive disease they might still be in the early stages, and perfectly capable of living independently. So, it might be tempting to place them in an exclusively independent living facility. However, you know that down the road their care needs will grow more and more extensive, so it probably makes more sense to place them into a facility that can transition them into that kind of care on site, which saves your mom or dad an unnecessary move. 

In another situation, perhaps your parent has been diagnosed with serious heath conditions, and are already in their late 90s and are unlikely to live for many more years. This might mean the budget doesn’t need to be so tight, and you can splurge on some more extravagant care during their final days. 

At the end of the day the best choice is the one that feels best to you and your loved one. So remember to trust your gut, and be patient during this major transition in your parent’s life.