It’s no secret that life is a series of transitions. From baby to toddler, toddler to child, and child to teenager until eventually, we become senior citizens. A major part of these transitions involves accepting some responsibilities while giving up others. Today, I want to talk about the transitions involved with pet ownership and getting older.

As anyone who’s ever had a pet can tell you, being a “pet parent” can be one of the most rewarding and heartbreaking experiences a person can embark on.  The rewards come in the form of companionship, not to mention the unconditional love that a pet gives, along with their unrelenting “cuteness.” The heartbreak comes, of course, from knowing that our relationships without furry, feathered, or scaly friends will eventually come to an end. 

In some cases, you may have a treasured family pet you had long before reaching old age. Or, like many parents, you may decide to get a pet later in life after your kids have flown the coop, much like my own parents did.  Within a few years of my moving out, my parents adopted a chihuahua named Lola, then a year later, another chihuahua named Prince, before finally adding a turtle named Marvin to the household. As a side note, I’m more afraid of their little dogs than I have ever been of pit bulls. 

Regardless of a pet’s origin story, at some point, the older people in our lives will have to give those animals up, which is one of the hardest things a person can decide to do.  So, today, I’d love to go over some ideas of how to help the senior in your life give up their pet, how to make the transition as easy as possible, and what services may offer additional help.

Why Seniors May Have To Give Up Their Pets

Humankind has long had a relationship with animals. Historically, we have kept pets to protect our homes; in other cases, it was for companionship and sometimes both. Whether for protection or mental health, the love we have for our pets is very real and deep. A recent report by Forbes tells us that the majority (66%) of US Households keep pets. Meanwhile, about a quarter of American pet owners are baby boomers.  

The unfortunate truth is that there may come a time when an older person in your life will have to give up their pet. Not because they want to, but instead because life has forced the decision upon them. And like anything in life, there could be a variety of reasons for this, a few of which I would like to highlight.  

Change in Living Situation

One common reason seniors have to give up their beloved pets is that their living situation changes. Suppose an older person currently lives in a pet-friendly house or apartment with their cat. In this case, they eventually have to move into an assisted living facility such as a retirement home. Of the over fifty-five million senior citizens in the United States, it’s estimated that about three million will at one point live in Nursing Homes.  While some retirement homes do allow pets, the truth is that many still don’t. As a result, mum, dad, or another older person in your care will have to part with their pet.

Another example may be when an older person moves in with a family member, such as one of their adult children, instead of a nursing home. However, even in this situation, issues can arise if the senior moves in with someone who lives in an apartment or building that doesn’t allow pets, or if someone in the household has allergies that would be triggered by the animal.  

Too Old To Care For the Pet

There may also come a time when the older person in your life is simply too old to take care of their pet. Let’s face it,  some pets require a lot of work. Things like cleaning after them, food, exercise, and vet visits, to say the least, take a lot of time and effort. As we get older, we just don’t have the same amount of energy to devote to a pet as we did in our youth. And as much as we love them, pets can be too much work for a person to maintain when there are so many other factors of aging at play. When this happens, it can be hard for the pet to get the care it needs, leading to suffering and further guilt felt by the aging “pet parent,” pained to know that while they are doing all they can, it’s simply not enough. This is especially true if the pet itself is getting to an age where it also needs additional attention. 

Too Sick To Care For a Pet

Medical setbacks can also be to blame for a pet not getting the care it might need. If the senior in your life is spending a lot of time at the hospital or is too ill to properly take care of their pets at home, it may be time to find the pet a new home.

The Cost Of Caring For a Pet

Something else to consider are the very real costs involved in pet ownership. This can, of course, vary by pet, since a turtle, a bird, and a dog all have different needs. But if an older person has a very limited income, spending over a thousand dollars per year on a dog can be an additional amount of stress weighing on an aging person’s mind. It can be even more of a challenge if the pet inevitably gets sick and requires expensive surgery or medication. 

In situations like the aforementioned, pet owners typically have two options: find a more accommodating living arrangement for the pet or another, far more dreaded solution. It’s important to remember that a bit of extra leg work to find the right home may be best for everyone. This way, the pet gets the chance to live in a loving home where their needs are attended to.

Talking to a Senior About Rehoming Their Pets

As our loved ones age, we have to prepare ourselves for the fact that we will have to have more than one uncomfortable talk with them. In some cases, it may be discussing Medicare or mental health. Perhaps one of the hardest discussions to have with an older adult is when to give up their pet. 

If you’re a pet owner, you probably already understand how hard that transition is.  If you aren’t, then it’s vital to keep in mind that many people love their pets as much as they do human members of their family. In some cases, a pet is an older person’s sole companion and the recipient of all of their love and affection. In 2022 alone, Americans spent $136.8 Billion on their pets, so clearly, the loss of a dearly beloved friend can be utterly crushing, especially if the older person had little to no say in the matter. 

I can’t stress enough how important it is to show compassion and patience in this situation. A change this traumatic can wreak havoc on an older person’s mental health. As such, it’s only natural for the older person to feel depressed.

When you are ready to chat about it,  try to meet with them in person in a relaxing environment so the older person will be at ease. Turn off your phone’s ringer to ensure you won’t be disturbed, then be honest about the situation. Explain to them why this big change has to happen as clearly and compassionately as you can. Maybe the new home the older person is moving to doesn’t allow pets, or perhaps you and the older person have realized the pet has become too much work for them to handle. 

If it is a scenario when the older person can no longer care for a pet and it’s putting the pet at risk to stay where it is, explain that as well. Sometimes, a senior giving up their pet is best for them both. This way, the pet can get the love, help, and attention it needs with a new owner. You can also explain that no longer having a pet may even free its former owner of certain responsibilities. For example, if the older person decides to take a trip they have always dreamed of, they won’t have the additional stress of finding someone to look after the pet while they are gone. 

So, in some ways, giving up their pet, as hard as it may be, can be a blessing in disguise. You can also let them know that you will explore all the options available and offer to allow the older person to be involved in the decisions moving forward. This way, they don’t feel as if it’s happening to them. After all, the senior you’ll be talking to is an adult who has made their own decisions for decades. 

Be Ready to Listen

It’s equally important to listen to what the older person in your life has to say. Even if it’s negative, allow them to express their feelings openly and honestly. Don’t rush them, judge them, or cut them off when they are speaking. Give all of the time they need to process this impending change. 

Don’t be Afraid To Reach Out For Additional Help

It’s perfectly natural to need additional help in situations like this, so don’t be afraid to contact a therapist for phone counseling or therapy online when talking to an older person about giving up their pets. Looking after the mental health of seniors going through difficult transitions is vital in a situation like this. 

Tips and Services To Help Rehome Pets

When the time has come to officially rehome a family pet, there are several options you and the older person in your life can choose from. It’s perfectly natural for the older person to ask you, their caregiver/loved one, to take the lead. After all, it’s a painful experience, and this sort of thing can cause anxiety and other feelings of negativity. So, when exploring these options, keep the older person in the loop. 

Friends & Family Members Looking For A Pet

If you or the person in your care has a family member, such as a child or grandchild looking to adopt a pet, this can be a great option, especially if the family member in question already has an existing relationship with the pet. It will make the transition between households a lot easier for everyone. 

Keep in mind that pet love isn’t a one-way street. When separation happens, it will affect the animal just as deeply as their former owner; this was a person with whom the animal spent the majority of their life. If the animal goes to someone they know, there will be some sense of familiarity there, and may even afford the opportunity for the former owner to visit the pet.  

Community Bulletin Boards

If the senior in your care happens to be a church or other local program member, using the community bulletin boards can also be a great option for finding new homes. It may take little more than putting up a poster with information on the pet and how to contact you as there is almost always someone looking to adopt a pet. Websites like Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace are potential options for finding new potential “pet parents.” Remember, it is always important to do a background search on the stranger you are thinking of rehoming the pet to, so you can make sure that the pet is going to a good home where it will get the love and care it needs. 

Rehome With Love, and Rehome By Adopt A Pet

If neither of the above mentioned community-based options work, then reaching out for help is always possible. You can ask your local vet if they have recommendations or you can reach out to businesses like Rehome With Love, which is a service dedicated to helping people rehome their pets. Their staff offer support during the rehoming process and help your pet find the best home possible. Another similar service is Rehome by Adopt A Pet. Both websites will allow you to create a profile for your pet in the hopes of finding a potential new home. One of the best parts of both services is that they allow you and/or the older person in your life to meet the pet’s potential new owner so you can make sure it’s the right fit, and more importantly, so you aren’t left in the dark about your pet’s fate.

Conclusion

As we’ve discussed, there are several reasons why senior citizens may have to rehome their pets. While it may be one of the hardest and most painful transitions to make, it may also be necessary for both the pet and the owner. 

A treasured family pet can be such a huge part of our lives the loss of one leaves a hole inside us that can be felt for decades. It’s important to be caring, compassionate, and patient if that time comes for the older person in your life, and remember there are resources that can help make the process smoother and easier on everyone involved. 

Right now, 14% of older people in the world suffer from some sort of mental health issue, including depression and anxiety disorders. Even more troubling is the fact that up to 27.2% of those who take their own lives are over the age of 60. As it stands, by 2030, one in six people in the world will be over the age of sixty, and that number will only continue to climb. All of this is to say that as we age, it’s vital to do everything necessary to maintain our mental health.

While the above numbers can seem scary, it’s because they are. The truth is that our mental health does deteriorate as we age. However, that doesn’t mean that once we turn sixty, it’s all over. Far from it! To paraphrase Winston Churchill, “Becoming a senior citizen is just the end of the beginning of our lives.” 

Even though mental health can be more challenging to maintain as we age, it’s vital to remember that it’s not strictly a one-way street.  In this blog, we’ll look at how you can boost your own mental health and that of people in your care. We’re not presenting cures for any adverse mental health issues, but we hope to provide a bit of a road map to help you and your loved ones live the best lives possible in your remaining years.

The Mental Health Challenges Faced by Seniors

Before we jump into the deep end, let’s first discuss some of the mental health challenges faced by seniors. Of course, as we are individuals who have had a diverse set of life experiences, it’s impossible to generalize. Having said that, there are unquestionably some universal challenges faced by all of us as we advance in an age that can wreak havoc on our mental health.

Emotional Impact of Aging:

Let’s not sugarcoat this. Getting older is not an easy thing. Our bodies don’t work the way they used when we were in our twenties. It can be frustrating to wake up with some new pain that you’re sure you didn’t feel the day before. Meanwhile, seeing photographs of ourselves in our youth can feel like we’re looking at a stranger or a fading memory. It’s not uncommon to find ourselves longing for our youth, wishing to relive good times, or cross a few more items off the bucket list. There comes a point in life where our memories become a bigger part of our lives than our dreams.

All of these feelings of loss and frustration take a heavy toll on our emotions, which can lead us down the road of depression, anxiety, loss, and regret. Those feelings can only be intensified if we’ve lost friends or loved ones along the way. At some point, as we get older, we find ourselves attending more funerals than birthdays.

Cognitive Decline: 

As we all know, our brains change as we get older. Specifically, certain parts of the brain shrink, certain regions of the brain don’t communicate with each other as well as they used to as less blood travels to the area. All of these issues may lead to cognitive decline which affects our ability to remember commitments, learn new tricks, pay attention to conversations, and account for our actions. While the aforementioned issues can be problematic on their own, they can also negatively affect our mental health. It can be embarrassing to suddenly start forgetting things which, in turn, can lead to feelings of depression. To be clear, it’s not just age that affects cognitive decline; medications, injuries, and other factors play a part as well. It’s important to keep in mind that getting older doesn’t automatically mean things will get worse for your brain. It’s still possible for older adults to learn new skills and form new memories. The point is, all is not lost for your brain just because you’re getting older.

The Loneliness Epidemic:

Loneliness has proven to be very harmful to a person’s mental health as it can lead to a whole host of negative feelings in older adults, including depression, sleep issues, anxiety, hopelessness, substance abuse, and more. Daily interactions many of us take for granted, such as even chatting with a barista at Starbucks, can make all the difference. Sadly, many older adults lack the opportunity to engage in light conversation like that.Unfortunately, as much as loneliness affects anyone of any age, loneliness is a major problem facing older adults, especially in the United States. According to a report by the New York Times, roughly 27% of people aged sixty and older in the United States live alone. While that number may not seem too high, it’s also ten percent higher than the global average.

The Link Between Physical Health and Mental Health:

It’s not a secret that mental health and physical health are two sides of the same coin. You can find any number of studies that say getting exercise is good for your mental health, including something as simple as just taking a walk. While many aren’t getting the amount of exercise they should, some simply can’t exercise due to illness or other physical limitations that come with old age.  

This situation can be incredibly frustrating, especially for people who used to exercise regularly. Lacking the benefits of exercise, many may start to feel depressed and have feelings of poor self-worth.

What are “Meaningful Activities and How Do They Help?”

What is a “meaningful activity”?

If you aren’t familiar with the term, according to the Dementia Services Development Center it’s an activity that provides emotional, creative, intellectual, and spiritual stimulation in an environment that is appropriate to the individual’s preferences and needs. 

Some examples of meaningful activities could include:

Getting Creative!

Creative pursuits like painting, playing music, writing, pottery, building models, cooking, or any number of artistic outlets are a great way to express ourselves and focus our minds and bodies.  Painting or drawing, for example, engages your hand-eye coordination, as does playing music, even if all you know how to play is a washboard. Along with stimulating the mind, they also provide a sense of accomplishment, which in turn boosts self-esteem. Taking an image from your mind and then translating it onto paper can be a challenge, but when it’s done, voilà! You did that! Keep in mind, just because you’ve never done a certain creative thing, don’t let that stop you! Have you always wanted to try pottery? Now’s the time!

Exercise for the body and brain: 

Physical activity is one of those classic “win-win” activities. For those able to participate in any form of exercise, be it yoga, taking a walk, playing golf, or engaging in any other low-intensity exercise, it allows us to improve our physical/cardiovascular health. Doing so helps to reduce the risk of developing dementia as we get older. However, more than that, exercise has been shown to improve people’s moods and overall mental health. There is just something so relaxing about going for a walk on a bright sunny day.

Volunteering and Community Service: 

It may shock you to know this, but volunteering and community service are among the best things you can do for your mental health. It’s true! By volunteering, you’re able to have a positive impact on your community as a whole. But also, giving back has been shown to reduce stress, depression, anxiety, and general illness, and that’s not all! Along with providing a great boost to your mental health, it also helps decrease the risk of heart disease and strokes. Plus, according to the Mayo Clinic, those who volunteer experience a lower mortality rate than those who don’t. Helping others helps you by giving a sense of purpose. 

Social and Recreational Activities: 

AAs mentioned a moment ago, loneliness, or being alone for long periods, is quite bad for your mental health. As such, social activities are a great way to combat those negative feelings. A few ideas might include joining a book club, playing bocci, join a regular card game, or becoming a member of a wine-tasting club. Thankfully, countless social activities are available at any given time, and if you can’t find one that appeals to you, don’t be afraid to create your own! Social activities like these are great because they allow you to fight off loneliness and feelings of depression and isolation while also potentially making new friends. Even better, if these social activities occur outside the home, you may even get some exercise during or on your way to the activity.    

Lifelong Learning: 

Education of all forms is always a net positive, and just because you’re in your golden years doesn’t mean you should stop learning. In fact, learning new things is good for your mental health! Research has shown that learning something new will help boost your confidence, improve feelings of self-esteem, and provide a sense of purpose. It’s great if you are able to take a class and socialize in person, but if not, there are plenty of online courses to help you learn something new from the comfort of your own home. Have you always wanted to learn a new language? Or become an expert on obscure pirate history? Maybe you want to learn a few new recipes? The world of education is quite literally your oyster.  

One of the best things about the age we live in is how many doors technology has opened up to us. At virtually the speed of thought, you can open a web browser window and take a deep dive into any topic or reach out to a friend or family member half a world away. You can even mix and match your meaningful pursuits. It may be a surprise to learn that certain video games provide excellent learning opportunities. Ever wanted to visit the famous library in Alexandria, Egypt? A video game like Assassin’s Creed Origins allows you to do just that! Other games in the series, like Assassin’s Creed Odyssey, allow players to take a painstakingly recreated walk through Ancient Greece and learn about the culture of the civilization. If you aren’t interested in the game itself, both Origins and Odyssey provide in-game walking tours so you can take your time and learn at your own pace. Plus, video games are proven to be very beneficial for mental health because they engage the brain and require hand-eye coordination!

Overcoming Barriers to Participation

If you’re concerned that you won’t be able to participate in any meaningful activities we’ve mentioned, don’t be discouraged! You can still overcome them with a will and a bit of creativity.  How? We’re glad you asked!

Physical Limitations:

As we age, many of us will experience mobility issues for a number of reasons. Thankfully, exercises like tai chi or yoga are very healthy without being too physically taxing. Many activities, including exercising, can be done without leaving your chair or bed. Whatever you do, be sure to go at your own pace.

Limitations due to poor mental health:

As much as meaningful activities are beneficial for us, mental health issues like anxiety, depression, or lack of motivation can keep us from participating in those helpful activities.  People will sometimes stop themselves from trying something new simply because they fear being negatively judged by someone more experienced. “I don’t want to take a cooking class– people will make fun of me. I’ll just hold up the lesson, and the teacher will get mad,” for example. All of these are very valid fears. 

In scenarios like this, keep in mind that everyone was a beginner at some point. That goes for athletic, creative, or social activities. Even the best in the world at what they do knew nothing at the start. They became the best because they didn’t give up. If you lack motivation to participate in any given activity because you’re feeling depressed or may be intimidated for some other reason, remember how much you might enjoy the activity you’re considering. Better yet, call up a friend or family member and have them join you. In the end, you’ll more than likely feel better. Also, suppose you or the person in your care need additional motivational help. In that case, online psychologists are always available for therapy online or perhaps even phone counseling.

Geographical limitations:

It’s understandable that this one can frustrate a lot of people. If you happen to live in a small town, you may not have access to certain classes or social activities that people in bigger cities do. But that doesn’t mean you’re out of luck; in many cases, all you need is an internet connection and a phone/tablet/laptop to connect with any number of online games and communities almost no matter where you are in the world. Never forget that necessity is the mother of invention! In other words, don’t be afraid to try to organize an event yourself. For example, you could organize a food drive or start a club that sews quilts for unhoused people and run it right from your home. Any activities that allow you to help your community while being active and social can be incredibly beneficial. 

Conclusion: The Transformative Power of Meaningful Activities

As we have discussed, meaningful enterprises and participating in creative activities with a purpose can do wonders to improve the mental health of seniors. They can provide a great sense of accomplishment, belonging, and self-worth while potentially allowing you to help your community. Even more importantly, meaningful activities help to keep things like anxiety, depression, and loneliness at bay. We want you to have the best mental health possible in your golden years. Hopefully, some of these tips mentioned will help you do just that!